The Strife Diaries
by Lovely Strife
Summary: This is the diary of LC Strife, a trainer and pokemon breeder who is trying to escape a troubled past.
1. March

March 3

Dear Diary,

It's been a long time since I've written in one of these. I'm so used to jotting down a few sporadic words in letters that it feels kinda weird to fill all your blank pages, but I'll adapt. I always have, ever since that night in Vermillion…. But I'm not going there. This is about the present, the future: my hopes, my dreams, my goals. This diary isn't about the past. This isn't about the sad, but rather about the promise of tomorrow. Or whatever pops into my mind while I'm writing. You know, which-ever. ^_^ I just need a place where I can vent and just be myself. Oh! And it will certainly come in handy if I ever have another Orange Island incident and forget a few months of my life… I still don't know how I got all of those badges…

So… Where to start… Well, today I finally started working on my house. I bought this land north of Floaroma Town back when the entire area was disgusting and polluted. The last owner practically gave it to me for free because the house was overrun by Muk! I'm sure you can understand how surprised I was when I came back to this place and discovered it was covered with beautiful flowers and greenery. The biggest shock was when the Muk who had previously invaded the house were replaced by a cute clan of Budew. The house and barn are both still a mess, but the beauty of nature inspired me to fix it back up. Right now I'm going to focus on making the interior livable… Quite a task (to say the least). But I'm not worried about it. I found two rich old people who are helping me finance the remodeling project. I challenge them to battles whenever I run out of money. It's cute how they think they can win against my Iggy even though they've lost the last 286 battles in a row. I feel bad about it sometimes, but then I just remember the snobby girls from the Orange Islands that financed the land purchase. I wonder if they are related…. It would make sense… I'll have to add that to the conspiracy page.

Today Iggy and I had a scare with a nasty group of Kecleon. They used their color-changing abilities to steal my tools and then they tried to take Iggy! I managed to catch them, but I think Iggy is traumatized. I don't think I'll let them out of their pokeballs anytime soon…

Well, Iggy is being needy, so I'll stop for now. I promise to write more tomorrow.

March 4

Dear Diary,

Torterra, Pidgeotto, Iggy, and I are going to buy new flooring in Oreburgh City. Roark and I have been exchanging letters for a few weeks and I think he finally found something I can use in the mines. I hope I understood his meaning right… What else could "It's Foresight! It's Here Goes!" possibly mean? After that, I'm going to Sunyshore City. You never know what the open air market has up for sale. I got my book shelves there a few weeks ago; they were a real bargain. Busy day ahead of me!

March 5

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was crazy. The trip to Oreburgh City was uneventful and Roark was at the mine working when I found him. It turns out that he didn't have any flooring ready for me, but he did find a rock that kinda looked like an Igglybuff if you held it towards a light at the right angle. I was very disappointed, but happily brought the rock home with me. I think I'll put it on the display shelf next to the old piece of cake I found in that abandoned mansion. They complement each other well in an odd way…

My trip to Sunyshore City went much better. On my way to the open air market, I saw Volkner. I've had a crush on him ever since I first saw him because he looks and acts like a rock star… He was taking to the local Nurse Joy, so I just walked into the nearest house. Unfortunately, Iggy didn't follow me. Unfortunately, I didn't notice that until it was too late. Unfortunately, I was alerted to Iggy's activities by the sound of screams and the slaps… and Iggy's high pitched battle cry… I was inside of the hotel at the time and rushed out, and it was not a pretty sight. I saw Nurse Joy running away from Iggy and Volkner's Raichu trying to electrocute Iggy. Looking back, it was a pretty funny sight. At the time, I was mortified.

I dashed towards Iggy and managed to grab him on my first try. Unfortunately, Volkner yelled out for his Raichu to use charge beam just before I grabbed Iggy and I didn't notice the attack until it was too late. I blacked out after that. Volkner told me that after I went down, Iggy freaked out but wasn't able to hurt anybody because he was trapped under my weight. Volkner told me that he and his Octillery carried me and Iggy to his house because Nurse Joy didn't want Iggy anywhere near the Pokémon center. Trust me, that is a good thing on so many different levels… Anyways, I was unconscious for a few hours before I came to. Volkner seemed happy that I was awake, but I was totally out of it. He told me what happened and I tried to leave, but he wouldn't let me. He said I needed to rest and I wasn't going to argue. I ended up staying on his couch for the night.

I'll tell you the rest tomorrow. I still have a killer headache…

March 6

Dear Diary,

Okay, I'll finish my thoughts from yesterday and then move on to more pressing matters. As soon as I woke up, Iggy clobbered me with a big hug. Volkner came in a few minutes over and seemed happy that I was alive. He apologized for telling his Pokémon to shock me and I apologized for everything Iggy did. It was a bit weird, but he did smile and held my hand at one point. It was the highlight of my day…

Part of me wanted to tell Volkner why Iggy attacked the nurse, but it wouldn't end well if I did. I just told him that there was some ugliness and that we could never go back. He didn't ask any more questions and said that I should stay with him for the night. It was already sunset and he didn't want me flying home after being unconscious for so long. I agreed and spent the night in Sunyshore City.

That was pretty much all the excitement for that day. I cuddled Iggy for a few hours, tried to write in you, and then went to sleep. I woke up just before sunrise and woke Iggy up. We gathered our things together and cleaned up the room we were staying in. Volkner walked in on us as we were almost ready to go and asked why we were in such a hurry to leave. I told him that a good guest never over-stays their welcome. He smiled and said that I would never over-stay my welcome, but that Iggy did after five minutes. Iggy didn't think it was funny, but I did.

Volkner talked us into staying for breakfast. While we ate he asked if I had any badges. I showed him all the ones I had collected over the years. I had every badge from the Indigo, Orange, Johto, and Hoenn Leagues. He was impressed and said he couldn't wait for my challenge. Although I knew a few gym leaders and had spent some time wondering around Sinnoh, I hadn't yet gotten around to getting the badges. I just don't think I want them anymore. For a while I thought the badges were a good goal, but I don't think I'll ever challenge the Elite 4 again… I don't know… I think that I have talent as a trainer, but I'm not sure that I want to be a trainer anymore. Maybe I want to be like my grandmother and just live a quiet life in the countryside…

That's neither here nor there. Breakfast was nice and I think that Volkner is even nicer than he looks. You'd think he's an aloof or arrogant like most gym leaders, but he was actually a nice guy. Although I couldn't help but get a weird vibe from him… Not a creepy vibe, but the kind of vibe you get when you think that somebody wants to say something but they don't say it. Or maybe I'm just over-thinking the entire meal… Either way, after we finished eating Iggy and I left. Volkner gave me a hug and then I went to the market to see if there was anything worth buying. I found a few interesting artifacts before I flew home on Pidgeotto.

I've spent pretty much the entire time between then and now recuperating from that Raichu's shock. My curly brown hair is still overly frizzy because of it… I tried to wash it, but that only made it worse. Hermit won't stop making fun of the way I look. I know that he means well, but it would be nice if he used more tact.

Now for the more pressing matter! The rock Roark gave me looks great next to the old cake, but I don't know if I'll be able to find something to compliment both of them. The shelf will be utterly empty if it's only the two of them alone...

March 7, Morning

Dear Diary,

I think I'll take a break from working on the house and concentrate on the land. I have a long list of things to do… I think I'll start with putting up a fence around the property. Then I'll make a berry garden next to the house. Or maybe I'll work on the garden first… I am running low on berries, and without berries I can't make any medicine for my Pokémon. Yeah, I think I'll start that right now. 

March 7, Evening

I managed to prep eight berry plots, but I need to run into town to get some mulch. I'll do that tomorrow after I visit Roark. I might have a new idea for flooring. It's simple; we take some spears from the underground and break them. I think my Machamp will be able to obliterate them well enough. Then we take the pieces and spread them all over the floor. Then, we heat them to a high temperature so that they melt into a new, hard floor. I think it's just crazy enough to work, but I'm going to Oreburgh City to see what he thinks. I'm not even sure if spears can be crushed or melted…

March 8

Dear Diary,

I'm staying in Oreburgh City for a few days. Roark and I tested my idea. My Machamp couldn't break the spears, but his Rampardos could break them with ease. Then my charmeleon (lovingly named Leon) was able to melt them into a translucent sheet. The sheet of melted spear stuff was very hard and Leon couldn't even scratch it. I think it'll be perfect for the house, but we'll need hundreds of orbs before we can even think about doing an entire room. So guess who is going digging in the underground? Yeppers, it is me. I like being in the underground so far. It is quiet and peaceful in its own way. Roark and his grandfather showed me the basics of how to navigate and dig for treasure. Besides getting spears for the house, I've found some old bones (perfect for my Growlithe) and an everstone. I almost found some revive medicine, but the wall collapsed before I could finish digging it out. Roark said that I could find many rare things in the underground, including rare plates! I hope that I can find a complete set. I haven't had real flatware in such a long time…

I also made my very own secret base. You just need to drill into the rock and then poof! There is a big room that you can fill with things. Someday, I'm going to fill mine with pokedolls. Right now, it is pretty barren. All I have is a computer, some flags, and a table… It's nothing like Roark's. He has these beautiful crystals in his secret base that are much bigger than the two of us combined! It was so beautiful how he angled the lights to hit them so they made the walls shimmer and dance with colors.

Iggy hates it when Roark and I are in the underground. He's used to having me with him all the time. I feel very conflicted. It's nice to get away and be on my own sometimes, but I have a responsibility to take care of Iggy too. His wellbeing means the world to me. So does the wellbeing of all my Pokémon… I suppose life is all about give and take. Roark was nice enough to let Iggy spend time with his Geodude while we were in the underground, but Iggy still cried when we left the gym to go underground… Hopefully he won't do that again tomorrow. I don't think I can take the guilt. That little igglybuff has a way of tugging at my heart strings like nothing else…

Oh, and I almost forgot. The first thing that Roark did when we met was comment on my hair being frizzier than usual. I glared at him and said I didn't want to talk about it. He teased me about it off and on for most of the day, but he stopped after I told him to ask Volkner why my hair was a mess the next time he was in Sunyshore City. He didn't tease me after that… I wonder if I hit a nerve? I didn't mean to, I just don't want to say that an electric rat knocked me out for twelve hours. It really is embarrassing, even if it is was a high level rat… I'm an accomplished trainer! I have dozens of badges! This type of thing shouldn't have happened to me…

March 9, Morning

Dear Diary,

Iggy freaked out when I tried going into the underground (he knocked out the Geodude… I was so embarrassed!) so we ended up going home. We have enough orbs to do the kitchen and Roark promised that he would give me all the spare orbs he finds during his free time. Then he gave me a pokedoll for my secret base! It's an adorable little Skitty. It's kinda funny, but Roark blushed when I gave him a thank-you hug. I wonder if he likes me… I don't know how I'd feel if he did. He is the first friend I made when I got to Sinnoh… Back in Kanto I remember this one guy going crazy over me when we first met, but the people he was traveling with said that he acted the same way around every girl. It was very weird… I don't remember their names either… Oh well, I shouldn't dwell in the past. Given the choice, I'd like to forget most of my life in Kanto.

Right now Iggy and I are riding on Torterra. We're slowly making our way back to the farm. I like writing in you! To be honest I didn't write much back when my grandma gave me my first diary. It's nice to know that I've changed since then. I have that old diary around here somewhere… I can never find anything in my bag. Once the majority of the remodeling is done then I can empty it out and sort through everything. I'll finally have the space to dump all of the things I don't use on a daily basis. 

March 9, Evening

My house is destroyed! I was able to recover all of my important things (with the help of my Pokémon), but the house is destroyed! I don't know what happened or what to do now… Things were shaking and then Hermit looked at me and then we were outside and then it was like the house imploded in slow motion! It was… I am so upset I can't even write…

I even found the old cake (the rock is currently MIA) and all my books. I'll write more when I've figured out what to do…

March 10

Dear Diary,

Well, the house is as destroyed now as it was last night, but I did have some time to digest it and to make some plans. I decided to take some time to travel around Sinnoh before I start rebuilding my house. After looking through everything, I think that some Diglett tunneled into and under the foundation. There isn't much else that could have caused it to collapse the way it did. I should be happy that I had Hermit with me when the house imploded, but I'm just so sad about having lost my home. Silver lining! None of my Pokémon were hurt either. Iggy, Ned, Hermit, Leon, Claudene… Everybody who was in the house with me got out without incident. All of the others live in the barn or in other places on this plot of land. I think that I will leave somebody in charge while I travel. Maybe the cranidos… For now, I'm just going to ride around on my bike with Iggy until I can clear my head and decide where we are going next.

March 18

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry that I haven't written in so long! Not much has really happened. I've spent about a week in the resort area and it's really helped me clear my head. I don't know anybody around here, but some say they were from Kanto like me. I lied when they asked where I was from. It's just easier that way…

During my time at the resort area, I got entrance into the Ribbon Syndicate building. It is absolutely fabulous. They give massages to us every day and they even let me buy some new ribbons for Iggy. Iggy is the reason we could get in. He has ribbons from beating the Elite 4 and competing in beauty contests from several regions along with other miscellaneous ribbons we've gotten while traveling. One particularly weird man gave us a foot ribbon… Anyways, I digress. Most of the people in that area are kinda snobby, but they all think Iggy is the most adorable igglybuff they've ever seen. I contribute that to the amount of time he cuddles with me and other Pokémon. He really is the cutest little guy! Overall, it has been very relaxing. I can safely say that I am over the shock and stress of having an imploded house.

I think I'll go check out some of the other islands. The ones I've seen so far have been very nice, but I doubt they all have a resort area like this one. I went to Iron Island once, but I didn't stay for very long. Iggy got sea sick on the ride there so I had to turn back and ended up spending time in Canalave City. I love that place! I remember visiting my aunt there when I was little… I think we'll make our way there next.

March 19

On my way to Canalave City I decided to take a side-trip to Mt. Coronet. There is supposed to be a full moon tonight and there's no better place to watch one than the ruins at the very top of the mountain. Iggy and I found it when we first started wondering around Sinnoh. We were lost, but sometimes you find the best things when you are lost. Iggy and I got here a few hours ago and it really is beautiful. The moon has never seemed brighter or beautiful than it does now… I wish I could have my farm up here. I love Floaroma Town. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, but sometimes it feels like I was never meant to be there. I've never had that feeling up here on the mountain.

To be honest, I never really felt like I belonged. Back in Vermilion City was the worst. My grandmother loved me very much. In fact, the first ten years of my life were spent living with her just outside of the city. We would collect berries and herbs in the forest. She taught me how to tend to Pokémon and how to create medicine. I was so happy with her! But I also had to visit my mom in the city, and she made me feel like I couldn't do anything right. If it wasn't my glasses it was my hair. If it wasn't my hair, it was my choice of Pokémon. She wanted me to be just like her and her sisters, her cousins... I shouldn't go there. When I started writing this, I said it was about the future and not the past. I'm going to do my best to keep that promise. I'll write more tomorrow. Tonight we sleep under the stars.

March 20, Morning

Dear Diary,

I'm on my way to Iron Island! I rode Pidgeotto to Canalave City. I was low on pokeballs, so I went into the pokemart. I met the Canalave Gym leader, Byron, while I was checking out. I didn't have time to chat because the boat was going to leave with or without me, but it was nice to meet another gym leader. Now I think I've met them all! I heard that his gym is very hard to navigate because it has a weird floor puzzle. I don't look forward to challenging him. I like something straight-forward like Roark has at his gym. You can battle the gym assistants or go straight to the leader; you don't have to solve some arbitrary puzzle along the way.

Come to think of it, Byron acted funny around me. He was nice but seemed… I don't know how to explain it… He seemed surprised to see me. I'll write more later on today. I don't know where Iggy and I are staying tonight, but at the very least I can write by the light on my Charmeleon's tail. 

March 20, Evening

This island is boring. I helped this guy named Riley find his way out of the cave and he gave me an egg. Can you believe that is the most exciting thing that happened to me today? Is that boring or what! I think I'll explore a bit more tomorrow and then go back to my farm to start cleaning up the rubble that was once my house…

March 21

Dear Diary,

Oh my God, I couldn't wait to write in you today. So much has happened today and I don't know where to start.

Well, it turns out that Roark is Byron's son. Not only that, but Roark went to visit me after a few of his letters to me didn't get delivered. He saw that my house had collapsed and thought I was trapped inside! He contacted his father and they used their Pokémon to sort through the rubble. After a few days and a lack of dead bodies, Byron went back to Canalave City and Roark started looking for me. He asked everybody around Floaroma Town if they had seen me or Iggy and even asked some of his friends in Jubilife City to keep an eye out for me. When Roark finally returned home to Oreburgh City, Byron had left a message for him. Apparently he described me as "that brown-haired girl with the annoying little Igglybuff" and said that I was heading to Iron Island. Roark left to Canalave straight away and they both went to Iron Island looking for me. (And, for the record, those were his words and not mine. Iggy is not annoying; he's just curious… Byron shouldn't have such spiky hair unless he is prepared for igglybuffs to be curious and touch it.) That's what Roark told me, at least.

I was sleeping quite peacefully with my Torterra and Leon standing guard when Byron and Roark found us. I'm not entirely clear on what happened, but I woke up to Iggy and Roark running around while on fire with Byron laughing hysterically at the entrance to the cave we made camp in. Each one has a different story on exactly what happened and I don't think I'll take sides… I'm just happy that I had the right berries to cure their burns. Anyways, I put Leon and Torterra back into their pokeballs and made my way out of the cave with Roark and Byron. Byron had a small house between the cave and the port and we spent the rest of the night there. They were very nice and let Iggy and I have the bed while they slept in sleeping bags on the floor. I said that we would be fine in our sleeping bag, but they insisted. How could I say no? It isn't polite to put down their hospitality. At least that is what my grandmother always told me.

Now, on our way out of the cave I explained how the house was destroyed when I came back from Oreburgh City. I apologized for not telling him before I went to the resort. I'm just not used to having people care. Roark is the first person I've let get close to me in a long, long time. I don't think anybody noticed when I left Kanto. I know for a fact that nobody cared when I made my journeys through Johto and Hoenn. I usually just kept people at arm's length and did my best not to get noticed. I don't know what happened when I met Roark. It was a day just like any other day. I was catching Pokémon in the wild and training the Pokémon on my team when we just found each other. Or, as he puts it, I just fell out of the sky. We hit it off and kept in touch when I went exploring through Sinnoh. I suppose it never clicked until tonight that we are friends and that he cares about me. I feel so thick for not realizing how he felts..

Ouch! My hand is cramping, so I'll write more tomorrow. I haven't even gotten to the best part!

March 22

Dear Diary,

Roark, Iggy, and I few back to Oreburgh City on Pidgeotto. We're going to stay with Roark while we make plans for the new house. Roark has some experience with blueprints and I have a fairly good idea of what I want, so hopefully it won't take too long for us to draw up a plan. Then we can prep the land and hire a contractor to do all the real work. I could hang drywall and fix the many electrical problems my old house had with the help of my Pokémon, but there is no way I'll be able to build and entire house on my own. I'm so lucky to have Roark helping me. His technical skills are a godsend. I can see why he is in charge of safety at the mines. He's worked hard to get where he is and I respect that greatly. Roark has done something with his life; he has done something that makes a difference.

In many ways I wish I'd done more with my life. I'm a moderately accomplished trainer, but what does that really count for in life? Would anybody remember my name in ten years if I died tomorrow? Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I had gone into the family business… I would make a difference in the lives of people and their Pokémon, but would anybody really remember me? I know the answer is no. I would just be another face in the crowd, just another person on their journey. Hopefully I can make a difference in somebody's life when I get my farm up and running. Hopefully I can be remembered as me and not just another drone.

I think Iggy is warming up to Roark. Usually he doesn't like anybody but me, but he doesn't seem to mind Roark. I was afraid that Iggy would feel jealous towards Roark like he did a few weeks ago when we went mining together. It's very refreshing to have Iggy act this way. Maybe we can branch out and be more social now… Nah. Baby steps. I'm not going to push my luck with Iggy. At least now right now…

March 23

I went into the underground today. I would have taken Iggy, but the underground is no place for a baby Pokémon. He could get lost in all the winding tunnels or somebody might claim him as treasure. I didn't risk it; Iggy stayed above ground with Leon and Hermit. Iggy has been moderately scared of Leon ever since the burning incident a few days ago, so he didn't act out like he did with Roark's geodude. While in the underground I managed to find a fossil. It's really pretty and I think it will look nice next to the old piece of cake. It makes me sad that I wasn't able to find the rock Roark gave me in the rubble of my house. This fossil is not as nice as that rock but it is nice enough to have on display. Roark said it was a Helix fossil and that the scientists at the mining museum could use the DNA inside of it to bring an omanyte back to life. I thought about going to the museum, but I think I'd rather let the poor guy rest in peace. And I think he would look great next to that old piece of cake... I'll go with the first one if anybody asks, but deep down inside I know the real reason why it will stay a fossil...

I met Ian today. He's one of the Oreburgh Gym assistants as well as a referee for most of the battles at the gym. He's really nice, but he makes me a bit uneasy. He thought I looked familiar, but I managed to deflect it and leave before he could make the connection. I hate it so much when people notice me. My glasses and hair are so different from the rest of them! Most people can't tell unless we're standing side-by-side. But I make sure that never happens. I make sure they never see me. If they see me, then I could be recognized and my life would change for the worse. I'm not about to let that happen. I have a goal now and I'm not going to let them ruin it!

March 24

Dear Diary,

I'm in the mountains right now. It's really beautiful up here. I've spent most of the day thus far training with Iggy and my vaporeon, Ned, around the mine. Ned needs the experience in such rocky terrain and I think he learned a great deal from this excursion. Maybe I'll use Ned to challenge Roark someday. He'd have a great type advantage against Roark's team… Hmm… Maybe him and a venusaur…

I just noticed that I didn't write everything that happened on the 21st. I wish I had done it a few days ago when it was fresh in my head... I feel like a total dolt for not writing about it sooner. At least I can do it in a place where I know I'm alone. It's always easier to write when I don't have to worry about people reading my diary. Yay for silver lining! Anyways, Roark, Byron, Iggy, and I spent the night in the little house Byron owned on Iron Island. Iggy woke the three of us up by bouncing from one person to another. Roark laughed at it, but Byron look pretty mad. He grabbed Iggy mid-bounce and threw him at me. Iggy looked so cute that I couldn't get mad at him, but I did apologize to the guys for Iggy's nonconventional way of waking people up. I offered to make breakfast to make up for it and they gladly accepted. I'm a pretty good cook. I'm not the best, but my grandmother taught a few tricks in the kitchen. They said it was delicious, but I'm not sure if they meant it or were just being polite. I think Roark was being sincere, but it's hard to read Byron. He reminds me of Lt. Surge in more ways than one...

Byron left the island on the first ferry, but Roark and I stayed behind because Iggy ran back into the cave. Naturally, I refused to leave without him. Roark and I talked about how he found me while we searched for Iggy. He said that he was worried when I didn't answer his letters and how that led to him and his father finding me in the cave. I told him about what I had done after my house was destroyed and how sorry I was about not telling him. It didn't even cross my mind that somebody would care about where I was or what I was doing. He said that he understood but that I should just tell him next time. He said I was one of his best friends and that he cared about me. I blushed a bit and gave him a hug. It was so easy to talk to Roark. I wish everybody was like him.

We ended up searching the cave for about an hour before we found Iggy. It turns out that he was chasing a Geodude that was carrying a rare berry. I used a Shuppet I attained through a trade to steal the berry from him, but that made the Geodude very angry. Luckily, Roark didn't miss a beat and used his Rampardos to knock him out before it could hurt my Shuppet. After I scolded Iggy for walking off, Roark said he knew a shorter way out of the cave than just backtracking, so Iggy and I followed him. Once we were at a dead end, Roark sent out his Onix to move several boulders. Once Onix was done another path was revealed. It was small, but all of us were able to squeeze through. At the end, there was a small ledge that overlooked the sea. Roark said that we could stay there until the next ferry came.

It was so beautiful in that place. The turbulent sea was below us and the clear sky was above. It wasn't long before Iggy fell asleep at my feet. Roark and I spent hours just laying in the grass and talking. Roark told me that he found this when he was a kid and went there often to clear his head. I told him about Mt. Coronet and how Iggy and I would always go there when we needed some time away from everything. Roark also told me about how he was tired of his dad still treating him like a kid even though he's proven himself as a gym leader. I always felt the opposite way with my mom. She never gave me a chance to be a kid and always had unrealistic expectations for me. It told him that he was lucky to be close to his family even if they still saw him as a kid. He smiled and stroked my cheek. It was a perfect moment… I don't think it could have been any better.

I wanted to tell him about Happini, but I don't think he would understand. She was my first Pokémon, but things just didn't work out… Roark has had his Rampardos since he was a kid. He'd probably think less of me if he knew what happened to my first Pokémon… But then again there is Iggy. I've had Iggy since he was a little egg. I was there when he hatched and we've been inseparable ever since. I think he can see the bond that Iggy and I share. Iggy is the only real family I've had since my grandmother died… He means the world to me. He is an extraordinary Pokémon in so many ways… Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if my mother had understood that…

Now we're on our way back to civilization. By the time we reach Canalave City, Pidgeotto should be rested enough to give both of us a ride back to Oreburgh City. Roark said that I can stay with him until my housing situation is taken care of. He's a good friend.

March 25

DD,

I twisted my ankle. I think I stepped into the opening of a Sandshrew's burrow and twisted it when I didn't have any footing. Iggy got slightly squished when I fell, so we're both doing our best to recover. Roark should be back in an hour and hopefully he won't insist I got to a hospital. I wrapped my ankle and it's feeling fine. Well, as long as I don't put any weight on it. Walking is highly over-rated, and if you ask m– 

Later

DD,

Roark got back a bit earlier than expected. He said he's carrying me to the hospital if my ankle isn't better by tomorrow. Roark also cooked dinner, and let's just say his skills as a chef are lacking. But he did make up for that by getting me a book about the history of Oreburgh City. He said they have them at the mining museum. Maybe I'll go there tomorrow and see what's inside...

March 26

DD,

My ankle is doing better today. I can put some weight on it but I do this weird little hobble/shuffle/limp when I walk. I have enough mobility to take care of myself, but I think I'll wait until tomorrow before I venture outside again. I'm going through my bag and making a list of the things I need to buy at the pokemart. It amazes me how much I can fit in my one little bag.

Roark and I have been working on the blueprints every chance we get. In fact, they're almost done. It's going to be two levels tall and have an attic and basement. The second floor is where all the "living" stuff is going to be and the bottom floor is all business. I really liked some of the ideas Roark came up with. This house is going to rock! As soon as we're done with the blueprints I can get them to the contractor in Floaroma Town and have my Machamp start prepping the land. Part of me doesn't want the blueprints to be finished so soon, to be honest with you. I like it in Oreburgh City; I like spending so much time with Roark. He's… I don't know... He's… Roark.

March 27

I was at the pokemart today and some kid walked up to me and asked if I was Roark's girlfriend. I was mortified. I just didn't know what to do or say. Is that what people think of me and Roark? I mean, we're friends. Great friends. And I'm a girl. But it isn't like we're making out in the middle of the street! I'm still pretty tense from it all and I'm still freaking out. My mind is racing about it all. Why did he say that? Did I say the right thing in return? I mean, it just sort of came out of my mouth. "What do you think?" and he just looked at me for a minute and then said yeah and I said "Well then, there you go." I left after that, I didn't even get the pokeballs I needed at the pokemart!

I don't even know if I'm ready for a relationship right now. I've never even had a boyfriend before! At least not a proper one. It's complicated, OKAY! And what does Roark think of all this? I'm not going there. I'm not even going to ask him because what if he says he's interested in me as more than friends? And what would I do if he isn't? Or even worse, if he is! I'm not ready for this. And that isn't even considering the most mortifying part of what that kid said. "If you two had a kid he's probably wear glasses just like the two of you." Kids? KIDS? When did kids get thrown into the mix? I don't even know if I want kids, let alone other people thinking that I'll have kids with a guy that I don't even know if I like or if he likes me! Urgh!

That's it, I'm leaving tomorrow whether the blueprints are done or not. Oreburgh City is suffocating me.

March 28

DD,

I couldn't wait until tomorrow to leave. I didn't even grab the blueprints. I just left. I flew on Pidgeotto to Sunyshore City. I left Roark a note, so hopefully he won't come looking for me… It's so nice to get away from the stifling environment of Oreburgh City. It's nice to be able to breathe again. I think I'll buy some new clothes in Veilstone City tomorrow. I would go today, but Iggy has had enough flying for one day. I don't want to hurt the little guy just because I need to buy new clothes. I did manage to buy some seals at the open air market and that made Iggy happy. He's been popping in and out of his pokeball for an hour because he likes the sparkles when he comes out. I think it is the cutest thing!

Right now I'm watching the sun set on the beach. The sea is so beautiful right now. I remember spending a lot of time looking into the sea after my grandmother died. Sometimes it was the only way to escape my mother's barrage of criticisms. Iggy and I would just climb onto the roof and watch the sun set over the ocean. Sometimes we even fell asleep up there! I also remember writing in my diary while we were perched up there. I wish I knew where that diary went. I'm sure it got eaten by my bag… So many things I put in there mysteriously disappear. It would be fun to see what I wrote in it back then. I got that diary from my grandmother on my tenth birthday. It was one of the last ones she celebrated with me… I wish she could have been there when Iggy hatched. It was such an amazing moment and I think she would have understood how it changed me. I love baby Pokémon and Iggy was always a special one. From the day I found his egg I knew that we were a team.

Looking at the waves reminds me of how close my past is. This water is the same water that flows in the port at Vermillion City. People in Kanto could be here… Maybe I should just face them. Maybe I should just accept everything…

March 29

Dear Diary,

Iggy is sick, so I'm staying in Sunyshore until he gets better. It always worries me when he isn't at 100%. Usually he is very happy and bouncy, but when he's under the weather then he just flops down on my shoulder and gets all droopy. I've been cuddling him all day and feeding him medicine, so hopefully he'll be back to normal soon. I wonder if his illness has to do with his game of going into and out of his pokeball… I doubt the seals did anything, but maybe moving in and out too much drained all his energy… 

March 29, Later

I can't stop laughing. I shouldn't be laughing, but somehow I find this so funny. Volkner was renovating his gym, but there was an accident and he brought down the entire energy grid for Sunyshore City. There isn't going to be power here for days because of it! I'm sure he feels horrible about it, but somehow I'm not surprised that it happened. When I saw him earlier today he told me that he was only changing a light bulb. I'd hate to see how he changes one...

Light bulb indeed.

March 30

Dear Diary,

We finally made our way to Veilstone City! I wish I had a house here; this is my type of town. They have everything from an awesome mall to legalized gambling. I played the slots and managed to make enough money to buy four technical machines! Iggy likes playing the slots with me too. Luckily, they didn't notice him when I walked in and started gaming. Most places don't like it when you bring Pokémon in, at least Pokémon that are outside of their pokeball. I hid him under my new cloak just to be safe. The mall is just as awesome. I got a new cloak and a new formal dress that matches Iggy. Hopefully that will give us an edge next time we compete in a beauty contest. I also bought more technical machines for my Pokémon. Sometimes they just need that extra little bit of help and I want to be prepared to give them the help they need.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. I want to get the ball rolling on my house, but that would involve going back to Oreburgh City and facing Roark. The very thought of that terrifies me. He'll probably be mad that I left without even saying good-bye to his face. Maybe he got mad and destroyed the blueprints in a fit of rage. He could be plotting to get back at me for being so incredibly rude! I just can't go back there yet. I'm not prepared for what could happen. I know Roark seems to be level-headed and nice, but I think that he is more like his father than he lets on. I heard that Byron is a very unpredictable man. I'm willing to bet a lot of money that he is scary when he gets mad. I'm also willing to bet that behind that docile nature and easy-going attitude Roark has a temper that once unleashed could end in a murderous rampage! I enjoy living. Most of the time, at least. But even when I don't enjoy it I don't want it to come to any sort of end. So I'm staying away from Oreburgh City. Far away. I may never go back…

March 31

DD,

Iggy and I are going to Mt. Coronet. We plan on going moon-stone hunting with Shuppet and Caterpie. Don't let the name fool you, Caterpie is actually a Butterfree. He just evolved after I named him, but I didn't change his name. I believe that you stick with the name you are born with, even if some people find that name weird. I know that it adds character to my Pokémon. Pidgeotto loves her name even though she hasn't been a Pidgeotto for years. I also think it's less confusing for the Pokémon. With constant name-changes some Pokémon probably have identity crises. I feel sorry for trainers who constantly change the name of their Pokémon…

I don't know how I got on that tangent. Oh well, it isn't like anybody like me is going to read this. I'd just die if anybody read my precious diary…


	2. April

April 1

Dear Diary,

Mt. Coronet is as awesome as usual. We've already found 6 moon stones! Everybody in the party is also getting some quality training in. I love it here in the caves. It's so much fun just to go spelunking and explore. I also love the beautiful scenery. I wish I knew how to draw or paint. I would love to have some art from these beautiful mountains inside of my house…

Right now I plan on spending a few days on the mountain and then I'll go back to Veilstone City. I've already managed to lose the lemonade I bought for Iggy in my bag and I need to buy him more so he won't get cranky at lunch time. I also think I'll buy a new jacket. Something in gray. Maybe it's all the rocks here in the mountains, but I'm really starting to like the color gray. I really do like my new black cloak, but I saw a woman dressed almost entirely in black when I was on a ledge. I think she had the same cloak as I do and I don't want to invite the comparison… I think I've seen her before on TV, but I don't remember exactly why. Either way, I don't want people to compare me to her because she's probably already better than me in every way. Best to just avoid the mutterings all together...

April 2

DD,

Iggy is missing! I woke up this morning and I was cuddling with a Cleffa instead of my adorable little Iggy! Leon fell asleep while on watch duty and has no idea what happened to Iggy. Tomorrow night I think my Torterra is going to stand watch. He never falls asleep on the job…

I'm worried sick. I wish Roark was here. It was so much easier searching for Iggy when he was with me. With Roark I didn't cry… 

April 2, Later

DD,

I still haven't found Iggy. My watch says that it is nearly midnight so I've stopped for a short break. The Cleffa I woke up with is following me and my team and sometimes I mistake it for Iggy. I have all my pokemon out and searching for Iggy, but we've had no luck. My Shuppet has been doing a great job. It can move through the walls and check rooms much faster than I can, but we still haven't found any signs of Iggy. I hope he's okay… I'll be crushed if he isn't...

April 3

Dear Diary,

I fell asleep on my Torterra's back and had a horrible dream. I dreamt that I saw Iggy in the distance and was running towards him, but before I could grab him the tunnel caved in. It was so horrible. I hope Iggy is okay… I hope I can find him. I hope that he doesn't hate me forever because of my inability to keep him safe. I wish he was here right now… 

April 3, Later

We finally found Iggy. A group of Clefairy stole him. I think they might have mistaken him for a Cleffa… And that Cleffa is still hanging around with me. Iggy doesn't like it, but I think she's cute. I know that Iggy doesn't get along with most other baby pokemon, so I'm not sure if I'll try to catch her. Cleffa didn't seem interested in staying with the group of Clefairy, so maybe I'll let her join my team. Right now I'm just seeing what happens and not letting Iggy out of my sight. I'm so happy that he is finally safe in my arms. I'm still crying; I'm so happy.

April 4

Dear Diary,

Iggy and Cleffa got into a fight this morning. Iggy almost knocked her out, but I grabbed her before he could finish his attack. The poor little thing… She didn't do anything wrong. I decided to catch her; now she's part of the team. Hopefully Iggy won't resent either of us for it… I don't want a repeat of Happini. You'd think that Iggy would be nice to her after what Happini did to him, but I don't think Iggy sees that. I'll keep the little Cleffa until he does learn. I'm convinced that they can get along together.

We're making our way to the base of the mountain. Pidgeotto is too tired from searching to fly me, so I'm going to walk to Veilstone City. It shouldn't be more than two day's walk and I need the exercise. If I ever want to wear a bikini again then I should spend more time getting into shape.

April 5

DD,

We made our way to a small settlement at the foot of the mountain. An old man told me about a shortcut through the forest. He seems nice so I think we're going to try it. He told me that it would cut a day off of the walk to Veilstone City and I'm all for saving time. Besides, going through the trees will give me a chance to train that cute little Cleffa!

April 6

DD,

This forest is incredibly dense and I have been running into more wild pokemon in this brush than there are Zubats in most caves! It seems like every other step I end up in a battle. It's crazy! Iggy stays on my shoulder for protection, and Cleffa is too scared to come out of her pokeball. Right now my Torterra and Leon are doing most of the work.

I know that I'm lost. I don't think this was a shortcut at all, but I want to know why he wanted me in these woods. If things go badly I can just fly out on Pidgeotto, but for now I'm going on. As long as I have Pidgeotto I'll be fine… 

Later

DD,

It's getting close to midnight so we stopped to make camp for the night. We found a clearing that seems safe enough. I let my Mareep out of her pokeball to keep watch for the night. Leon and Torterra are exhausted from so many battles. They deserve a good rest… It's times like these that I wish I had brought Hermit with me. He would teleport me out of here in an instant… Or at least he would talk to me and comfort me while we're lost. I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't cut my losses and leave on Pidgeotto right now...

April 14

DD,

So much has happened… First off, I'm in the hospital right now. There was an explosion… but my God it was such a great adventure! It was scary and awesome and so many things… I don't believe it actually happened. I don't entirely believe that I survived. And now I have hundreds upon hundreds of pokemon eggs to show for it! I need to get back to my farm and hatch them. I can't wait to see what each one holds.

I'll start at the beginning. Some old guy told me about a shortcut to Veilstone City by going through some dense woods. It took some time to find a place where we could squeeze through from the main road, but we followed his directions. We did our best to stay on a straight path, but there were so many random battles that we got lost and spent hours upon hour wondering around. And it was so dark that I didn't notice that it was way past Iggy's bedtime. Near midnight we found a clearing and set up camp. I let my Mareep out of her pokeball and she was keeping watch when I heard a loud roar followed by a crash. It terrified me. I don't like roars. I don't like crashes. I hated how close it all sounded, so Torterra was let out of his pokeball to protect us. It was too dark to fly out on Pidgeotto, so we had to find a way to stand our ground. He was the biggest pokemon I had with me at the time and he was also the strongest. Torterra had a hard time moving beyond the clearing, but he did poke his head through the trees to see if anything was moving towards us. Iggy and I gathered up camp and then we started moving towards the noise.

It wasn't long before we saw it. It was big. It was loud. It was angry. It was a Venusar who happened to be ingrained in a large clearing. He seemed to be in pain and I felt so sorry for him. I would have moved closer to give him some berries, but Torterra took a protective stance in front of me and the other pokemon. It was a good thing he did, because the Venusaur used several powerful attacks that could have really hurt us. They battled, but after only a few moves Torterra was KO'd. As I summoned Torterra back into his pokeball, Iggy stepped in front of the Venusaur. I was so scared when I saw my cute little Igglybuff in front of an angry Venusaur. I was terrified for Iggy; the little guy would literally be crushed if that Venusaur stepped on him. I cried and told him to come back, but he didn't listen. He sang a brave little song and did a cute little dance that lulled the goliath into a deep sleep.

I was crying when I went up to Iggy and held him close. I know he can take care of himself, but he is still just a tiny little bundle of cuddles and fluff. He is just a baby pokemon and babies are not meant for battle, but Iggy has always been ready to jump into the ring. He is without a doubt the most bad-**** Igglybuff ever hatched. And he was all business that night. I was only thinking about holding him close after the near-death experience, but he just motioned to the pokeballs on my belt. I knew he wanted me to catch it so that the Venusaur couldn't attack us later. Several pokeballs later, I managed to catch the beast.

I spent the rest of that night healing up my pokemon. I managed to find a number of herbs in the area that made it easy. When combined with my stock of berries I was able to heal my team up completely. We spent the night propped up on a tree while Torterra kept watch. He wanted to prove himself after being beaten by a Venusaur and I didn't argue. I think it really helped his pride to protect us and know that I trusted him to keep me safe.

Once I woke up, I put Torterra back into his pokeball and brought out Leon. We made our way East from there. After several hours of a surprisingly quiet walk I stopped for lunch. I found it so eerie that last night we couldn't move three steps without encountering a wile pokemon while today we've gone hours without even seeing a single one. And I wondered how that Venusaur had managed to grow so large in such a thick forest. None of it made sense. Now, looking back, I know that the rational thing to do would have been to fly out of there on the wings of my favorite bird-type, but I didn't. I'm not sure if it was the strange happenings in the forest or the fact that I didn't want to return back to Oreburgh City to face Roark, but leaving just didn't seem to be an option.

Anyways, I was pondering the entire situation when we were attacked. A group of Houndoom surrounded our party. I don't know how many there were; I only remember grabbing Iggy and running for my life. I grabbed my bag and ran as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough. I couldn't dodge one Houndoom and it took a chunk out of my left calf. If it weren't for the adrenaline surging through my body I probably would have died right there. That wound is why I'm in the hospital right now. I can heal minor scrapes and cuts, but this was very bad. The doctor says that I might need a surgery because of how deep the teeth went into my flesh. I'm determined to be out in a week. They can't make me stay here, after all. I don't like being in one place for too long… People ask too many questions…

Anyways, after I was bitten I just ran as fast as I could away from the pack of Houndoom. As I was running, I got Pigdeotto's pokeball out and threw it into the air him. He burst out and picked me up with his claws. We flew away from the Houndoom together. From her back, I saw a house that wasn't too far away. Pidgeotto flew me there as I used my cloak to stop my leg from bleeding. I don't clearly remember what happened next, but there were people in the house. They let me in because I woke up in a small room with my leg fully bandaged. But my bag and my pokemon were missing and I was completely alone.

I got up and looked around the room. One door led into a dirty old bathroom and the other was locked. There were no windows or vents in the room, so I just sat there all alone for hours. It was horrible. My mind wondered to scary places… I thought about my life and if I did the right thing when I ran away as a child. I screamed for help and cried for Iggy and all my other missing pokemon. I thought about what was going to happen to me in the place. The strange thing is, no matter what I thought about my mind kept finding its way to Roark. I feel so bad about how I just left. I shouldn't have cared what that kid thought. Sometimes I wonder why I care what other people think of me. It isn't like I spend time trying to be popular or even social. Roark is the only human friend I've had in years. I really like him, but even now I'm not sure if I like him in a romantic way. I don't think I've ever liked anybody that way and I have no clue what I'm even looking for. Not that it matters. I'm sure that he's tired of me acting this way. I'm sure he'll find somebody who won't just leave. I know he can find somebody who makes him happy. But I do often wonder what will happen to me. Will I ever get married? Will I ever have kids? Then again the two aren't mutually exclusive. I know my mom wasn't married, and I don't think any of my aunts were married either… But that is an entire entry in itself…

I was in that room for an eternity. I wish I had you; if you were in that room with me then I wouldn't have been alone. When I heard footsteps in the hall I was ecstatic. I was a bit nervous when I heard the door opening, but that those feelings turned into shock when I saw who it was. Wes. Wesley was standing in the door. He smiled in his usual way and came over to the bed. He looked so strange now that he was older. It had been years since I'd seen him and I didn't even want to think of the person I was back then. Honestly, I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that obnoxious grin. Wes told me that he was disappointed in how I handled the Houndoom. He told me that the old man was working for him and that this entire situation was there to test me and other candidates. I didn't understand any of what he said at the time... I just told him to give me back my pokemon and let us leave. He just laughed, threw a pokeball at me, and then left the room. I hate Wes so much. He hasn't changed at all since we last met and I can honestly say I'm not surprised. He bought into their propaganda more than any of the rest of us. And that superiority complex always boiled my blood. He is the most infuriating human being I have ever met.

I don't want to leave on such a bad note, but my head is pounding. I will write more tomorrow. I have nothing better to do while I'm stuck in this hospital...

April 15

Dear Diary,

An annoying reporter from some TV station keeps trying to interview me. I've told the hospital that I don't want cameras anywhere near me dozens of times, but that reporter keeps finding her way into my room. It makes me wanna scream. I feel like I'm on display at a museum. The police have questioned me twice and the doctors and nurses are all very nosy. I just want to relax and heal but they keep asking me about what happened. I even caught one reading my diary! Overall it just makes me sick. I hate being here and if things don't improve I'm leaving.

Now, to get back to how I got into this 'hospital'… My lovely Leon was inside of the pokeball Wes threw at me. The fiery little guy greeted me with a hug and I told him what was going on. When I had finished, I didn't hear anything and decided that I wasn't going to sit around and be bested by Wes. I got up and my leg started to pulsate and burn. The bandages started to turn red… I could tell that it was a bad bite and that it would only get worse if I didn't get out of this place. I put Leon back in his pokeball because it seemed the stealthier thing to do, even though part of me yearned to keep the familiar face with me. I left the room shortly after and went exploring. There wasn't much of note. A library, a kitchen, a piano room… The house was very big. I stumbled into the foyer early on. I looked out a window and saw several Houndoom pacing in front of the main entry doors. I looked at them and thought that my one Charmeleon wouldn't have a chance in battle, so I kept moving. Eventually I wound up in the attic. There wasn't much up there either, but I saw something shiny on a shelf. It was too high for me to reach, so I let Leon out of his pokeball to give me a boost. I saw that it was a key but it was just out of our reach. I asked Leon if he could lift me a little bit higher. I was just about to grab the key when I heard Leon scream out in pain. I looked down and saw a Seviper taking a bite out of my only pokemon. Leon immediately scratched it and then used flamethrower to finish it off while I was dangling from the shelf. I had some nasty splinters after that… And Leon was poisoned. Neither of us complained about our wounds; I think that we both felt too sorry for the other to really care about our own wounds. Out reward was the shiny object: a strangely-shaped key.

I felt horrible about not being able to cure Leon on the spot. If I had my bag then I could have whipped up some berries for him to eat and it would have cured him instantly. I feel so bad that he had to go through so much pain. It was at least three or four hours before the poison wore off… Leon has always been such a trooper. He didn't complain once about what happened. I see so much of myself in him sometimes. On the outside he's stoic but I know that there are swirls of emotion on the inside. I know that's how I act. Sometimes I wish people would see the real me and not just the person I project, but then I remember my childhood and those wishes disappear… Sometimes it's easier to just be cold to the world… but sometimes I wonder if easy is the best way… Am I a coward for wanting to be left alone?

Leon and I had a hard time finding the door our newly found key belonged to. We wondered all around the mansion for hours and hours… It seemed like a maze. Sometimes it felt like something would brush against my shoulder, and every few minutes Leon would jump or use his flamethrower attack in one direction. It was terrifying. I questioned our sanity more than once… But we kept moving forward. We fought for each step together. Me with my leg wound and Leon's poisoning it wasn't easy but we did it together. It really made us grow closer. I think we had this silent understanding that if we were going crazy we were going to do it together.

Somehow we managed to find a different room. I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew for a fact that we had been down that hall at least six times. It wasn't there any of the other times, but then it just appeared. I know that it makes no sense, but at the same time I know that it appeared out of nowhere. We entered the room and saw a small table with some shiny objects. I thought they were more keys, so I started walking towards them. As soon as I stepped ahead of Leon something grabbed me. It lifted me up to the ceiling and then dropped me to the ground. I hit my head and my memory is a bit blurry, but I'm about 90% sure that Leon KO'd whatever attacked me. I remember seeing his flamethrower attack and lots of dark swirls. It was very weird… By the time I got my bearings it was over with. Leon saved the day!

The table was burnt and I couldn't find any of the shiny objects on top of it. But there was a door on the far side of the room. The key from the attack fit! The door opened into a small passage that led into a courtyard. Leon wouldn't let me go first this time. It was so cute how chivil- 

April 15, Later

Roak is here! He came to visit me! I'm so happy. It was great just to see his face again. And he gave me a hug! It seemed like it would last forever. He just wouldn't let go and I wouldn't either. It was amazing. I loved it so, so much. I didn't realize how much I missed him. Oh Roark, why did I ever leave? I never knew a hug from you would feel so good. I wish he could have stayed all day, but they made him leave at 8. Apparently visiting hours end then… Only family could stay. He joked that he might just have to marry me so that he can stay as long as he wants next time. It made me blush! I don't know if he noticed or not, but I felt my entire face get hot. And I never blush! Never! Oh, it was amazing.

He was so nice. He said that he was worried and that he heard my name on the news. He told me that he came here the moment he found out where I was. It was great to talk to him. He didn't even push me to tell him everything that happened. He seemed so happy and that made me so happy. I don't remember the last time that happened with another human. I felt this way about my pokemon countless times. It's hard to be sad when Iggy is around. Iggy is happiness. He makes everybody smile and he is so cute. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for Iggy. I wish I could spend all day with him...

I gave Roark my bag to take care of. I told him to be extra careful because it has a bunch of pokemon eggs in it. He looked at me strangely and then looked in the bag. It was funny his reaction. He asked me how my small little bag could hold so much. I told him to never mess with a woman's purse. I also gave him Iggy. I've had his pokeball with me since I got checked into the hospital. He hates being inside of the pokeball, but he understands that there are times when he has to be in there. They are very strict about people not having their pokemon around if they are disruptive, and Iggy kept knocking over my IV stand when he was bouncing around. It was really cute, but the nurse didn't think so… She is so mean. At least I know that Iggy will be happy with Roark. He'll be safe too, and that's what matters the most.

It's pretty late… I should get to bed. Roark promised to visit me first thing in the morning. I can't wait! I can't wait for another one of his hugs.

April 16

DD,

Roark was here again! He told me that some reporters hassled him after he left the hospital yesterday. He said that they all want to be the first to know what happened at the mansion. I saw what Officer Jenny said on the news last night. Apparently there was nothing left of the mansion or the laboratory once they extinguished the fire and I was the only person who knows anything. I want to tell them everything, but I know that would only lead to problems. As much as I hate Wes and want to see him face justice, I know that if he is captured he would spill the beans on me. The last thing I need is for people to know about my past… Besides, part of me still thinks that he is confused and maybe what I said got through to him. He might be able to turn his life around like I did and stop being a pawn in G- his game…. I want him to be good. I don't know why, but I feel some loyalty to him and the others... After all we went through together back in Kanto I shouldn't be surprised…

I'm looking back the past few pages and I didn't finish telling you what happened. The key opened up into a courtyard. It was eerily quiet at first. I found and picked some herbs. Green, red, and blue herbs. I remember my grandmother had a small window box with the blue one. I think she said it cured poison. The red one had a very strong smell to it; it seemed like a strong healing herb. The green ones are quite common in the forests around here. When I first came to Sinnoh an old lady told me that they can be used for healing if you crush them. I grabbed a fair amount so that Leon and I had something to fall back on. I mixed the green and red herb together and gave some to Leon. He seemed to regain all his stamina and was much perkier. I was picking and crushing a few more when I heard some growls. I was the Houndoom again. They were in a formation around Leon and I. We looked at each other and then Leon started to fight.

Charmeleon was awesome. I never saw any pokemon do what he did. I did my best to give him cues and commands, but 99% of what Leon did was just him being an awesome improviser. I think that's why I'm a good trainer. I have pokemon that can take care of themselves and that have enough common sense to go on without my constant guidance. They're powerful enough to fight on their own, but each one is also strong enough to be part of the team. I'm very proud of Leon. He protected me when he could have easily just protected himself. He was injured, but I was able to heal him with the herbs in the courtyard. We decided to rest a bit too. I needed a nap because it had been such an exhausting quest…

Come to think of it, I'm a bit tired now too. I'm going to take a nap and finish this later… 

April 16, Later

I woke up to Roark running his fingers through my hair. It seems so strange and a little weird, but I really liked it. It was so incredibly sweet of him to just do that and watch me sleep… If most other people did that I would find it creepy, but for Roark to do it… it's indescribable. I didn't want to open my eyes because I knew he would stop if he knew I was awake. But all good things must come to an end…

I wonder why he treats me this way. I don't really think I deserve it in any way. Since we've met, I've managed to bruise his arm, break his hat, worry him sick, rip his coat, and run away for no good reason on two different occasions. Most men would just cut their losses after the bruised arm, but for some reason he is still here after all if it. He was at my bedside for almost the entire day. In fact, he seemed happy just knowing that I was alive and well. He told me that some things are more important than work. He said that I was one of those things. And then he kissed me. Roark kissed me! It was the most amazing kiss I have ever had. I blushed so much afterward and he did a little bit too. It was great. I wish he had kissed me earlier, to be honest. Just think of how amazing a kiss in on that ledge on Iron Island would be… The serene sky above, the turbulent sea below, and soft grass all around... I can't think of a better place for another kiss.

I wonder where things go from here. How do you know if you're somebody's girlfriend? Do they ask? Does it just happen after you've spent time together? I've never understood the entire concept. I wonder if Roark wants me to be his girlfriend. If he asked I would definitely say yes. He is a great guy and I am so lucky to have him as my friend. No, he's more than a friend. Crush maybe? No, a crush is one-sided and he obviously feels something towards me. It's so hard to find the right word for what Roark means to me… Hopefully I will know tomorrow. Hopefully…

I suppose I should get back to what happened in the courtyard. Leon battled like a real champion and knocked out all the Houndoom. I was so proud of him. He really went above and beyond. I didn't use him and train with him as much as I should have, but he really used the training he had to be a very effective pokemon. We rested and healed after the battle and then we explored the courtyard.

There wasn't much. The only thing of note was a waterfall. Leon was wary of it. He hates water. Well duh, he's a fire pokemon. But even for a fire type he has an aversion to the stuff. I tried to joke with him a bit and kicked a small rock into it to show it was harmless. That's when we noticed there was a space behind the waterfall. I went through first and then he quickly followed. It was a inlet and then a ladder down into a cave. Leon went first. His tail lit her way through the caves. It was almost as maze-like as the mansion, but there were more traps. Every now and then a Golem would just come charging down the tunnel and we'd have to find an off-shoot so we wouldn't get crushed. It was scary and made it hard to keep track of where we had been. Somehow we found a door. It was a big, heavy steel door and it was unlocked.

Once again, Leon insisted on going through the door first. He motioned for me to follow and we shut the door behind us. The last thing I needed was a Golem charging us in an even more cramped corridor. Even with the precaution, it didn't take long for us to find more hostile pokmeon. At least this time they were at a type disadvantage. Some Carnivine were crammed into a one hall. And with only two flamethrower attacks, Leon was able to knock them all out and clear a path for us to follow. At the far end there was a black door. It was a stark contrast to the white hall and I knew that our destiny was behind it.

Leon and I went through the door the Carnevine were guarding. It was a sterile room. I remember a distinct smell… It's hard to describe. I suppose "hospital smell" comes close. But somehow it was emptier than that… It was very weird. The room was weird too. It didn't have any equipment. It was just white floors, white walls, metal countertops, and a few sinks. There were four doors total, one on each wall. I asked Leon which one looked lucky. He shrugged and pointed towards the one to our left. We went through and there he was. It was Wes.

Wes mocked me. He said that the time it took me to get there was pathetic. And then he had the gall to slap me! Charmeleon used his flamethrower attack on Wes, but it didn't do much damage. Wes only laughed and made him return to a pokeball he pulled out of his pocket. He said that he was wearing a protective shield that his laboratory had been developing. He explained how busy he had been since we parted ways back in Kanto. He told me about how he had this lab built. I just didn't understand how he could get the money for such a place. And then the most shocking thing of all happened. The daycare couple entered the room from a small elevator.

I was shocked! The daycare couple… They seemed so nice. I saw many people leave their pokemon with them when I was visiting Solaceon Town. I remember seeing the little kids hanging on the fence and looking at the pokemon frolicking around. I remember talking to the old man by the fence. He said that people left their pokemon with them and then paid by every level they increased. $100 per level he told me… He said it was good, honest work. He also said that pokemon would occasionally be found holding eggs. He seemed so nice… But in reality he was pure evil.

The daycare couple were using their "daycare" as a front to an evil empire. Their real business was using the pokemon people left in their care to do genetic experiments. They told me about how they managed to combine the DNA of a Skitty and Wailord to create a stronger pokemon. They apparently did this all the time and were able to create super-pokemon through their genetic meddling. The old man said that they would give the reject eggs back to the trainer who left their pokemon with them. Nobody ever questioned what they did because they were too happy to get a pokemon egg... Even though it has never been proven that all pokemon lay eggs.

Wes said they were his business partners. They brought in the money and he used his expertise to splice the genetic code of the pokemon they brought to him. He said that they've made millions selling their enhanced pokemon and that he even managed to create an egg from a legendary pokemon. I had no idea that Wes could do such a thing. I never saw him as truly evil like Gio- the boss. I always thought that Wes was like me and just got caught up in the glamour and promises… Now I know that I was wrong. Now I know the truth about Wes…

After elaborately telling me all about their evil plan, Wes told me that he was going to show me the most terrifying of their creations. A creature he said would take over the world through its sheer will and power. I was scared. Wes dangled the pokeball in front of my face and told me that the pokemon inside was evil incarnate. He said it was the culmination of all the genetic experiments and genetic mutations he had spent years on. And then he let it out. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it. It was so… cute. It was a Blissey. I didn't see how a Blissey could take over the world. They have a lot of stamina, but they are so kind that they would offer one of their healing eggs to any pokemon they hurt. Something about her made me uneasy…

Wes grabbed me and took me into a bigger room. The daycare couple followed along, snickering amongst themselves. He said that he wanted to test out his creation and he knew that I would give him a good battle. He kicked the wound on my leg and I screamed out in pain. He threw some pokeballs at me then laughed before walking to the other side of the room. I saw from the seals on the pokeballs that they were from my team and I knew that the one with hearts was Iggy. I know that Iggy wouldn't listen to me if I put him up against a Blissey, so I let Leon out of his pokeball first.

I was amazed at the power of his Blissey. She managed to KO all but one of my pokemon with what seemed like ease. She… She was scary. She was like nothing I had ever seen before… I was down to my last pokeball. Iggy's pokeball. I knew that he would be cranky from being stuck in his pokeball for so long. I knew that he wouldn't listen to my commands when he went up against the Blissey. I knew that it was very risky… but I had no choice. I let Iggy out. At first he gave me a hug and did a cute little dance that made me smile. But then he saw Wes and the Blissey.

Long story short, Iggy kicked ****** and took names. He went into a crazy Igglybuff rage and took it all out on the Blissey. He was small enough that he managed to evade all of her attacks too. Wes and the daycare couple looked stunned at the raw power Iggy possessed. They didn't believe that an Igglybuff could knock out their tyrant Blissey. Wes was very angry. He thought that nothing could stop his uber-pokemon.

I was so busy watching Iggy that I didn't notice the daycare couple had left. By the time the battle was over, Wes was laughing hysterically. He said that he wouldn't let me win that way. He said that he was going to kill me and Iggy so that he could take over the world… Wes was crazy. I knew better than to mess with crazy people. I took Iggy and ran through the nearest door.

The room I stumbled upon was very, very interesting. The first thing I noticed was my bag on a table. The second thing I noticed were hundreds upon hundreds of eggs. The entire building shook suddenly and a voice filled the room… "This facility will self destruct in fifteen minutes. Please evacuate the building." Over and over again, slowly counting down… Red lights started flashing and all I could think about was all the poor baby pokemon stuck inside of those eggs. Iggy and I looked at each other and went to work. Iggy left to scout a route out of the building. I hurried and put every single egg into my bag. When Iggy returned and started pulling me away I was saving the last few dozen eggs.

Iggy and I hurried through the facility. It is such a blur. I was running as fast as I could with my bad leg and Iggy was bouncing through the hall just ahead of me. I trusted Iggy to get us out of there alive and he delivered. There was one minute left when we reached the elevator. Our time in the elevator seemed to last an eternity. It was so slow and we had no time… I thought we were going to die. I hugged Iggy and he smiled at me as if to say "It isn't over yet, why are you doing this?". He is so awesome like that. He never gives up… I wish I could have been that brave.

We made it out with just enough time for me to let Pidgeotto out of her pokeball. I grabbed Iggy and jumped on and told her to fly as far away as she could as fast as she could. She was hurt from the battle, but she saved our lives by getting us out of there. That's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital. We all survived. Pidgeotto was just fine. I think Iggy and I got thrown from her back in the explosion. It's the only thing that makes sense, really… The police officers told me that I was found unconscious in the woods outside of the building and that an Igglybuff riding on a Pidgeot were found searching for me from the air. Apparently Iggy attacked several officers that were trying to help me. I couldn't help but laughing when they told me that. It's such an Iggy thing to do.

I saw on the news that the daycare couple have disappeared. Their daycare is closed now… I hope that all the pokemon are okay after what they went through in their care. I wonder if the daycare couple in Kanto are evil too...

I think that I'll tell Officer Jenny what happened. I'll tell the truth, but I think that I'll leave out Wes. The daycare couple seemed to be the ones running the show, so it would be the right thing to do. As for Wes… I hope that our paths never cross again. I hope that he leaves this place and never returns…

It feels good to get it all down on paper. I suppose extra writing time is the only good thing about being in this hospital...

April 17

Dear Diary,

Roark visited again today. That annoying reporter got a few pictures of us hugging. If I see them on the news then I'm going to scream… I don't see why she has to keep bugging me! It's driving me crazy. And today I also had to deal with the police questioning me. They said that Roark could stay and that made it easier. My doctors was there too. He said that if I got too upset he would make them leave because I can't heal if I'm under too much stress. He's very worried about my bite. It isn't healing as fast as it should and he's worried about infection. I like him because when he sees a reporter he has them taken out by security. The nurses don't care, in fact I think they're being paid by the reporters to dig through my things. In the news last night I heard some things that were in my diary on the news… It made me so angry. At least Roark was there for me. He held me when I started crying. He told me that everything was going to be okay… I don't know what I'd do without him. Probably have a nervous break-down of some sort. Or go crazy. So it's a good thing he's here.

I might need another surgery. The doctor said that he's going to give it another day to see if it is going to heal on its own or if there is an infection brewing. He also changed up some of the medicine I'm getting. Oh, and he told me to just call him Trent. And he winked at me. It was weird, but I think he meant it in the old-guy type of way. You know, not like an "I like you" type of way but more the "I'm joking, I'm just a harmless old man" type of way. I think almost every town has at least one old guy who goes around winking at people. It really makes me wonder what the world was like fifty years ago… Not that he's OLD old. But maybe the weirdness of the era of his youth rubbed off on him. Or maybe I'm over analyzing the situation… Either way, I like him as a doctor. If Roark wasn't around then he would be the person here in the hospital that I trust the most. And he looks so familiar. I just can't quite place his face…

It is so great to have so many people supporting me. I don't know how I lived before. I was always just alone and didn't even try to talk to people. I suppose that I've come a long way since I met Roark. He's really helped me grow and realize that I won't get hurt if I open up to people. I always felt that way because of what happened at the training center, but things are different here than they were in Kanto. I really like it here. I think I want to stay. I want to build my house and run my farm and be happy here in Sinnoh. But my farm is so far from Roark… He has so many things that tie him down to Oreburgh City. Once my ranch is running I would have just as many reasons to stay… I don't know that it would really work out between us now that I think about it. He can't give up his job at the mine. He loves it there. He has a real passion for what he does. He cares about every single man in those mines as if they were family and he puts their safety above his own. And he has such a deep connection with fossils. I remember seeing it from afar when Iggy and I first went up the mountain to train and thought it was weird, but as I look back I think I understand. He's such a great guy… Someday he'll make some girl very happy. I just don't think that girl is me. Oreburgh City is a long way from Flouroma Town… His life would be along way from mine and I don't think a relationship can work that way…

I should stop raining on my own parade… The past few days I've been so happy to have Roark and now I wish he had never come here. I wish I had thought things through earlier because I don't want to hurt Roark. He doesn't deserve it… 

April 17, Later

I need to get out of here. Wes came in the night and I'm afraid of what he might do to me… He knows people in the hospital. They let him into my room. They helped him… I write this as I cry. I wish Roark had never left when visiting hours ended. I wish he was here to protect me…

April 18

DD,

Roark is going to help me. I told him that I would tell him everything when we got back to Oreburgh City and he promised to help me. He's gone now, but he's going to come back with Pidgeotto and everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay… Roark is going to help me escape and everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay... 

LATER?

Dear Diary

I'm in a different room. I don't know how I got here or where I am. It's very dark and my head hurts so much. There is just enough to see the lines on the diary pages and to make out what I'm writing… I'm scared. I don't think I've felt this way in a long time… just the pure terror and helplessness of not knowing… That is what I fear most. I've been in control of my life for so long and now it's all gone. I feel sick. I'm too scared to leave this bed. I wish Roark was here… I wonder what happened to him… I hope he isn't in any danger. If he is then it is all my fault and he'll leave me for sure…

I know Wes is behind this. I don't understand why he's doing this to me. We hadn't spoken in years before he showed up here in Sinnoh. Now it feels like he's my shadow… just lurking there and waiting to strike…. I hate him so much for this. I wish he would leave me alone. I wish he had died in the accident back in Kanto.

April 19?

Dear Diary,

I'm so hungry… I wonder if they've forgotten about me. My IV ran dry yesterday and I took it out. I also checked on my leg wound. It's looking worse every time I look at it… I wish I had something proper to dress it with, but I had to make due with tearing up some bed sheets. I left my bed and the room has only the door. The normal lights don't work, but there are a few that emit a tiny amount into my room... I'm considering seeing if I can escape through the ceiling. I'm just trying to figure out how to get a bit higher. I'm quite short and even standing on the bed I don't quite reach… This is just about the only time I've honestly wished that I was as tall as everybody else in my family. 

LATER

I am awesome. Well, half awesome, but half awesome is better than no awesome. I made an epic escape from my room. But that isn't why I am awesome. I used my IV pole to move the ceiling foam tiles and then I used it to climb up into the electrical crawl space. I went in a direction that I though led out of my room; the wall ran all the way up in some areas but not in all of them, so I moved to what would have been the wall behind my bed. I only moved about 20 feet before I fell through the ceiling. Luckily, I feel right on top of Roark. Although I don't think he found it lucky at all…

The moment I saw how Roark broke my fall, I couldn't help but think of how much it reminded me of when we met. It was back in Oreburgh City… God, how ironic. That morning I was training my pokemon in the mountains. Iggy and I took a break around noon to rest and cuddle. He and Ned, my Eevee, were playing in the rocky terrain while I was looking at a map of Sinnoh. Suddenly, I heard Iggy squeal and I went running. Unfortunately, I wasn't looking where I was going and I ran off of a small ledge. My momentum carried me off of several more small ledges. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best… And then I stopped tumbling down the mountain. I opened my eyes and saw that I had landed on this cute guy with a mining helmet. I didn't have enough sense to get off of him, but he was strong enough to sit me beside him.

I was dizzy, felt like crap, and had bruises all over my body… Roark wasn't much better off. There was one nasty looking bruise on his arm and I broke the light on his helmet. He introduced himself and asked how a lady like me came to land on a guy like him. I said that I had no idea, and then Iggy came bouncing down between us. He took one look at Roark and puffed up. I grabbed him before he could attack, but I knew that Iggy would have gone ballistic on him if I hadn't grabbed him away… Iggy is very protective of me like that. He would defend me against a raging herd of Tauros and think nothing of it afterwards. We're so close…

I apologized to Roark for everything and went to stand up, but I got so dizzy after standing that I nearly fainted. Roark caught me before I hit the ground; at least that's how he tells it. I can't really remember a lot of what happened, but I trust Roark. I don't see why he would lie about that story. I remember him telling his dad about it when we were in Iron Island.

Unfortunately for me, the second time I fell on top of Roark was much more embarrassing.. I was only wearing a thin little hospital gown, and it kinda ripped when I fell through the ceiling… I think part of it got caught on the metal frame of the ceiling that I was trying to keep my weight on when moving through the crawl space… I blushed when I noticed it wasn't covering all… It's just that Roark noticed that before I did… He was a real gentleman and gave me his gray coat to wear. And I didn't see him staring at me overly much. I mean, he took a look at me and then offered me his coat and then I turned red because I realized why he offered me his coat… It was so embarrassing. Sometimes I feel like a total dork when I'm around Roark. It feels like every bit of refinement and grace I had leaves my body when he is around. It drives me crazy and makes me feel like a school girl all over again.

After the surprise of finding each other, Roark told me how he would up in this room. He and Iggy went to get my bag and several of my other pokemon from the hotel he was staying at. When they came back, he saw the nurses and the doctor rushing me away from my room. He tried to confront them and ask them where they were taking me, but then he blacked out. He didn't remember anything more, but I'm willing to bet it was Wes and Trent. Come to think of it, Trent looks a lot like Wes… That would explain so much...

You know, I don't really remember why I am awesome anymore… But I do know that I feel better. I'm not alone anymore. It's nice to have somebody to cuddle with, even if that somebody isn't Iggy… I hope the little guy is okay.

April 20?

Dear Diary,

Roark asked me about you today. I said that I've been writing it for a while and that it was for my eyes only. He got this playful look in his eyes, so I have a feeling he might try to read you. Don't you dare give out any of my secrets!

And Roark, when you read this please know that I am only pretending to sleep and that I am, in fact, about to make you pay.

LATER

He did read you, but I tackled him to the ground. I hope he didn't read any of the good stuff… I'm guessing not, he's just being the same old Roark. I don't know how, but he can make me smile even though we're in this bad situation. It's great. I never knew that I could smile and laugh so much with another person. There is something magnetic about Roark that I absolutely love. It's like he brings me alive, if that makes any sense.

The second best part of this room is that it has food… The one I was stuck in was empty. This one seems to be a supply closet or pantry of sorts… It's weird. The only edible things around here are old sea rations. They taste bad, but at least I'm not hungry after munching down on one. Roark makes me eat more than I want to eat. He says that I need it, especially since my leg is hurt. I told him that they taste like crap and I can only handle so much before I gag. But he gives me this look and I just can't say no… I wish I knew that look. You know, the guilt look. My mom never had it, but my grandmother did. I hated getting it from her. She never did it unless I disappointed her… Usually after mom and I would get into a fight. I miss her so much. I wonder what she would think of my life… I'm sure she'd give me the look. I'm sure she'd make me feel guilty for no going into the family trade…

I never want to leave Roark. I think that I lov-

April 22

DD,

Roark is my hero! He saved me and brought me back to the relative safety of Oreburgh City. It's been a wild ride since I last wrote, but an amazing one at that. I'll make sure to write it all down later. I just feel like writing it down now because my head is spinning. Roark said something to me today. Something I just… I hope I didn't hear him wrong. He said "I love you" and kissed me. I just didn't have a chance to compute it all and I wish I could have said something, but he just said it and kissed me before I knew what was going on. Afterwards he stroked my cheek and look into my eyes… Neither of us could stop grinning. It was perfect, absolutely perfect, until the doctor came in and said he was ready to work on my leg wound. Roark stayed with me and held my hand. It didn't hurt much, but my leg looks really bad... Right now Roark is sleeping on a chair next to my bed with Iggy as a make-shift pillow. It's absolutely adorable…

The doctor, a REAL doctor this time, said I would have to stay at the hospital until the infection was under control. As things are now, it'll be a few days or even weeks… I know my fair share of medicine and I know my leg is bad. It's gotten so painful in the last few days that I could barely walk on it. I'm lucky that Roark is so strong… I guess all those years working in the mines really paid off for him. He really doesn't look muscular, but he can pick me up as easily as I can pick up Iggy. He just isn't body-builder buff and muscular like those creepy old guys at the Combee Inn... That can only be a good thing.

I feel better now that I've gotten all that out of me. I think I can write about what happened now. Back in Veilstone City, Roark and I were suck in that room together. It seemed like forever, but the last time I was writing we heard a commotion in the room I started out in. I freaked out a little bit and Roark stood up and took a protective stance between me and the door. Wes burst through the door seconds later... The light was so bright and my eyes didn't adjust at first, but I could tell from his voice that Wes was very angry… He yelled at me for leaving my room. He said that he would kill me if I ever pulled something like that again. It was so confusing. He came towards me, and Roark threw a punch at him. Wes was out cold… I didn't really believe it. Wes was alone, so we just locked him in the room. Wes had my bag with him so I grabbed it just before Roark grabbed my hand so we could make a run for it.

The halls were completely empty, save the occasional door. We tried them all but not a single one would budge. Every last one of them was locked. After we hit a dead end, I told Roark that I was a complete dolt. I ruffled through my bag and got Hermit's pokeball. Roark had brought Hermit with him when he came to visit me in the hospital. I let Hermit out of his pokeball and smiled. Hermit, my Alakazam, knows how to use teleport. He is truly awesome. I asked Hermit to teleport us to Oreburgh City and he nodded. Then poof! We were there; just outside of the Oreburgh City pokemon center. I thanked Hermit and gave him a hug for saving the day.

It was near midnight in Oreburgh and the streets were deserted. I was happy for that, since I was only wearing Roark's jacket and a torn hospital gown. The last thing I wanted was to be teleported into the middle of a busy street when looking so disheveled and under-clothed… I would die from embarrassment. I would be forced to leave Sinnoh and change my name, hair color, and everything about me in a vain attempt at living a moderately normal life after such an event. I'm quite modest about my body and the last thing I need is dozens of eyes on me when I'm wearing practically nothing. It's bad enough that Roark saw me that way earlier… God, I can't even think about it without getting sick to my stomach!

Roark and I started walking to his house when I tripped. I don't think my leg hurt as much since the Houndoom bit me back in the forest. I couldn't put any weight on it, so Roark ended up carrying me the rest of the way. He didn't even break miss a beat; he just swooped me up and kept walking like it was nothing. It was really great. Roark is so strong, physically and mentally. He's my rock. Roark is my rock. I don't know how I ever lived without him.

When he finally put me down, I went through my bag and found Iggy's pokeball. I let the little fluff out and we cuddled. It had been such a long time since we'd seen each other. I think it was the longest time we've been apart since we met when he was a wee little egg. Roark laughed when Iggy gave him a hug too. The three of us fell asleep on Roark's couch.

In the morning Roark took me to the hospital. I had extra clothes in my bag which I changed into the moment it entered my mind... Unfortunately, that wasn't until the morning... if I wasn't such a dolt I would have changed the moment I got my bag back. Somehow I seem to be very forgetful around Roark. It's very out of character for me. I usually have a photographic memory when it comes to everything, but around him it's like I can only live in the moment... Anyways.. even though I could put weight on my bad leg, Roark insisted on carrying me to the hospital. He didn't even give me a chance to say no; Roark just swept me off my feet and started walking.

I'm quite tired now, so I'll write more tomorrow. I think I remembered everything that happened in the past few days…

April 23

Dear Diary,

Roark has a stress fracture in his arm. I told him that it was because he was carrying me too much and I'm fat. We spent several hours going back and forth on that issue, and neither of us is backing down on it. He is surprisingly stubborn when he wants to be. Pity he doesn't understand that I never lose an argument. But I'm sure he'll learn that eventually. Despite anything he may think, being the Oreburgh City gym leader doesn't make him all-knowing.

I want to go home with Roark. He stays with me in the hospital when he isn't working at the mine or battling at the gym, but it's very lonely when he isn't around. At least I have Iggy, but he's been going through an "I'm too cool for my trainer" phase lately. I hope it isn't because of my relationship with Roark… I love Iggy very much and I never want him to think that I don't love him. Iggy has always had a problem with me getting close to anybody but him. Whether it was a pokemon or a person, Iggy gets very jealous and often attacks them. He's gotten better in recent years, but I worry about it so very much.

My leg is getting a bit better. It's still very painful, but it isn't as icky anymore. I'm on some antibiotics right now, so hopefully they'll kick in and I can be over this before too long. 

April 23, Later

I'm very restless today, but at the same time I've been very tired. It's very hard to explain. I know that my body needs to stay in this bed, but my mind wants to get up and move. I want to do jumping jacks and sing at the top of my lungs, but at the same time I want to cuddle and nap with Iggy. I think my mind and my body are at odds… But it all comes down to wants versus needs and you know how that always ends with me.

I'm lucky that writing in you doesn't take much energy. Sometimes it's the only thing to do in this hospital. Without you I think I'd feel very lonely. I've been going back and reading past entries and remembering all the great things that have happened to me before I got here. Maybe I'll write more about other things that have happened… This morning something Roark said reminded me of back home in Vermillion…

I was delivering some berries and herbs to my mom when I ran into Lt. Surge. He laughed at me when he saw that my only two pokemon were Iggy and Happiny. No… This just doesn't feel right… Maybe I'll write about that stuff another day…

April 24

DD,

It's raining outside today. I can hear it and see it out the window, but what I really want to do is go outside and feel it. It's been a long time since I've been caught in a rain storm. Iggy loves the rain. Right now he's moping by the window sill. I won't let him go outside alone and Roark isn't around, so Iggy is very sad. I feel bad about it, but I don't want any harm to come of my Iggy. I wish I had enough energy to keep up with him, but even when I'm at 100% it's hard to keep him under control. With my leg the way it is, I'd say I'm operating at about 60%, so I've got a ways to go.

Come to think of it, Roark is usually here by now. I hope that nothing bad happened in the mine... I don't know what I'd do if something bad happened to Roark… 

April 24, Later

Dear Diary,

I found out why Roark was so late. Byron came to Oreburgh City for a visit. He said that he was worried when the news reported that Roark and I had disappeared from Veilstone City. We told Byron that we used Hermit to teleport to Oreburgh City because of the reporters hassling us. He seemed to understand. We were talking about what happened at the mansion when the doctor came in. He shooed Roark and Byron out and closed the door. I was worried… I grabbed Iggy and held him in my lap. The doctor said he got the results back on my blood analysis. He told me that the infection hadn't spread to my blood stream and that he might let me leave the hospital tomorrow. I'm so happy! I can't wait to tell Roark. I'm sure it will give him a bit of a boost.

Roark has looked so down the past few days… He must be stretched pretty thin. Between the gym and his job at the mine he is busy, and adding me in there makes things chaotic. Put me in the hospital and it's probably too much for one man to handle. Even so, I haven't heard him complain once... It's amazing how strong Roark has been the past several weeks. Even with his arm in a sling, he just keeps on going like nothing is wrong.

April 25

Dear Diary,

I'm at Roark's house right now! Yay! No more hospitals for me. I have some antibiotics I need to take every day and I need to keep the dressing on my leg fresh, but I get to do it all from the comfort of Roark's bachelor pad. Of course, I say that in the most loving way possible. It isn't that his house isn't nice, it's just that nothing matches.

Roark has been positively giddy since he got to bring me home. The doctor told him to keep a close eye on me so that I wouldn't get into any more trouble. I blushed and Roark said he'd do his best. Well… Okay, he said a bit more than that. The doctor, that is. The doctor said something along the lines of "You keep that girl of yours out of trouble. The next time I see her in here it'd better be because you're having a baby." I freaked out a bit inside and my fact turned very red… It was weird. What is it about this town and everybody thinking that we're going to have kids? Do they think I'm that type of girl? Do I seem like that type of girl to you? Is this just how people are in this town?

I've gone through this in my head about a million times… I just don't see why people are constantly making baby references with me and Roark. I wonder if he's been saying things about me… He does work in a coal mine… I'll have to send a ghost pokemon to spy on him and see if he is saying anything that is inspiring these rumors… I do have a Shuppet, after all…

April 26

Dear Diary,

Byron left today. I was sad to see him go; Iggy was just starting to warm up to him. Or maybe it's the other way around… Iggy has always had a fascination with Byron's hair. I wish I knew why... I'm guessing it's the spikes, but you can never be sure with Iggy….

Roark seems sad to see him go, but maybe some cookies will make him feel better. I think I'll go bake some right now. I haven't made cookies in a long time…. 

April 26, Later

DD,

The cookies did help, but Iggy ate most of them. I turned my back for no more than five seconds and they were gone. And Iggy was under the kitchen table surrounded by crumbs… I wasn't happy. I put Ned on Iggy-guarding duty. Since he became a Vaporeon Iggy has developed a great fear… I think it might have been the time Ned got fed up with his constant bouncing on his back that he used hydro pump… I love Ned very much. I was there when he and his brothers were born and I've been close with him ever since.

I think I'm going to go stealth training with Shuppet tomorrow. I think I'll ride Torterra into the mountains so that we can get some practical training done before I sent Shuppet off to spy for me.

Oh, I think I'll write down my top-secret cookie recipe for safe keeping. I wouldn't want anybody reading it or stealing it, and no place is safer than my diary.

2 stks. butter, melted  
>2-14 c flour  
>1 tsp. salt<br>1 sp. Baking soda  
>¼ c. sugar<br>1-1/4 cup brown sugar  
>1 egg<br>1 egg yolk  
>2 tbsp. milk<br>1-1/2 tsp. vanilla extract  
>2 c. chocolate chips<p>

Oven 375 F  
>Standard wet-dry method (sift, cream, liquids, incorporate, chips)<br>Chill dough  
>Bake 14 minutesgolden brown

April 27

Dear Diary,

Roark wasn't thrilled when I told him what I wanted to do today, but he felt a bit better about it after I told him that I would ride on Torterra's back for most of the day. I don't want to stress him out, but I really want to train Shuppet. It is such a wonderful little ghost and I feel like I don't spend enough time training with it. Shuppet learns so fast, it is really quite amazing…

Off to the mountains we go! 

April 27, Later

Being in love is a very scary thing. I never really thought about it before, but for some reason I can't get it out of my mind. It is scary because you're never quite sure what the other person is thinking and feeling. What if he is just toying with me? What if I am nothing more than another girl to him? How many people has he done this same thing to? How often does he use the word love; and what does love even mean to him? How do you know if their feelings are as fleeting as a supernova exploding in the infinite sky or if they will last forever like the very fabric of space and time? How do you know the same about your own feelings? So many questions, and not a single answer in sight….

Ever since I met Roark I've been doing and saying things that make no sense for me to do or say. And what is it all for? I'm not me when I'm around him. I'm this bimbo who is clumsy and can't seem to form a proper sentence. I'm not LC. I wish I knew who I was and I wish I could just be me…

What if he falls in love with the fool before him and not with the person I am inside? Or worse, what if he doesn't know the difference between love and lust? I know I'm not beautiful; I know I'll never be a model or a news anchor. I'll never be as pretty as Officer Jenny or any Nurse Joy. But even so, more than one person has acted like I was the most beautiful thing they had ever laid eyes on. What if that is all he feels for me and the mind trapped inside of this body means nothing?

I know that I'm head over heals in love with Roark, but I also know we can't be together. The moment he finds out about my past then he'll never want to speak to me again… I fear that day more than anything, but I think I'll cherish each day until that happens as if it were our last…

Even if he doesn't find out about my past, it always seems to be sneaking up on me. Wes is proof of that. Now they know that I'm in Sinnoh and that I have a connection of some sort with the Oreburgh gym leader. I have no doubt that there is still a bounty on my head… The Boss was never happy about me leaving… The first time they caught me because I wasn't careful, but this time I've done my best to hide my steps and never stay in one place too long… Maybe it was foolish of me to think I could outsmart them. They're everywhere. They'll never stop… I will never be free…

I'm sorry for going off on that tangent. I'm up here in the mountains and I can't seem to concentrate on training… Writing in you helps, but my mind is still spinning...

April 29

Dear Diary,

I have found true happiness. It is falling asleep in Roark's arms. Hearing his heart beat, listening to him breath, and feeling his warm body next to mine... Words will never be able to describe the way I felt last night. I'm only doing my best to live in the moment and not worry about my past or my future. Things are great right now; I never want them to change. 

April 29, Later

DD,

The last few days have been a blur… And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Roark is the most sincere person I have ever met and he makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world.

As I lay out here in the sun watching Ned and Iggy train, I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve Roark. I haven't been a particularly good person my entire life. In fact, looking back I can say there are more things I'm ashamed of doing than I am proud of doing…. I don't know why I ever joined them. I guess I was just young and stupid. And then there was him. He made me feel important. He scared me at first, but that went away after I saw his face for the first time. He made me feel special. He was an adult who treated me the exact opposite way my mom treated me and I couldn't get enough. It's good that I left when I did… Every time I've seen his name or face in the newspaper it scares me to think that I used to help him do those evil things.

I think I've been in denial about me and Roark for the past few months… Looking back it's so clear that he loved me from the moment I dropped into his life. Until about a month ago I was in complete denial about how he felt about me, and until a few days ago I was in denial about how I felt about him. But when he found me in the mountains that day… It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I love him and he loves me. And nothing is stopping us from being happy but ourselves… At least now I have some clarity on it all and I'm not afraid. I've spent most of my life just ignoring things I didn't want to deal with, but that doesn't seem to be an option with Roark…

April 30

Dear Diary,

I finally got Cleffa to come out of her pokeball. She's been very shy ever since the mansion incident… But I managed to coax her out. She is so cute, but everything scares her. I hope that I can help build up her confidence. We spent some time working on a charm attack.

Iggy is jealous of Cleffa. And he bullies her a bit. I gave her a cute little bow for her hair and he took it and threw it into the ceiling fan. I'll have to wait until Roark gets home to get it untangled because I'm too short to reach… 

April 30, Later

Roark is very stressed out today. He yelled at me over practically nothing because he had a bad day at work. I didn't mean for it to happen, but I also think he overreacted. I hate being yelled at. I hate it more than anything in the world. My mom did nothing but yell at me. It's why I left. I just could not take any more of the yelling… If Roark keeps this up then I'm gone. I'm not going to stay with somebody who treats me this way.


	3. May

May 1

I made Roark sleep on the couch last night. There was no way that I was going to lay in bed next to a jerk. He left before I woke up and didn't even bother leaving a note. He isn't being very nice to me… I'm going training today and I'm not leaving a note either. Maybe I'll go on a long training trip and not tell him. 

May 1, Later

I can't get Cleffa to come outside with me. She just goes back into her pokeball every time I open a door or a window. Poor little thing… And Iggy isn't making things easy. I had to have Ned and Sinatra watch over him because he kept trying to throw cookies at Cleffa. I told him that if he wanted to share he could do it in a nicer way, but Iggy would just throw more cookies when he thought I wasn't looking. It is very frustrating…

May 2

DD,

Roark apologized to me last night, but I'm not sure how sincere it is. At least we kissed and made up. He talked to me too, which I'm very happy about. Most of the time he just keeps everything inside and he thinks that I'm some sort of seer who can read his mind. I wish I could… If I could have one super-power, it would be the ability to read people's minds. Then I could tell if somebody is lying to me or know their true intentions…. Or maybe I could control their thoughts and make them do whatever I wanted. I could rule the world!

The main thing that's been upsetting Roark is that machinery keeps breaking. It's put the mine behind schedule and he feels like he isn't doing enough because of his injured arm. I wish I could do something to help… Poor Roark. He's so young and has so much responsibility. I probably haven't made things easy for him when he gets home either, so I feel bad about it. I suppose I'll just have to try harder if I want this relationship to work. It's so easy to lose track of the important things…

May 2, Later

I'm very proud of Cleffa. I don't know what caused this breakthrough, but she's going outside and letting other people come near her. I'm very happy that she's finally made some progress. We're going to bake cookies to celebrate! 

May 2, Later

Cleffa and I brought cookies to the miners taking a break at the gym. Cleffa loves to bake with me and we spent all morning making yummy cookies. Iggy kept trying to eat them, but I put Ned and Sinatra on guard duty again. I didn't see Roark at the gym, but I can't say I'm surprised. He's been a total workaholic lately.

The guys I met there were really nice. They said that they'd heard of me but never met me. I joked with them and said that I hoped they only heard good things. They chuckled and looked at each other like they knew something I didn't… I don't even want to know. Men are men and I'm sure that, as nice a guy as Roark is, he talks to his guy friends. I don't want to know everything that was said… My sanity depends on it!

May 3

Cleffa really likes Roark. It's so cute how she'll perch on top of his shoulder and give him a hug when he gets home. I think Roark likes it too. It's so ironic because he's used to being around big, tough pokemon all day in the mines and then he comes home to me and two baby pokemon who only want to cuddle and be cute. If Iggy were a girl, then Roark's home life would be the exact opposite of macho.

I've been hatching the eggs I got after the mansion incident. So far I've hatched nearly 40 Bulbasaur. They are absolutely adorable little beasts. I love plant pokemon so much, but I know that I can't keep them all. I think I'll make a flyer and give them out to other trainers… But maybe after they've grown up a bit more. They are too cute to let go of as hatchlings!

Later I think I'm going to plant more berries in the garden. I'm running low on leppa berries and there is only one way to get more… 

May 3, Later

I can't sleep. I just find myself laying in bed and staring at the ceiling… Roark keeps tossing and turning, I think he's having a nightmare… I don't want to wake him up because that is terribly bad luck. I don't want to jinx Roark or make things for him worse. In the morning I'll ask him if he remembers what he dreamt about.

Cleffa and Iggy are so cute right now. They're both sleeping at the foot of the bed and it is absolutely adorable. I wish they would get along this well when they're awake. I wish that Iggy would treat Cleffa better. It breaks my heart to see Cleffa hurt because of Iggy. He KO'd her twice yesterday. Twice! That is worse than Happiny treated him… I've done my best raising him, but I think Iggy is a bit spoiled. I'm going to do my best to change him, but I know it will be a challenge. So much has changed in such a short amount of time. I don't blame Iggy for acting out a bit because of it…

May 4

Dear Diary,

Roark left before I woke up yesterday. But he left me the most adorable note. It says "You're cute when you sleep. Can't wait to come home tonight. Love you." It is so, so sweet of him to do something like that. I'll have to think of something even nicer to do for him tomorrow… Or tonight when he gets home. I'm not sure what, but I am going to do something… 

May 4, Later

Okay, I've got a plan. It will take a few days but I think it will be worth it. Hopefully I can pull it off…

I spent some quality time with Iggy today. We sat around watching TV and cuddling. No Cleffa, no Ned, no Roark. Just Iggy and I. I love spending time with the little guy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm giving him enough attention. Things have changed so much in the past few months and I don't know if I've really thought about how it all affects him. It can't be easy… It was just the two of us for so long and now he has to share my love and attention. Iggy will always be important to me; we are the best of friends.

May 5

Dear Diary,

Hopefully I can surprise Roark tomorrow. I have almost everything ready… I just need to find somewhere to ditch all of our pokemon. I want it to just be the two of us, no distractions. I would board them at the pokemon center, but Iggy would attack that poor, poor Nurse Joy… Maybe I'll have a talk with some of the more reliable ones and keep them home alone. Hermit and Ned are very responsible, I'm sure that if I left either of them in charge nothing would go wrong. And there is always Tower… 

May 5, Later

DD,

I'm leaving them at home, Ned and Tower will be in charge. Hermit wants to spend some time meditating, but promised that he would intervene if things became crazy. Iggy is a little bit hurt, but I'm sure that he'll be fine with me gone for a few hours. Tomorrow is going to be great! I had a long talk with Ned and Tower and I'm confident that they can keep Iggy under control. I also spoke to Iggy and Cleffa and explained to both that I loved them very dearly but that love doesn't mean that constant attention. Cleffa understands, but Iggy took it pretty hard. I feel bad about it, but hopefully the little fluff will do just fine. Ned tends to keep him in check…

May 6

Dear Diary,

My plan worked perfectly! Roark loved it. Will write more tomorrow, maybe.

May 7

DD,

Roark gave me a necklace today! It is a beautiful green and white stone that has a symbol on it. He said that the symbol is of an Unown. I love it! It is so beautiful... I gave him a big hug and kiss when he gave it to me. Roark smiles every time he sees me wearing it. It's so cute, I love it.

I hope things stay like this forever, but in my heart I know it is little more than a fleeting moment… No. I'm not going to think like that. This can really work. Nothing can stop it from working but me and Roark, and we're both very much committed to each other. 

May 7, Later

My leg is doing better than ever. The wound is nice, pink, and healing. I just got back from visiting the doctor and he said it was looking great. I'm going to have a nasty scar on my leg, but that's the price you pay for being a pokemon trainer. Pokemon are dangerous at times and on some occasions they do attack. I consider myself lucky; all things considered it could have been much worse...

The past few days have been a complete bliss. I've been completely wrapped up in my feelings for Roark. I wish I knew why my mind acts this way… When he is around then it's like nothing else in the world matters. It is just me and him. I don't even notice Iggy half the time, and that little fluff has been my life for the past several years. I feel very conflicted over it, but it's hard to dwell on those feelings. I'm living in the moment instead of just going through life not caring. I don't know how I lived before. The world is a much brighter and happier place to me now than I think it ever was.

May 8

Dear Diary,

Roark gave Cleffa a name today. We were eating lunch together and I was getting something out of my bag when Cleffa jumped into said bag. I told her to get out of there, and she came out covered in a sparkly powder. She had gotten into a pouch of stardust. So Roark decided to start calling her Stardust and she seems to love it. I'm usually against re-naming pokemon, but she's gotten to the point where she won't listen to me when I call her Cleffa. So Stardust it is… Iggy and Stardust, my two baby pokemon…

May 9

Stardust is missing! I woke up this morning and Iggy was his normal self but I cannot find Stardust anywhere. I have Shuppet and Pidgeotto out searching for her now… I'm so worried. Iggy claims to know nothing, but he looks to happy over this ordeal not to be involved… I hope Stardust is okay. I'll be crushed if anything bad happens to her. 

May 9, Later

DD,

Stardust was with Roark. She woke up with Roark and went to work with him in the mines. And Roark is acting like it was no big deal! I was worried sick and started on an all-out search to find her and needlessly interrogated and yelled at Iggy and Roark acts like I'm a heartless villain for scolding her for leaving without telling me. I am so mad at Roark for that, actually. I am her trainer and she needs to obey me. The way she acts now you would think Roark is her trainer. Gah! I hope that he gets teased relentlessly by the other miners for having a Cleffa in a coal mine.

I apologized to Iggy and he forgave me instantly. He's a great little guy like that. I don't know what I'd do without Iggy; he's been the one consistent thing in my life since I left Vermillion. I miss how we used to travel around. I haven't even challenged the gyms here in Sinnoh yet, maybe Iggy and I will do a gym tour. Just me and my team; no Roark. Well, save when we challenge his gym. I'll probably save him for last. Either him or Volkner. It's hard to battle somebody you know because win or lose they'll remember it. I remember all the battles I had with Lt. Surge… The day I got his badge was the best and worst day of my life.

May 10

Dear Diary,

Stardust went with Roark again today. Roark told me that she mostly stays in her pokeball when he is in the mine and it kinda hurts. She would rather be in her pokeball with him than out and about with me. Whatever makes Stardust happy I suppose... Roark could use another pokemon anyways. All he has now is a Rhampardos, a Geodude, and an Onix. At least I try to keep six on my team at all times… If Cleffa doesn't want to be on my team then I'll have to get a different pokemon to fill the final slot. Shouldn't be too hard, there are plenty deserving of it…

I think Roark is getting back to normal now. For the longest time he's been rather high-strung, but I think he's getting back to his happy-go-lucky niche. It makes me very happy to see. Poor Roark, he must feel like the world is on his shoulders sometimes. So much responsibility at such a young age… I know it isn't easy on him. I'm doing my best, but sometimes I wish I could do more to make his life happy.

Sometimes I feel like all his troubles are my fault. If he hadn't left the mine to go running after me then he wouldn't have fractures his arm… If I wasn't in his life then he would be happier. Sometimes I know that without a doubt. I've been thinking about just leaving and going back to life with just me and Iggy. Sometimes I think that everybody would be happier that way. But I don't leave. All those thoughts leave my mind the moment he grins in my direction or says those three little words… most of the time. More and more it still seems to echo in the back of my mind. I love Roark more than anything, but I feel like I'm ruining his life…

May 11

Dear Diary,

I decided to bring Claudene into the party. She is my beloved Weavile. We met when I was visiting Floe Island; it was somewhere in Icefall Cave. She was the cutest little Sneasel! She was in my party for the longest time after that. Right up until she evolved, actually. I was very surprised when she evolved. We were up north in Snowpoint City when she found a razor claw in the snow. She really liked it, so I let her hold onto it during battles. Several days later, when we were training at night, Claudene evolved into a Weavile. She gained quite a bit of attitude after evolving, so I kept her at the house with all of the other pokemon I wasn't actively training. Hopefully that gave her an attitude adjustment… I'll see if that strategy worked or not when I get back home… 

May 11, Later

Dear Diary,

Claudene is doing great! She listens to me now and she isn't "too cool for her trainer". In fact, we hugged the moment I found her. She is so cute… I love Claudene. From the moment she entered the party we were close, but evolving changed her so much. Now we're closer to how things are when she was a Sneasel. That gives me hope…

I love my pokemon and when they evolve I'm very happy for them, but deep inside I'm also sad. They change. Evolution changes even the best pokemon. There is no getting around it… I would never stop one of my pokemon from evolving. To be honest, I'm surprised that Iggy hasn't evolved. I suppose he just isn't ready for it… Or maybe I don't make him happy enough to evolve…

Stardust seems very happy lately. She and Roark are so close. I'm happy that they share a strong bond, but I'm also jealous of it. I wanted to be that close to her. I'm very close to all of my pokemon. I'm also jealous of the attention Roark gives her. Lately, he's been fawning over her all evening and barely paying attention to me. I spend all day working on hatching eggs, cleaning house, and making his life better and what does he do when he gets home? Gives all his attention to a pokemon he had with him all day. If she weren't a baby then I would probably freak out, but I know that baby pokemon need a plethora of attention. I just spend plenty of time with Iggy; telling the little fluff that I love him and watching him sing and dance. It's just like things were before we lived in Oreburgh City. But I'm not in Oreburgh City so that I can keep the status quo my life had before. I wish Roark understood that…

May 12

Dear Diary,

I'm going into the underground today. I am going to take Iggy with me this time. It just makes life easier when I keep him with me. Iggy listens to me and the other pokemon don't have to worry about taking care of him. I know he's a handful and Ned needs a break. He hates being so far away from a decent body of water. Maybe I can talk Roark into going on vacation with me to one of the lakes…

I need to go find a hardhat to wear in the mines and then I'm off. Hopefully I can find something nice while I'm down there. 

May 12, Later

DD,

I found a heartscale! It is so pretty. It is like a little rainbow heart thing. And they are so hard to find, I didn't really believe it when I was digging. I am so, so, so, so happy right now! I also found a fossil. Roark said it is a Kabuto fossil and that the museum could resurrect it back into a pokemon. I'm not sure if I want to have that done or not… I'll have to visit the museum tomorrow to see what the process is and how it all works. Who knows what will happen, it might just stay in my bag with all the other random things I've collected over the years.

Roark said I looked cute in his extra hardhat. I told him that the light on it doesn't work and that I had to use Charmeleon as light in the underground. He just laughed and said that it was broken because of me. Apparently it's the hat he wore when we first met. That was an interesting day… I don't remember a lot of it. I think Roark had to tell me most of what happened because I hit my head pretty hard. I remember running off of a cliff, but the rest is hazy. Apparently I landed on top of him. Not very glorious, I know, but it works. It didn't seem to have scared him off. I mostly remember what happened after I left the hospital. I was on my way out of town when Roark came running after me and gave me a Cranidos egg. I thought it was a bit odd at the time, but looking back I think he like me, even then. We were just friends and pen pals for a while after that, and then somehow we became us… I can't tell you how that happened, either.

I wonder if he ever regrets going from an I to an us. Sometimes I wish I could get inside of his head and find out… Come to think of it, I could. I have Hermit… Perhaps I will put Hermit back into my party full time again. He and Claudene used to get along so well, but when she evolved they were at odds. Who would have thought that a Sneasel and an Alakazam would get along so well, but a Weavil and an Alakazam would get into so many fights? Oh well… If he is in the party again then I'll have to have to ask him what he thinks about Roark. Hermit has always been the best judge of character because of his psychic abilities and intelligence. He's average for an Alakazam, but that is still worlds better than most pokemon. I've always considered myself lucky to be so close to him. He's been with me ever since I left Celadon City… What they did to him was cruel. He wasn't cooperative at first, but I earned his trust with time.

I'm so tired… Roark and Cleffa are up watching TV and Iggy is sleeping on the ground next to me as I write this. I think I'll take Iggy and go to bed. Those two can have all the fun they want together…..

May 13

Dear Diary,

Today has been very boring thus far. I'm thinking about taking some of the little Bulbasaur training with me in the mountains with me, but they might still be a bit too young for that…

May 13, Later

Dear Diary,

I gave seven of my baby Bulbasaur away today. One was to this old man, I didn't catch his name. He was bald and kept talking about the good old days before 'whippersnappers like me ruined everything' and catching Weedle… It was weird. I gave him the pokemon and just walked away… I think I've seen him lurking around Oreburgh City before, especially around the gym. I'll have to ask Roark about him when I get a chance… I gave the others to a bunch of poke-kids. The look on their faces made me so very happy. I hope they take good care of the little beasts… I worry about them all, but especially much for Hungry. That old man was unsettling… Hopefully he won't forget to feed the little guy…

It was hard to let them go, but I know that it was the right thing to do. I couldn't possibly take care of each and every one of them… I have a hard enough time keeping up with my current team of pokemon. Which reminds me, I need to battle-

Lost my train of thought… Byron called. He asked me to have Roark call him when he gets home and I said that I'd pass on the message. I get the feeling that Byron doesn't like me. Every time that he sees me he looks at me weirdly… I feel like he's judging me. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough to be with his son. Roark is lucky that he doesn't have to deal with that at all. I'm sure that if I hadn't run away that my mom would have been infinitely worse than Byron. She was always that way, and always nosey too. I can't tell you how many times she would listen to conversations in the pokemon center and then just butt right in and 'try to help'. It irritated me to no end when she would do that to me and my friends. Not that it mattered towards the end, they were all off on their pokemon journeys and I was stuck in Vermillion alone... 

May 13, Later

DD,

Turns out that Byron called to invite Roark and his gym assistants to train on Iron Island. He called him back after we ate dinner. Dinner went… interestingly. Iggy had a bit of a freak out and bounced all the way onto the roof. I flew on Pidgeotto to get him back but I slipped and nearly fell off the roof. Luckily Pidgeotto managed to catch me… Iggy calmed down after my near-death experience and Roark yelled at me for being careless. I hate being yelled at, especially by somebody like him. But I digress, sometime next week Roark is leaving to train with Byron and a bunch of gym assistants on Iron Island. Maybe some time away will get Roark to appreciate me… Or maybe I'll just leave when he's gone. Roark was way out of line by yelling at me. If it weren't for Stardust I probably would have walked out right then…

I am not happy.

May 14

Dear Diary,

Iggy and I are going to bake plenty of cookies today. I wanted to give the gym assistants something to much on while traveling all the way to Iron Island. I hope that Roark chokes on them. Well, not literally, but still… I can't wait for Roark to leave. He was such a jerk this morning. He acted like I was the unreasonable one because I didn't give him a hug or a kiss on his way to work. I say that he is unreasonable to expect me to be affectionate towards him after he yelled at me for no good reason last night. I have pokemon! I don't have to be careful when I've got them around watching my back. Just because he doesn't have any useful ones doesn't mean that I can't live my life the way I want to.

Oh, and it turns out that they aren't leaving next week; they're leaving tomorrow. Roark apologized for yelling at me, but I'm still not happy with him. I'm going to visit my former house in Floaroma Town while he's away on the gym trip. Just me, Iggy, and the rest of MY team. Who knows; maybe we won't come back. 

May 14, Later

DD,

Roark and I talked today and he got several people to go training. Then he said 'Ian, Jonathon, and Darius are all going, so that makes five of us from Oreburgh Gym going on this trip,' and I was confused. I told him that he miscounted, it made four people going. He said the last person was me. I had no idea I was considered a part of the gym; apparently I didn't get the memo. Roark said my position was 'designated confectioner' since I've been bringing cookies to the gym for the miners. So it looks like I'm going! That makes me so, so happy!

I think I'll focus on training Shuppet and Claudene. Both have been very motivated lately and I want to encourage that spirit. I think both are tired of battling the pokemon around Oreburgh City. There are more powerful ones on the island that should really challenge them. I'm so excited for them and for me. I get to go training with a bunch of gym people. Best of all, I'll be one of them!

May 15

DD,

Busy day! We changed when we were leaving from tonight to first thing tomorrow morning. We're meeting the Canalave Gym people in Canalave City and then the entire group will take the ferry to Iron Island. Then we get to train to our hearts content! I want to bake some extra cookies for the miners while I'm gone and some to bring along for the trip. I'm so considerate, I know. Well, not really, I just need something to do today to keep myself busy. I think that I need to get myself a Miltank so that I can churn my own butter. I know the cookies would turn out better if I had real butter like grandma used to make.

I still don't entirely believe that she's gone… She was so vibrant and it all happened so quickly. I wish… No. I'm not going there. I won't let myself go to that place again.

...I find it hard to live in one place like this. It gets boring after a while… Same house. Same scenery. Same weather. Same people. Same food. When I would travel it was different every single day. I loved that part of it. Growing up it was exciting to leave Vermillion. It only happened a handful of times, but each one was so special and exciting. When I have kids, I hope that I can show them the world before they leave to become a trainer. If they even go that route… I won't try to force them into something they don't want to be like my mother did to me. As long as they love what they do then I won't have failed as a parent. 

May 15, Later

DD

Iggy is sick! My poor little buff… I had to go to the store because we were out of sugar and I let him stay at the house with Ned watching over him. I came back and he had eaten over two dozen cookies! He ate his own weight in cookies more than twice over. And Ned let him do it! I am so disappointed in Ned… He usually does such a good job of watching Iggy...

I mixed up some berries and Iggy seems to be perking up, but I don't know if he'll be well enough to travel… We'll see in the morning. His health is my number one priority.

May 16

Dear Diary,

Iggy is still sick, but Roark insisted that we go anyways. So we're on our way to Canalave City. We're all squished into Ian's truck. Iggy is on Roark's lap and looks quite miserable right now… I think it's too stuffy in here. If Iggy gets any worse then I'm getting out and taking care of Iggy. The little fluff comes first… 

May 16, Later

Dear Diary,

Forget them. I made Ian pull over the truck and I got out with Iggy. Then I told them that I was going to fly on Pidgeotto to Canalave City because it would be faster and Iggy would fare better through flying. Before Roark could say or do anything, Iggy and I were on Pidgeotto flying away. We're in Canalave right now. Iggy is doing better now than he was in that truck, but I do worry about him... I think I'll mix up another set of berries and give that to him when I get to the Canalave Gym… Hopefully Byron is around. I probably won't stick around long, but it would be rude not to stop in.

May17

Dear Diary,

Wow, yesterday was quite the day. I went to the Canalave Gym and met all the gym assistants. There are quite a few more here than there are in Oreburgh. Most were nice, but Ricky and David were… strange. They are really into martial arts and were sparring against each other when I first walked into the gym. There was a very nice trainer named Breanna that I talked to for a few hours while Iggy slept in my jacket. She was very nice and had an adorable Azumarill.

Byron showed up when Breanna and I were talking about Iggy's cookie problem. He was with some workers and looked a bit annoyed when he saw me. I told him that I flew here on my Pidgeotto and he didn't really seem to care. He kept talking about how he has a piece of amber that could be revived into an Aerodactyl at the museum in Oreburgh.

After that he insulted my choice in pokemon by saying I don't have any defensive types. I immediately let Strength out of her pokeball and he was floored. Breanna chuckled at the entire encounter and then Byron ran off to do something or another with his assistants. Not that I mind, he's always made me a bit uneasy… I don't know, I just feel like he doesn't think I'm good enough for _his_ son. Breanna and I talked about it a bit and she said that he always acted that way. Later she told me that she used to have a crush on Roark back when he lived in Canalave City. It's… weird when people tell you things like that. I liked Breanna up until she told me that. Now I feel like I have to keep an extra eye on her when Roark is around…

Roark and the other Oreburgh people never did show up. Hopefully they'll be here in time for the ferry at 4:00 p.m. tomorrow. It only comes and goes once per day and if they miss it than it's that much less training on Iron Island. I know that I don't want to go there with the Canalave Gym people. It would be weird, a bunch of gym people I barely know and then me with my little Iggy… If they don't make it in time then I'll have to find a way out of going. It shouldn't be too hard, I doubt that Byron would miss me. Although I'm sure Breanna would because I'm the only other girl scheduled to go on the trip. 

May 18

DD,

I spent the night with Breanna; if it weren't for the Roark remark then I would say we've become instant friends. It's hard for me to be friends with her when I also feel competitive against… But we had fun. Pizza, soda, and random games all night. We got all the girly stuff out of the way so that we could be 'one of the guys' on the trip. It was fun and different. I haven't had a good friend like Breanna for a long, long time… At lease since I was back in 'school', but even then I was much closer to Wes and Gail than I was to any of the other girls in my class. They were more fun and less catty so we got along better than I did with the girls. In fact, there was one group of girls who absolutely hated me and I never did find out why… I suppose some things are better left unknown.

Well, I'm off to go ditto hunting. While I was taking with Breanna she mentioned how she saw some Ditto just outside of town. I've always wanted one of those little blobs… I think I saw a ditto once or twice when I was a child, but I never got a chance to catch one. Fingers crossed that I can catch one!

Even though Iggy is doing better today than he was yesterday, I left him at the gym. He was asleep inside of my jacket when I was getting ready and I just didn't have the heart to wake him… Hopefully he won't freak out when he wakes up. I'm sure I'll be back before that happens, though. I'm sure of it. Just going out to catch a few of those lovely Ditto. How long could it possibly take?

May 18, Later

Dear Diary,

Yikes! I can't sleep in this place… Even with Roark around, an abandoned hotel is just too much for me. I'm afraid that a Gengar will come out of the floor and scare me or something… Just like in that one movie. I can't sleep at all… My watch says that it's 2 a.m. I don't remember the last time I stayed up this late… Maybe the problem is that Iggy is gone. The gym is completely locked up so I hope that Breanna is taking care of the little guy. I left him in seemingly competent hands… He was really perking up, so I don't think that he'll be too badly off medically… But attitude wise he might be less than cooperative… That's just how Iggy is.

So… I'm sure you want to know what happened earlier. Well, it was an interesting day. I left Iggy with Breanna at the gym so that I could go and catch a Ditto for myself. It seemed like I was gone for only a few hours, but I must have lost track of time. I was in the middle of a grassy field when I thought I heard somebody calling out my name. I let Pidgeotto out of her pokeball and we flew high enough to see that it was Roark. But I also saw the pink blob of my dreams a few meters behind him.

Pidgeotto and I landed by the Ditto and called out to Roark. I called out Claudene and told her to cut the ditto off before he could escape. Claudene really seemed to scare the poor thing… He moved closer to me and just as Roark came running up to me, the ditto transformed. Not into some grass or Claudene or Pidgeotto like a normal Ditto would. Oh no, that would be too easy. It transformed into me. I smiled and laughed. Roark… Roark looked angry and tired at first, but after he saw the ditto he couldn't help but crack a smile. It was so very funny… I took a step next to the Ditto and then behind it. It turned around and raised its hand. It was surreal to see myself like that. It was like a living mirror… I couldn't help but critique myself. I need to do something with my hair… And I had no idea that my butt looked like that in those jeans. They are so comfortable, but they don't do me any favors otherwise. Next time I'm in Veilstone City I'll have to get some at the department store. Lilycove City back in Hoenn had the best styles, so maybe I'll visit there sometime to go clothes shopping. It could be fun…

Unfortunately, the Ditto got away because Roark tackled me. He claims that he thought that I was the transformed Ditto, but I have my doubts. By the time we had regained our wits, the Ditto had left the scene. I was sad, but figured that it just wasn't meant to be. Roark and I wound up back in town but had missed the ferry by over an hour. The Gym was locked up and I was upset… I was (and still am) worried about Iggy. But the worry turned into terror when I saw the NJ coming towards us. I grabbed Pidgeotto and went flying high to get away… She is the second most dangerous one. I can't let her see me; my life would be ruined if she recognized me…

I met back up with Roark after the NJ was gone. He told me that the NJ only wanted to tell him that the group took the ferry and Iggy to Iron Island. They expected us to be there in the morning. He asked why I flipped out and flew away on Pidgeotto… I couldn't tell him the truth. He would never understand. He… He is too good. Roark is golden. I wonder why he wants to be with somebody like me...

I remember the last time I saw her. It was at grandmother's funeral… She was so, so sad... And I was so, so angry… How could she leave me? How could she abandon me to deal with my mom on her own? I hate who I was back then. I was selfish and naïve… But I've learned. My redemption is in what I learned along the way. I don't think I'm a better person. I know I'm not a good person. I'm quite convinced that I'm a rather rotten person at heart. I will never understand what Roark sees in me. I will never fathom why somebody as wonderful as him wants to be with somebody as dark as me.

I was happy once. Back when I was a child and again after I entered the academy I was very happy. I remember a good friend telling me that I could light up a room with my smile and charms. I never thought much of it at the time. I was just being myself and it all came naturally. Even _he_ thought I was something special… _He_ got me into the academy in the middle of the semester and took special interest in my progress. I was only fourteen years old when we met… I gave _him_ power over me and _he_ loved it. I never loved _him_ but I did love the attention and fawning… _He_ said I could become elite someday and I knew it was wrong but I was so caught up in it all that I didn't care. Then one day I couldn't take it anymore. I took back the power _he_ had over me... _He_ was furious and I was broken… I don't think I've been truly happy since that day on the mountain…

Maybe I should try to sort it all out in you. Maybe it will help make some sense of it all… It all started when I left home. I went around Kanto getting badges. I managed to elude the police and other people who were looking out for me. Then I found myself at the final gym… The most feared leader of them all… Giovanni. It wasn't an easy battle, and I remember when it was over. It was the strangest of all… Other gym leaders would get upset or come over to congratulate me. But not him. He just looked at me and Iggy, as if he was sizing us up. Then he got up and walked over to us… What he said next changed my life forever. And believing him is the biggest regret of my life…

This is just too hard. It's hard to explain, really. I love Iggy and I've had some positively joyful moments with him, but as a whole I've just drifted through my life. Always traveling from one land to another… I wasn't even sure what I was running from most of the time. Every now and again I would meet people and for a fleeting moment my life would be more than just my own, but in the end I always kept moving on. It's hard to get hurt when there is nobody there to hurt you. It's just how I cope with it, I suppose. If nobody is close to me then I can't be hurt. I can't be abandoned or tortured emotionally. I can't be batter and bruised. But… I can't be loved either. I can't be cherished, worshiped, hugged, kissed… A few months ago I was happy with my solitary life. I think Roark has ruined that for me…

I can't stop thinking about it all now… I miss the days when Gail and I were friends. Me, him, and Wes were the best of friends and in a moment it all disintegrated… I spent so much time trying to forget them, but since I saw Wes I can't help but remember. I wonder about Gail most of all. Our relationship was always in the gray area between friends and more than friends up until the weeks before I left. I don't regret what happened between us and I don't regret leaving without a word to him. I didn't want to put him in danger; I cared far too much to do that to him… And then there was always the chance that his allegiance to _him_ and the entire organization would trump his loyalty towards me. I couldn't take that risk. If they ever find me then they will kill me. I am on _his_ black list. And I am one of the few still alive after making that list. I know how lucky I am to be alive.

I shouldn't be with Roark. It's too dangerous. What if they come to Sinnoh? What if they show up in the night and kill us both as we sleep? I wouldn't put it past them… I don't think Wes is associated with them anymore. If he was then he would have killed me at the mansion or the hospital. In many ways that scares me as much as what they might do… But at least it gives me hope. Maybe he got away and has bigger things on his mind than _him_. And maybe _he_ has bigger fish to fry than a little girl from Vermillion City…

I had a dream two nights ago. I never got the time two write it down, but I think I will now… I've been having it off and on since it happened… I was screaming and being drug to _him_ by two men in black masks. They threw me on the floor and _he_ slapped me and then told the two men to leave us alone. _He_ forced me to stand and stroked my cheek with _his_ cold hand… I still shudder when I think about it. And I can still remember _his_ words… "You had so much potential… And you still do. Once I break you then you will be truly glorious."

It always ends that way. I always wake up in a cold sweat… It was the first time I had that dream in over a year. It must have happened about five years ago, but sometimes I remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday…

I wonder if Roark has ever experienced pain like that. I wonder if-

May 19th

Dear Diary,

I have my Iggy! I am so much happier today than I was last night and this morning. Iggy is cuddling with me right now. It's so cute when he makes a little bed for himself out of my hair. I love feeling him right there, so close to me. I love Iggy and I am so happy now that he's back with me. I think Roark is happier too because I'm not nearly as on-edge.

I talked to Breanna. She said that Iggy started crying after he woke up and I wasn't there. She said that he cried for several hours straight but stopped when he saw Byron's hair. She said that Iggy would cry and attack trainers whenever they took him away from Byron's hair, so Byron let Iggy spend most of the last day perched on the very top of his head. I find it so funny how Iggy gets transfixed by Byron's hair… I wonder if it's the shape or the color that does it. Maybe it's just Byron. Maybe he is an Igglybuff magnet. Roark smiled about it, but Byron had nothing bit a grimace on his face the entire time. I don't think he likes Iggy. Byron has such big, tough, macho pokemon and then there is Iggy, a pink baby pokemon. I wonder how he feels about Stardust…

Yesterday Roark's watch/alarm/loud thingy went off as I was writing in you. It startled me quite a bit, but he said that we needed to hurry up because he knew somebody we could get a ride from. We managed to find the man Roark was talking about and we road with him on his boat to the island. I slept during most of the ride. For some reason I always get very tired when I'm on a boat… Roark and I got to Iron Island around 6 a.m. Byron was already awake and watching the sunrise outside. When Roark and I came into sight, Iggy jumped from Byron's head and bounced right into my arms. It was great to have my little buff back. I missed Iggy so much…

Byron gave me a dirty look when he saw us and then started yelling at Roark about how he wasn't dedicated to being a gym leader or to finding fossils. Roark yelled back about how he loved fossils more than anybody and that he has done blah, blah, blah for whatever and however long and something about being dedicated. I love Roark, I really do, but I don't understand why they would argue over something like that. Who cares about who loves fossils more? Shouldn't they just be happy that we're together and able to go on the training trip as planned? I'll never understand those two…

The commotion they caused woke up all of the other people on the trip and we started getting ready while Roark and Byron finished their yelling match. I got a vibe from the gym assistants that this is pretty standard for when those two are together and that the relatively peaceful encounters I had before were out of the ordinary. We went into the caves for training a few hours later. Stardust came out of her pokeball and some of the gym assistants made fun of Roark. I thought it was funny and so did Roark. He mostly laughed it off and smiled at me. I imagine that the guys at the Oreburgh mine said the same things to him when Stardust first started following him down there. I love how Roark can take it all in stride. It's one aspect of him that I truly admire. I've never had that talent. Things that people say always seem to get to me… Even from people that shouldn't matter.

Stardust did upset me, though. At one point Breanna tried to touch Stardust and she immediately went back inside of her pokeball. I tried to coax her back out, but she absolutely refused to listen to me. Roark asked her once and she came out. Once. ONCE! I tried for nearly five minutes and she couldn't care less, but Roark does it once and she listens. Roark isn't even her trainer… It is very upsetting to me. But not quite as upsetting as how Byron swatted Iggy into a cave wall. Iggy got entranced by Byron's hair and Byron just swatted him away like an annoying fly. Iggy started crying and I couldn't get him to stop for twenty minutes. Byron can be so cruel… I'm going to keep a closer eye on Iggy so that it doesn't happen again. And I'm going to keep both of us as far away from Byron as possible…

So far today not much has happened. I've been focusing on Shuppet's training. Claudene was full of attitude this morning so she'll have to wait until tomorrow to get her training in. She needs to relearn how to respect me. Once that respect is there then we can be friends again and I think things will go quite well for us…

May 20th

Dear Diary,

I didn't think about it before, but I am the girliest girl here. This entire thing was a bit of a stag outing (save Breanna it is entirely a stag outing), but I seem to fit in with them well enough. Had I thought of it before then I think I would have stayed in Oreburgh City and let all the gym people have their fun training without me. But until I build a time-machine or meet The Doctor again that isn't going to happen…

Iggy is being adorable right now. He's doing a cute little dance for me as I write this. I think he wants my attention, so I must go. 

May 20, Later

DD,

Wow doesn't quite say it… Roark is so full of surprises. Shuppet and I were chasing after a Mawile and got separated from the group a bit while battling it. Roark followed me and I didn't even notice him until I called back Shuppet and he came up behind me and gave me a hug. He said that we should stay lost, so we went off in the cave together.

Now we're outside of the cave on Iron Island. Don't ask me how Roark got us here…. It's not a ledge like before, just a small opening to the cave. Kinda grassy and lovely….. We just lazed about and talked to each other. At first about nothing. Then he started saying the sweetest things to me. He really loves me. I can see the sincerity in his eyes and when he hugs me I can feel how much he cares. Like it's tangible... I've never felt this way about another person. I've never had somebody feel this way about me!

I love Roark. I'd marry him tomorrow if he asked me.

May 21,

Dear Diary,

Rain, rain, go away…

We're finally leaving Iron Island. I'm on the ferry right now and it's raining outside. I'm getting a bit sea sick... The trip is over and I had a great time overall. At the very least I'm feeling better than ever about me and Roark. I really think we can make this work in the long run. I'm not afraid of us.

Last night Roark and I camped out in the cave. We managed to find our way back to where we left the group, but they were long-gone. We were both too tired to try to catch up any further. I felt horrible about it because Iggy didn't follow Shuppet and I when we left the group… But at least I had some quiet time with Roark. We don't get a lot of that; it's always work or training or something. We talked about a lot of things and I probably told him more than I should have… But he really opened up to me. We talked about his dad. It turns out that Byron has been much more mellow since Roark's mother died. Roark said that they were both crushed because it was so unexpected, and at her request they've actually been fighting less than usual. It was strange… Roark said that usually they fight over silly things, but that the fights can still get very heated very quickly.

It reminds me of how it was with my mom… I told Roark about my mom and how she always tried to push me in a direction I didn't want to go. I just didn't want to become a pokemon nurse like everybody else in the family. My grandmother was supportive of it; she said that there were plenty of Joy's that didn't go into nursing. Although… I think she only ever had a few examples of them… I think she said they worked for the Pokemon Inspection Agency. I still don't know what that agency does or why I would ever want to consider that, but at least she tried to get my mom to see the light.

Anyways, I think that Roark and Byron's relationship worked because Roark wanted to do the things his dad pushed him to do. He wanted to work at the mine. He wanted to become a gym leader. He wanted all of those things, so their relationship worked in a weird-dysfunctional type of way. My relationship with my mom didn't work because you can't force a zephyr to go east. Although… Looking back at it, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. I mean, nursing school would have been cake for me and I may have even done an internship with my aunt … And maybe I wouldn't be looking over my shoulder every day… But that's wishful thinking at best. I made my choices and I'm happy with the life it's lead me to. I doubt I ever would have met Roark if I hadn't made the bad choices.

Speaking of Roark, he also told me that he loved visiting Iron Island as a kid and that's why he knows all of the best places on the island. I can't imagine how brave he must have been to travel around this place alone as a kid! I was brash, but I hated being in the caves and forests alone. Even with Iggy and the others it was tough. Roark really is something else.

I think that's all of the highlights from our night together. Well, except for… No, I am not going into that. But maybe… I did open the door… Nah, not here and not now. Fast forward to when we met up with the group earlier today. It was just before noon according to my clock. Let's just say that some people didn't buy our story about getting lost. And other people insinuated things that did not happen. And Roark helped perpetuate those insinuations, much to my dismay... Men!

I still feel horrible about how I forgot about Iggy. I must have gotten caught up in the moment with Roark and he just slipped my mind entirely. My poor little buff…. I'm giving him lots of cuddles now. He looks a bit deflated and has been through so much the past few days. How could I have forgotten about him? How could I be such a bad trainer? There really is no excuse for my behavior. Hopefully I can make it up to him. Hopefully he won't hate me and run away for my momentary lapse in judgment.

May 22

Dear Diary,

Last night Byron invited me and Roark to say in Canalave City for an extra day. Roark accepted, of course. I…. I don't mind the part about spending time with Byron. I do mind the NJ at the pokemon center. It's painful to see her…. She's changed so much and I can't help but feel some of it is my fault. I can't keep doing this to myself. I left that life behind a long time ago and I need to stop looking back at it. It only brings me pain to do so… Why did I have to fall for somebody with connections to Canalave City? Any other city in Sinnoh and I would be fine…

We're here until tomorrow when we leave for Oreburgh City so I'm going to make the most of it. I think I'll do some shopping while I'm here… 

May 22, LATER

DD,

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I almost had a heart attack. Close call with the NJ, if it weren't for Pidgeotto then she would have seen me and Iggy! In fact she saw Iggy… Iggy went right up in front of her before Pidgeotto grabbed him and flew away. Thank God that Pidgeotto is so fast…. The books weren't lying when they said it can fly as fast as mach 2. The people at the academy were completely right, now that I have a good flying pokemon I do wonder how I ever lived without it. And she is so beautiful… Such a pretty plume on the top of her head that is just a bit longer than her body. Thinking about our history and petting her glossy feathers really makes all of the stress from today just disappear. Then I look at Iggy and it is back again.

It all started out innocently enough. I was walking down the street with Roark and Byron. We were talking about some fossils that Byron found on Iron Island and the guys were trying to decide if it was noteworthy or not. We were making our way to the gym when the NJ came running out of nowhere. I don't know what she was saying or why she was doing it, but she came so close and Iggy was right there and looked up at her and smiled and acted like he always did around her. And he did a cute little cooing noise and then I grabbed Pidgeotto's ball and we bolted. I hope she didn't recognize me… I hope she forgot. My life is over if she remembers me. First there will be shock. Then outrage. Then yelling. Then I'll be shipped off to Kanto to answer a LOT of questions. I'm sure that they care about more than just the missing person… I know that there will probably be questions about the mountain and the Elite 4… God, I don't know if I can take all of that. It kills me to know that somebody I love is so near but I can't say anything to them. I can't tell her I'm sorry; I can't even send her a letter or leave her a note because it will just reopen the wound.

An even scarier thought came into my mind: What if she doesn't recognize me? What if she's moved on and doesn't care about what has happened to me?

Right now I'm looking out at the water from behind that abandoned hotel Roark showed me. I wonder what he's doing right now…

May 23

Dear Diary,

Last night was… interesting to say the least. Roark grilled me for information but I didn't let anything bad slip. He mainly wanted to know why Iggy cooed at the Canalave NJ while he attacked the one in Sunyshore. Apparently the story of what happened with Volkner has gotten around… Of course I couldn't tell him the truth. It would have too easy to say, "Oh, well, he acted that way because she is my aunt and the only living member of my family who actually liked Iggy instead of ridiculing him for not being a more traditional nursing pokemon, like Happiny." Yes, too easy. It would have opened up a can of worms that I can't handle. I might as well have told him right then and there that I was a runaway and have been estranged for my family for a decade because I chose to join Team Rocket!

…

Okay, I've had a moment to calm down… Roark found me behind the hotel and he saw how upset I was. He just… He just doesn't understand how hard it is for me to be here. We talked for a little while and I told him that I was just afraid that Iggy would attack an NJ again and that he would get in trouble. I think I ad-libbed something about him using his cuteness to get people to put their guard down. He believed me and he said that he knows how important Iggy is to me. He said he was just as close to his Rampardos. Then he got me to go back to the gym with him. He told me that the NJ just needed somebody to watch the pokemon center while she left to visit family. I wonder what the occasion is…

We're about to leave and go back to Oreburgh City. Roark and I talked earlier and he doesn't want to fly back on Pidgeotto. I think I know why he wants to do it that way…. It will give us time to talk. He'll want answers or at least a conversation… Why can't he just be happy with how things are now? Why does he need to know about the past? Isn't it enough that we make each other happy the way things are now? I don't know if I'm ready to share this type of stuff with him. I know that it will just scare him away. 

May 23, Later

Dear Diary,

Roark is asleep…. But I just can't tonight. I feel so…. I don't know. Weird. Different. Strange. Not really sad or in a panic but not happy or calm either…. Not normal… Just in this strange state of lingo.

I spent so much of it just staring up at the stars and crying. Silent tears… I don't want to wake him. I don't want him to see me like this, so full of weakness… I told him that I'm from Vermillion City. And that was enough to stop his questions. Why didn't I lie? I could have said Safron City or Lilycove City or any number of other places, but I said Vermillion… I didn't lie. Why didn't I lie? I've done it so many times and to so many people. The truth hurts so much….

I didn't want to, but Roark made me feel so guilty for not telling him. He just looked at me and said it wasn't about me it was about trust and how he can't believe that I don't trust him. And he said he would leave me if I didn't tell him and I should have just said "Fine, have it your way" and flew away on Pidgeotto but I didn't. God, why didn't I? I am in over my head. He knows too much… He's too close to me and he can see all the cracks in the persona I created. LC Strife…. She's a far cry from Lynnette Carolina Francis Joy.

I haven't written that name in a long, long time…. My mom was the only one who used it. Everybody else just called me Lyn. Except grandma…. She called me Cära. I remember how she'd lovingly call out to me when it was time for dinner… The good memories are so few and so fleeting. I wish she was still here. We were so very close and I was crushed when she died. It was all so sudden… And afterwards my life became a living hell. My mother went crazy with stress and took it all out on me. The things she did to Iggy were just cruel…. After a point I couldn't take it any more. One day I just left. I didn't bother packing any clothes or supplies. It was just me and Iggy out on our own. And we thrived.

I don't think grandma would love who I am now. She would be disappointed in the person I've become since her death; I'm sure of it. She would say that it was all her fault too. She would say that she didn't teach me well and that as a parent she failed and that I was a reflection of that failure. I always told her "But I'm my own person! What I do isn't because of you," but she would always say "Children are a map of their parents." That's where the conversation always seemed to end… I don't think I'll ever understand unless I have children. I don't think I ever will, but there is always that possibility.

Now that I think about it, what my grandma said can be translated to pokemon too. Maybe pokemon are a map of their trainers. So what does Iggy say about me…. He is headstrong. He doesn't take guff from anybody. He is absolutely adorable. He is the cutest and most cuddly little pink guy ever hatched. He refuses to change for anybody but himself. And he can battle more fiercely than anything I've ever seen. I definitely have the trait of a strong will just like Iggy. And who doesn't enjoy a good cuddle? Pink is one of my favorite colors. I remember at the academy that I hated the drab gray and black things they had us wear, so I bought fabric and made my own version in pink. I may have been a grunt, but I was the most stylish grunt out there. I was lucky that _he_ found my choice in clothes amusing and not disrespectful…

Right now I can vividly picture what _he_ said when _he_ first saw me in my pink garb…. "Lyn, come with me." _he_ said to me while I was talking to Gail outside of the academy. Gail was in his civies and got big eyes when he saw that _he_ had talked to me. I left Iggy with Gail and followed _him_ into _his_ limo. "You seem to have a talent for catching my eye. You keep this up and you'll be elite before you even graduate from the academy…" He said to me after I sat down across from him. I didn't know what _he_ was capable of and what _his_ people did back then… My biggest regret in life is not having left without a word after our battle.

Our relationship was a complicated one. I impressed and amused _him_ and _he_ validated me. It was give and take up until I saw the type of man _he_ really was. I wonder what type of relationship Roark and I have…. I suppose that we each see something in the other we wish we had in our lives. He has a loving family and stability. In me… Roark must see a mystery, somebody who is free from such entanglements. Or not….. I really don't know what he sees in me. I don't know why he wants to be with me. Roark could do much better. I'm sure he would be much happier with Breanna than he ever could be with a girl like me.

May 24

Dear Diary,

We're back in Oreburgh City. It's nice to be home. Even Iggy seems happy to be here. I think he likes sleeping on a real bed instead of sleeping bags and tents like when we're on the road. Earlier today Iggy and I baked more cookies and then lazed about and ate them. Iggy was so, so, so, so, so cute when he did this little dance with the cookies. I love the little guy so much. And he never hurts me. Iggy is perfect.

I have so much cleaning to do now that we're back home. Dusting and things in the yard mainly… I never knew that living in one place could be so hard.

May 25

Dear Diary,

I'm sad today… Just in a lousy funk. I haven't felt this way since I lived in Vermillion and it sucks. I blame Roark for it all.

Roark has been busy since before we even stepped into Oreburgh City. If it isn't something at the mines then it's something at the gym. He has absolutely no time for me. This morning he and Stardust left before sun up and now it's practically midnight and they're not home. I feel completely rejected. He makes me feel like I mean nothing to him and that I'm the least important person in his life. We'd might as well be living 400 miles apart! If he keeps this up then I don't know how much longer I can stay with Roark… He is driving me crazy in all the wrong ways.

If this keeps up then I'm going to leave. I won't even say anything to him. I'll just disappear into the wind like I always do… 

May 25, Later

DD,

Roark brought me flowers today! And not just any bouquet of flowers, he got me a Budew! An adorable little Budew named Belami. He said that he got it from a nearby breeder and that the little guy reminded him of me. I can't believe that Roark remembered that grass is my favorite type of pokemon! You probably can't tell it from my team, but I love grass pokemon so much. They are absolutely adorable and so pretty. My grandma used to garden and the grass pokemon would come and go at their leisure. I loved watching them and all their graceful movements. And Belami smells so pretty! I can't wait until it evolves into a Roselia and Roserade because those are supposed to have a beautiful aroma that is prized by perfume makers.

Roark is so sweet and caring! Nobody has ever given me such a thoughtful gift before. This is the second pokemon that Roark has given me. He also gave me an adorable little Cranidos just after we first met. Things didn't go very well with him, though. He and Iggy didn't get along, so we don't train as often as I'd like… But he is still very much a part of my team. Just a less active part than some others. Right now he is in charge of security at my (former) house near Floaroma Town.

Tomorrow I am going to go outside and sun bathe with Belami! We'll bond and enjoy nature together. It will be grand.

May 26

Dear Diary,

Busy day! I spent all morning doing housework. Mostly laundry. It's always bitter-sweet for me to hang things outside on the clothes line… It reminds me of my grandma so very much. The anniversary of her death keeps inching closer and it becomes harder and harder for me to keep the memories out of my mind.

After I hung the clothes up to dry I sprawled out in the grass with Belami. And that's where I am now, just laying in the grass and writing in my diary. That little guy is so cute. And he gets along so well with Iggy. It always makes me happy when Iggy plays nicely with new team members. And Belami is just a cute little baby pokemon just like Iggy. Stardust seems to be a bit afraid of Belami. He may have slightly sprinkled some spores on her last night but I think he was just so excited to have a new trainer that he lost a bit of control over his power. I don't think that he did it viciously. I know that Iggy does the same thing sometimes. It's hard raising a baby pokemon because they have so much power but not always the control you see from older and more evolved pokemon. Belami means well, but I think that he won't get along well at all with Stardust… I know that Iggy doesn't, but now that he has Belami to play with things between them should get better. At least that's what I hope. They'll have each other to play with and Stardust has me and Roark. Well, mostly Roark. I'm split between my three babes. 

May 26, Later

Dear D,

I have the worst sun burn right now. All over my neck and my back…. I took my jacket off because the sun was heating me up but it was a bad move. I didn't have sun screen on the newly exposed skin and I didn't notice the burning until it was too late. Now I'm terrified that I'm going to get a farmer's tan. Few things are worse than a farmer's tan….

Roark got home at a decent hour tonight. It was nice to spend some time with him. We just lazed about on the couch and watched TV. One commercial really caught my eye. It was about a fishing contest just outside of Sunyshore City. It looks like so much fun and starts at the beginning of next month. Roark isn't very keen on the idea, but I really want to do it. It looks like so much fun! And it isn't just one where you try to catch the biggest fish. In this one you want to try to catch the most average fish. It's so original and different and I want to take part.

We made time to do something that he wanted on Iron Island, so I don't see why he doesn't want to do something that I want to do. I'll just have to be extra nice to him. I already am being extra nice since he gave me Belami, but I'll have to take it up another notch until he wants to go fishing with me.

May 27

Dear Diary,

I wish every day could be like today. Where to even begin! The weather was perfect outside. Not overly hot or overly cold and there was a slight breeze. Mid-morning I went outside with Iggy and Belami to tend berries. After I finished pulling weeds I got the hose out and decided to do some watering. And how could I water the plants without Ned there to supervise? Nothing knows water better than a Vaporeon, after all. So I was watering berries and Ned was watering berries and Iggy and Belami were in the grass doing the cutest little dance. Then, out of nowhere, Ned squirted me with some water. I used the hose and hit him back. My laughing and water war got the attention of Iggy and Belami and they took sides. Iggy went between me and Ned's water attack and Belami jumped on Ned's back. The four of us had fun spraying water at each other and playing. It was great! I had so, so, so much fun.

All the fun ended when Roark came home for lunch. It's the first time in recent memory that he did that and Ned got him with a hydro pump. Roark laughed it off and gave me a sopping wet hug, but Stardust is now completely terrified of Ned. She won't even come out of her pokeball when he's around…. But that's Stardust for you. Terrified of anything and everything that isn't Roark.

After the water fight, Ned and Belami stayed in the back yard and lazed about in the hot mid-day sun. Roark, Iggy, Stardust and I went inside. I dried off the babes and changed into some dry clothes. Then we had lunch and Roark left to go back to work. Although I think I made him return later than he would have liked… Not that he was complaining. All and all, I think that everybody had fun.

After Roark left I made cookies and brought them to the gym. Some guys were hanging out there while on a brake from working in the mines two of them asked when Roark was going to "make an honest woman" out of me. Unless things are really that different between Sinnoh and Kanto, I think they were referring to marriage. It was all in good fun, at least I think… I hope. I love Roark very much but I don't think I could ever marry him. We're from two very different worlds and the fact we've made it work for this long amazes me.

Roark got home at a decent hour too. I really appreciated it. I love it when we can just sit down and relax with each other. We were both reading books when the fishing contest commercial came on again. We talked about it and I think that Roark is warming up to the idea.

I wish that Roark would stop looking at what I'm writing! This diary is full of PERSONAL thoughts and happenings that he is not privy to.

May 28

Dear Diary,

Victory is mine! I finally got Roark to agree to go with me to Sunyshore City and the fishing contest. I am so happy, words just can't describe it. I even found my nice fishing rod in my bag! It will be perfect for catching the most average remoraid ever!

I am so excited! I didn't really expect him to give in so quickly. It did have a bit of a clause to it but I think that I gained more than he did. Well, let me start from the beginning and then maybe it will make more sense in my mind. Because the more I think of it the more I think that Roark is black mailing me.

This morning Roark got up at his normal 4 a.m. to get ready and leave for work. His alarm woke me up as always, but this time I stayed up instead of going back to bed. I went into the kitchen and sat at the table while I waited for the kettle to boil so I could have some tea. Roark just came up behind me, kissed my ear, and said that he'd go with me to the fishing contest if I told him my name. My full name. And that I could think about it and tell him what my decision was tonight. And then he grabbed his hardhat and left with Stardust.

You know, it was a really mean and jerky thing for him to do. There is no way that I'm going to let him get away with him. When he comes home tonight, I'm going to tell him that I am going to that contest with or without him and that I will tell him my name when I am ready and not a moment sooner. That'll teach him to try and blackmail me. Jerk.

May 29

DD,

Well, Roark is officially a total jerk. His jaw dropped when I told him that I was going fishing with or without him but he still refuses to go until I tell him my full and proper name. His loss. I am not backing down on this one. He can call my bluff for all I care. I am more than happy to do this alone just to prove my point. As far as Roark is concerned, my name is LC Strife. Lynnette is dead.

I cannot believe how he reacted. I don't think he expected me to say what I did at all. But I can't believe that I didn't see what a jerk he was at first either. And I probably wouldn't have if it weren't for you, my beloved diary. It's so much easier to see things when I've got them written out in front of me.

I need to clear my head. I think I'll take Belami and Iggy into the mountains for some training. I think that Belami will grow up into a great fighter if I nurture him. I think that he's ready to start some minor training and we'll see what happens. At the very least I'll have some time to figure out this entire mess with Roark. I'm sure that we'll take a break and sun bathe. I'm taking Torterra with us and on the way there I plan on sunning and thinking while Torterra moves all of us up the mountain. 

May 29, Later

Dear Diary,

Training with Belami went very well! He seems to love being in battles. In fact, he really loved teaming up with Iggy to take down a bunch of geodudes. The two of them work so well together. It makes me so happy to see that type of team work and cooperation on my team.

We're on our way home right now. I'm still not sure on the Roark situation… I don't want to go alone but I think that I need to stick with my guns. If I don't then it will give such a bad dynamic to our relationship…. Every time I want something or want to do something then he could say "Sure, but first you need to do/say/be this," and I don't think a relationship can exist there. Then it will just be him blackmailing me and me being miserable until I decide I can't take it anymore and just vanish into the wind. Doesn't he see that? I hope he does… I hope that he'll apologize. If not… I don't know. I know what I should do but I don't know if I can do it…

May 30

Dear Diary,

Roark and I fought last night. I really hope that Roark comes to his senses and backs down on this. I don't want to go alone! What if there are weird people there? What if I get lonely? I hate falling asleep without having his arms holding me tight…. It just won't be the same. I'm sure that tomorrow he'll have come to his senses and say "Let's go, I'm sorry for trying to blackmail you darling. Will you ever be able to forgive me? Here's a special little something to show you how much you mean to me. It's called a Pichu," or similar. I just need to keep my cool…. I can't let him see me panic. If he sees that then he will know that he can win and won't give in and that would be bad. Bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! I don't want things to go down that road. I just want to have a nice little vacation alone with the man I love. Is that really so much? Am I completely unreasonable?

May 31

Dear Diary,

Last night was a rough night… I made him sleep on the couch. Or rather, Strength did. I decided that I was too mad at him for what he said so while he was off doing God-only-knows what I let Strength out of his pokeball and had him guard the bedroom door. And Strength was not in a good mood about it either. I heard a crash, so Roark might have been hurt in some sort of Rhyperior-related accident. But it serves Roark right for saying those things to me last night. I had no idea that he could be so cold and heartless.

I'm still so mad about it that I haven't left the bedroom. It's getting pretty late in the morning so I really should go and do things, but I am too hurt and angry right now. Maybe I'll just leave right now. I have Pidgeotto…. I'll never have to see that jerk again. Ever. 

May 31, Later

Dear Diary,

Okay, so maybe I was a bit rash… Maybe Roark isn't a total jerk and maybe I don't want to leave him.

I didn't mean to yell last night… I hope he understands that. I hope that he'll start talking to me again at least. Like we used to talk when I first came to live with him here in Oreburgh. We would just spend hours and hours talking about nothing. I loved that. I loved hearing his voice and I loved how funny and witty he was. And he would say things that always amazed me. He'd been there and done that and he knew. He understood. At least with the things I shared…. So many things I kept to myself. He's so good and pure and wouldn't understand some things in my past. He couldn't understand the darkness… He'd never understand him and what he did to me. He'd never understand why I left my family. He'd have no point of reference and though I know he desperately wants information I cannot give it to him.

Some days I think our relationship will last forever. Other days I wonder why I even bother staying around because I know we're doomed to fail. Why must my heart be so conflicted?


	4. June

June 1

Dear Diary,

I'm heartbroken. Roark didn't budge on his demand and instead of giving in I'm just going to the fishing contest by myself. I really didn't have any other choice. He is so unreasonable! If he loves me then I don't want it to be conditional. I don't want to be in a relationship where he black mails me instead of making me feel secure enough to tell him on my own. I refuse to let him win but it's killing me at the same time.

All too often I feel like I'm the least important thing in that man's life…. 

June 1, Later

DD,

Sunyshore City is beautiful. I registered and now all I need is some more pokeballs before I really get down to the fun stuff. Right now I'm just spending some time with Iggy and Belami on the beach. It's so beautiful here… So sunny and the beach is so perfect and calm. Even Iggy and Belami seem to be enjoying themselves. I'm so happy and yet I cry… I miss him so much. I wish he didn't make me choose. I wish he knew why he'd never win…

June 2

DD,

I registered for the fishing contest yesterday. It was easy enough. I submitted my name (they didn't even ask for I.D.) and they gave me a piece of paper and a number. Each person is allowed one submission and they are looking for the most average Remoraid. There is a big.. um… I guess I'll call it a score board that has the size of all the current submissions. I'm excited to be part of it. I am determined to have plenty of fun without Roark.

Iggy and Belami are having a good time. Last night Iggy saw me crying and immediately stopped playing with Belami and came over to me for cuddles and love. It made me feel infinitely better. Iggy is such a sensitive little guy. I love him dearly and I don't know what I'd do without him. Probably go completely insane…. 

June 2, Later

Dear Diary,

The coast outside of Sunyshore City is as beautiful as ever, but I'm still sad that Roark didn't come with me. I'm having fun with the fishing contest. Iggy, Belami, Ned and I are having a great time. Especially Iggy. He loves being perched up on my shoulder while I fish. Every time that I get a bite he happily jumps up and sings the fish to sleep. It is absolutely adorable. Belami mostly basks in the sun or sleeps in my lap and Ned is somewhere in the water. It is nearly impossible to see him, though. But every now and again he'll flip a Remoraid out of the water with his tail and the fish will flop around on the shore near me. He's actually gotten quite good at it and it's always exciting because I'm never quite sure when he'll do it next. It's great to connect to my pokemon on this level. Makes me wonder why I ever needed Roark in the first place. I missed out on so much while I was stuck in Oreburgh with him.

I'm almost out of pokeballs, so I'm going into town tonight. This is turning out to be a nice little vacation. At least I know that I can still have fun without Roark. Although it wasn't easy falling asleep last night because he wasn't there…. I never really appreciated hearing him breathe until now. It was so comforting and now it's all gone…. 

June 2, Later

Dear Diary,

I'm staying with Volkner tonight. He saw me at the shop and insisted that I stay at his house and so that's where I am right now. Iggy and Belami both fell asleep while I was walking into town, so when Volkner invited me I was half asleep and carrying two snoozing baby pokemon. I wasn't in any state to argue so I just accepted his offer. When we got there I did insist that I get the couch, though. He said that he wouldn't be much of a gentleman if he slept in the bed; I told him that he wasn't much of a gentleman to begin with. So that keeps the score about even and I got my way. Life is as it should be.

Iggy is so cute when he sleeps. So very peaceful... I wish the little guy was like that all the time. But I love him no matter how he acts. Roark says that I need to keep Iggy in his pokeball more often and control him more. I think that Roark is a control freak. Iggy hates it inside of his pokeball and rarely goes in there without a very good reason. Iggy loves his freedom and he knows when to listen to me. I don't regret how I've trained Iggy and I'm not going to change it. Least of all for Roark. I love him dearly, but there are some things I will never do just because he says I should.

I miss Roark. It's hard to fall asleep without him here. I never really thought about the little things before, but I think I miss them the most. He may irritate me and I may not like some of the things he's said and done, but at the same time I care for and love him deeply. I was in love once before, I think. Although I'm not sure… It was so different. It was with one of my good friends and then somehow it turned into something more… When I left the academy I left him too because I knew he would sell me out in a heartbeat. It was a shallow type of love. We filled a void in each others life but had no real attachment to the other person. I think, at least… I rationalized it in that way so that my mind can go on…

June 3

DD,

Volkner is in the fishing contest too so we're going Remoraid fishing together. He said that he knows a good spot. Hopefully I'll catch a notably average Remoraid. Yesterday I caught a grand total of 30 of the little beasts. Hopefully I can catch more today; I bought 99 Ultra pokeballs just to be on the safe side. Hopefully I can catch a Remoraid in each and every one of them. 

June 2, Later

Oh my God! Iggy almost died today. My poor little buff had a near-death experience while we were fishing and Volkner saved him. Okay, I'm going to start from the beginning and I will omit no detail no matter how insignificant. Or at least I'll try…. My poor little buff! I'm cuddeling with him right now but I can tell that he is traumatized by the entire experience. He just isn't as pink and lively as usual and I feel like it is entirely my fault! I don't know how I'm going to finish the fishing contest because I'm so worried about him and I wonder how he'll feel if we go fishing again. Will he hate me? Does he blame me? I can see it in his big, round eyes that he doesn't blame me but I still feel so guilty like it is entirely my fault. And I keep digressing!

The group of us went fishing in this really pretty but hard to find place. Volkner swore that he knew where he was going but it took over an hour to get there. I only agreed because he said that it was supposedly teaming with Remoraid. I didn't notice it having any more than the other areas I had been but it was nice not having other people fishing in the same area. Doubly so when you consider that I have three pokemon out and running around at any given time. Ned in the water and Iggy and Belami next to me. I don't have to worry about somebody trying to hurt or steal my babies as much. Not that it's ever a concern with Iggy… He can take care of himself most of the time. But Belami I worry about. He likes to wonder off on his own and if it weren't for Iggy then he could just disappear.

So we were at this really pretty and isolated area. It was against the sea and it was on a bit of a ledge. It was at least 20 feet from where we were fishing to the waters surface. And things were really nice at first. We were talking and it was nice to talk to somebody about some of the things on my mind. He asked about Roark and why he wasn't with me. I kept it simple by telling him that we got into a fight. And he gave me a little hug and it made me feel better. It was just so uncharacteristic of him. Usually he's a bit stand-offish just like me and that is when a red flag came up in my mind. So we kept fishing and fishing and I caught about a dozen more Remoraid. They just didn't bite as often in this area as in the other place I went fishing despite Volkner insisting that there were more in this area than others.

Anyways, Volkner and I were just chatting and having fun. He is surprisingly funny and his pokemon crack me up. Although I still don't like that Raichu because of that earlier incident where it almost killed me with its shocking attack. Iggy doesn't like it either. When Volkner let it out Iggy immediately KO'd it. I apologized and gave him a revival herb. Volkner just stared from his unconscious pokemon to Iggy and back again. Like most people, I think he defiantly underestimates the power of the buff. I have this cute little pin on my bag that says "Fear the Buff" and it has Iggy on it. I actually have quite the collection of pins. Some of them I've made and painted myself and others I've gotten from people I've met on my journey. They are so pretty and so shiny. I love doing it. I'm not very artistic, but sometimes I surprise myself with how well they turn out.

Ahhh! I keep digressing. Okay, so I finished catching another Remoraid and was about to cast my line again to start the entire process. Iggy got caught on my fishing lure and as I cast the line he was thrown down into the water. At first I was freaking out because the weights pulled him under the water but then he popped up on the surface of the water coughing and crying. He was drifting further and further away from the ledge and into the sea and I was freaking. Iggy screamed and squealed out and I yelled at Ned down below to help him, but Ned was nowhere to be found. I started to panic when I saw Volkner dive into the water. He swam over and got Iggy and I was completely shocked. Iggy gave him a hug and squealed happily and I felt so relieved. My little buff was okay. He wasn't hurt and drowning and all alone and scared and then Volkner saved him. I was so relieved and happy and so, so, so, so, so many other things. Words can't really describe it.

When I got to hold him after the ordeal I felt so happy and I haven't let go of him since. He seems a bit pale and a bit off of his normal cuteness. But he seems happy and normal overall. I gave him a mix of berries and lava cookies to help him feel better and that seemed to perk him up. In the morning I might give him more…. I don't know. Maybe I should go back to Oreburgh City. Maybe we should all go home and make up with Roark and be happy. But I can't! I can't or Roark will win and I can't let him or he'll always use things like this as leverage and I don't want that to happen. Period. I absolutely can't if I expect my relationship with Roark to last. And I really want it to last. I love Roark so very much and I want to be with him forever but for that to happen I can't back down on this issue. I can't. I won't. I shouldn't! Anybody with an ounce of sense can completely agree with that. It would ruin everything.

We're camping out here tonight. I think tomorrow I'll ditch Volkner and try to decide what to do. I'm stuck staying here for now but maybe I'll just be antisocial and walk around for the rest of the contest and forget about the fishing.

June 4

Dear Diary,

We're back in the city today. Volkner thwarted my attempt to ditch him when Belami woke him up. That silly little plant… He was playing tag with Iggy while I was packing up my sleeping bag and ran right into Volkner's hair. It actually took us about ten minutes to untangle the poor little guy. Oh well, I can always ditch him tomorrow or later on today. Earlier Volkner said something about going somewhere tonight and didn't elaborate on it at all. I wonder what he's thinking… I don't like surprises and I don't particularly trust him enough to think it's anything less than an elaborately planned ambush that is part of some evil plan to take over the world.

Oh! Belami has started to do the cutest little dance every time the sun comes out from behind the clouds. He's doing it right now and it is so adorable. I think that he fancies himself as a Bellosom. Iggy dances with him too sometimes. I really need to get a camera so that I can capture those moments forever. I might actually have one somewhere in my bag. I'll have to have Iggy check tonight. He's better at finding things in my bag then I'll ever be. He's so small and can go all the way to the bottom without any trouble at all. I don't know what I'll do when he evolves. 

June 4, Later

Volkner said a funny thing tonight. "If Roark doesn't make you happy then why are you with him?" I don't have an answer to that question and that scares me. I have a lot to think about…

June 5

Dear Diary,

So why am I Roark's girlfriend? He's nice I suppose. The fact that my mom would disapprove is icing on the cake. She always used to tell me to stay away from gym leaders and never, ever, ever under any circumstance date one. I generally stayed away from the local gym leader back home. Lt. Surge was rather scary and the pokemon center was always full of pokemon that he nearly killed during gym battles. His entourage was at least as scary as he was and some were even meaner. They tended to stay away from me because of my mom but I saw how they teased some pokekids….

That's one thing going for Roark. Although…. I do wonder how fair it is for him. What if I'm only interested in him because I know that none of my relatives would approve? Wait, I take that back. My aunt would undoubtedly approve simply because Roark's from Sinnoh and she's currently in Sinnoh and it would mean that we'd be closer to each other. I miss her the most. Out of everybody I left behind she was the one who really understood me. Sometimes I wish that I had just left to live with her in Canalave City instead of running away…

I never understood why everybody told me to stay away from gym leaders. Sure, some are a bit eccentric and others just plain scare me but is that such a bad thing? Eccentricity just makes the battles more interesting. Wait, why am I even worrying about this? Roark is the most normal gym leader I've ever met. He's a bit aloof at times and he spends way too much time in the mines or at the gym but I admire his dedication. I could do a lot worse than Roark and he certainly could do worlds better than me. Just look at Breanna. She's thin, fit, and has the nicest blonde hair. When she keeps her hair down she's a regular knock-out and I can tell that there is or was something between her and Roark. I wonder if he brought me on the training trip thing just to make her jealous. That would make sense… The only thing I contribute to the gym is cookies for the miners who laze around it when they're not in the mines.

Would Roark cheat on me? I don't think so; he just doesn't seem like the type of guy to do such a thing. Then again, since when am I an expert in men and how their minds work. Iggy is the only guy that I can even remotely understand and he's just a baby. Still… How secure is he in our relationship. Maybe the better question is how secure am I in our relationship… I really don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it I feel horrible because I'm afraid that Roark and Breanna are off on a romantic candle-lit dinner in Oreburgh City because she rushed over there the moment she found out I wasn't a constant fixture in Roark's life. I can't get it out of my mind… Part of me just wants to fly back to Oreburgh City, catch him with Breanna, and break up with him so that I can rid myself of the entire problem. Another part of me thinks that I am completely insane for thinking that he'd cheat on me because we have an overall solid thing going. There is also this little nibbling thought that I should just run away from it all; cut my losses and flee into the sunset on Pidgeotto like I always do. I'm trying to be a better person than that. I'm trying…

Volkner is annoying me today. We're fishing on some route and all he wants to do is talk and I just want to think about Roark and write in my diary to help sort things out. Gah! Some people. Oh well, at least he doesn't try to read my diary. I give him points for that.

June 6

Dear Diary,

Score! I finally ditched Volkner. It was a deceptively easy plan. I had Belami come over to me with some Enigma berries and told Volkner that they're rare and that I wanted to see if there were more. He didn't really seem to care. I just grabbed all my pokemon and walked away. Now I can finally have some time to myself. No Volkner, no Roark, and no more Remoraid. I've caught about 200 of them so I'll just submit the most average one next time I'm in the area. We'll see what happens; I don't expect to win. For now I think I'll just wonder around the area outside of Sunyshore City. This is the first time Belami has really experienced hiking through the countryside and I want to make sure he gets the full experience. I also want to take him into a forest and maybe even to the lakes. Iggy loves going to the lakes so I'm sure everybody will have a great time. It's just a matter of figuring out the Roark thing…

Why did Volkner have to say that? I was happy just being mad at Roark. Now I feel so many different things. I feel hurt. I feel uncertain. I feel scared. Anger is such an easy emotion. These others aren't… I know that I love Roark because of all these emotions. I'm just not sure where I want things to go. He's really hurt me and I don't know if I can forgive him for that. 

June 6, Later

DD,

It's so beautiful outside tonight. The stars are shining in the sky. I love nights like this. There isn't a cloud in the night sky and the temperature is perfect. Iggy and Belami are even behaving. Tonight is perfect. I'm not even thinking about Roark or any of the other people complicating my life. I'm just enjoying this beautiful night…

June 7

Dear Diary,

I've been thinking about Roark non-stop since I woke up. I know that I love him and that I want to work things out but I'm not sure if we can. The way he's acting lately just makes me so sad and angry. Why doesn't he understand? Why can't he be patient with me? I'm not being unrealistic or cruel. I don't tell anybody my name. Sometimes I don't even remember it… I'm not Lynette anymore. I left everything behind, the good and the bad, and my name is included in that. Lynette no longer exists. I'm LC and that should be enough for him.

I left people I loved behind. I also left behind people I hated. Look at things today; nobody remembers Lynette. She is just a faded memory in the minds of a handful of people. Nobody cares that she is gone. Nobody cries at night because she isn't in their life. Nobody thinks about her or wonders where she is or what has happened to her over the years. She is gone from this world, never to return. And you know what? Nobody cares. It's almost as if she never existed at all.

I wish Roark would just appreciate the relationship for what it is. Why does he want it to change? Maybe I just need to take a breath and think about this. I owe it to nobody but myself to do that… I have Iggy, Belami, and Ned with me and they seem to know something is wrong. Iggy has been extra cuddly towards me and hugs me at every opportunity. I hate it when my mood affects them like this… It makes me feel like I've failed as a trainer.

It hits doubly close to home since being a pokemon trainer is the only thing I've been above average at. Even then you could argue that I'm nothing special… Gym badges mean nothing to me anymore. I haven't even bothered getting the ones here in Sinnoh because it would just be a waste of my time and energy. I have a case with all the badges I've gotten from other regions and looking at them doesn't bring me pride and it doesn't really reflect my current team. They're just proof that at one point in space and time I won one battle against one other trainer who happened to be a gym leader. It doesn't say anything about who I am now or my current capacities as a person. I will never understand why people revere badges so much when they have an arbitrary value at best... 

June 7, Later

DD,

Iggy found some old magazines in my bag and one of them has some questions that every girl should, supposedly, ask herself about a relationship. Perhaps I'll have a better idea of how things are between us if I answer them.

Does he make you happy?  
>Yes, most of the time he makes me happy. He also makes me worry and furious at times, but I think that only comes from how much I care about him. Nobody's perfect, right?<p>

Do you make him happy?  
>I'd like to think that I make him happy, but sometimes I feel like I just get in his way. His job and position as gym leader make him happier than I ever could. He cares about it so much more than he cares about me. He's dedicated and I admire that, but can you be too dedicated?<p>

Where do you see the relationship in one year?  
>I'm not sure. I think that I might possibly want him in my life but I don't know for sure or the dynamics of it. I don't think we can go back to being just friends. It would be too hard and I don't think I could handle it. So in one year we'll either be together as a happy couple or living completely separate lives. Nothing else computes in my mind…<p>

Where do you want this relationship to go?  
>That I'm not sure about… Most normal relationships progress to engagement and marriage. So am I asking myself that? I'm not sure if I can see myself married to anybody, Roark included. More importantly than that, I don't see Roark ever loving me enough to do something as crazy as asking me to marry him. No, I can't make this about him; this is about me thinking about him and not me thinking about him thinking about me. If he asked me to marry him tomorrow I don't know what I'd say. Part of me thinks that it would be a good thing but another part of me says it would be a mistake. I'll have to remember not to plan any trips with Roark to Neon Town. Not that it would ever be a problem; I'm never going back to Kanto.<p>

Do you love him?  
>Yes. If I didn't love him then my life would be so easy. I could just walk away…<p>

Is he a positive influence in your life?  
>Yes. He was so nice and helpful when I first came to Sinnoh. When he tries he can be very supportive and loving. There is also a flip side to that. Often he doesn't try and makes me feel like the least important thing in his life. He tried to manipulate me into doing something I didn't want. Given, it isn't like he tried to get me to steal the fossil regeneration machine from the museum, but he did cross a line there. Overall, when I think of Roark, positive things come to my mind first and I think they out-weigh the negative bits.<p>

How does he affect your pokemon?  
>That depends on the day and the pokemon. He seems to really like most of mine, although Strength does annoy him. 90% of that is because I've used her to barricade myself away from him on several occasions and she follows my commands to the 'T'. Roark is very, very, very close to Stardust. So much so that most people think he's her trainer. Then there's Iggy… Iggy is my most beloved friend and pokemon. Most days Roark is indifferent to Iggy and leaves him entirely to me. Other days he'll yell at Iggy and make him cry. Things definitely need to change in that department if we're going to stay together. Iggy is very important to me and if he can't accept that and treat Iggy well then there isn't a point in us staying together. That little buff is too important to me. Iggy is more important than anybody and anything else in this world. We're a notorious duo and no man is worth losing that over.<p>

What do you want to do with your life?  
>I honestly don't know. I've been running for so long that I've never given it any real thought.<p>

I don't think this helped me much… At least not nearly as much as I thought it would. This is exactly why I don't trust magazines. 

June 7, Later

Dear Diary,

Whether Roark and I stay together or not I want to get back to rebuilding my house. I don't want my awesome land outside of Flouroma Town to go to waste. I think Roark finished on the blueprints so I'll just need to hire somebody to build it. That shouldn't be very hard. I've been through enough random battles to have enough gil to buy anything I want. Even if I need more then I know of two rich people who love to give me their money. I mean, we battle and it's all official. Nothing shady, I don't force them to battle or give me their money. It's their choice. Just because they're a bit elderly does not mean that I shouldn't battle with them. Even if that was true I ran into this rich boy today when I was wondering around. He gives even more money to me than the old people do but there is only one of him... I also go to this café where rich people eat. I usually end up in double battles while I'm there and it's so fun and lucrative.

I think I'll go to my former home before I go back to Oreburgh. I never properly surveyed the damage or arranged to have things cleaned up… Yeah, it isn't like Roark would notice anyways. He is probably enjoying every second that I'm gone.

June 8

Dear Diary,

You know, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. I think that I need to simplify it instead of letting it get overly complicated. I will just list what I like and what I don't like about Roark and then the answer should be clear as a sunny day!

Things I like about Roark:  
>- He has a job<br>- He is a dedicated gym leader  
>- He can be thoughtful when he tries<br>- He gave me a beautiful necklace  
>- His smile makes me feel very happy<br>- I love falling asleep while listening to his heart beat  
>- He gives the best hugs<br>- He was so kind to me before we started dating  
>- He loves his pokemon<br>- He loves my pokemon  
>- He makes me feel loved<br>- It's so cute how he acts when I say something that catches him off guard  
>- He gave me Belami instead of bouquet of flowers<br>- He included me on the gym training trip thing

Things I dislike about Roark:  
>- How he fawns over Cleffa and ignores me<br>- The way he criticizes how I train Iggy  
>- He is a gym leader<br>- He never tells me when something is wrong  
>- He often forgets about me when we're in a group of people<br>- He easily forgets about me and my feelings  
>- He is rarely patient with Iggy<br>- He doesn't put much effort into our relationship  
>- He tries to blackmail me<br>- He won't accept me for who I am  
>- He yells at Iggy<br>- He pushes too hard for information about my past  
>- I don't trust him alone with Iggy<br>- He doesn't seem to care that I'm at this fishing contest alone  
>- He is too hard on Iggy<br>- He seems to be jealous of the bond I share with Iggy  
>- He doesn't love Iggy<br>- He makes Iggy cry  
>- He cares more about his job than he cares about me and Iggy<p>

Okay. So there are a few more things I dislike but they're considerably smaller than the things I like about him. Maybe the good outweighs the bad… Or maybe this is just as worthless as the other things I've tried. Nothing is really helping me. I'm as unsure of what to do with Roark as I was when Volkner first ruined how I thought about all of this. I am so mad at Volkner for this. Why did he have to ruin things! If I see him again then I'll toss an Iron Ball at his head. This time I won't miss either!

June 9

Dear Diary,

None of this stuff works; I'm no closer to knowing about what I want to do about Roark than I was before I left Oreburgh City. No, I knew what I was going to do when I left Oreburgh. I was going to spend some time away and he was going to realize how much he misses me and then when I came back after the fishing contest he would appreciate me. The problems came when Volkner had to muck everything up by asking me why I was dating Roark in the first place. I hope that I don't see him, but if I do then I will lay the smack-down, Igglybuff style.

Today I plan on going to the sign-in area and submitting my Remoraid. It is the second one that I caught, funnily enough. I'm not sure what I'll do with the rest… I'll probably just release them or trade them with random people. I don't think that they will be as popular as the batch of Bulbasaur I gave to all those children several weeks ago, but hopefully I can find a decent home for the little fish. 

June 9, Later

I met some people when I submitted my fish to the contest. One stood out over the others. It was some pokekid named Dan. We spent some time joking around and trash talking each other. He was actually quite nice. We also got into some deep discussions on what moves are best to teach various grass type pokemon. It was all very nice until he started giving me guff. I threw an Iron Ball in his general direction and that made him simmer down quickly. There's nothing quite like throwing an Iron Ball at a random person to relieve the stress of a long day.

I didn't think about Roark as much as I did yesterday. I was too busy being mad at Volkner, but that didn't accomplish anything besides distracting me from the real issue. I shouldn't blame him for pointing it out. I'd like to think that I'm a better person than that. I actually feel a bit bad about ditching him…

Why do I love Roark? Why did I have to fall in love with him of all people? I wish I had all the answers… I wish I had at least one of the answers. I feel so lost and alone right now. I haven't felt this way since I left the academy all those years ago. The isolation, the loneliness… The uncertainty, it's all back and just as painful as I remember. The only difference is that there is no terror this time around. I'm not dreading each and every day; I'm not in fear that I might not live through the night. That horror kept me going and kept me focused. This time there is none of it and I feel like I'm adrift in the ocean. I thought I had direction but I was wrong. I'm lost…

June 10

Dear Diary,

Life is all about perspective. How I see things and how everybody else sees things is different. I've been trying to see Roark's perspective on this. I can understand him wanting more, to a point. What I can't understand is why he would try to manipulate me to get what he wants. Is that the type of person he is on the inside? I don't want to be with somebody like that. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to trust him after this…

I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I can't just be a trainer like this forever. I can't just wonder around the world as a trainer my entire life. What meaning would that have? No, that's ho my entire family thinks. Being a pokemon trainer has plenty of meaning. The bonds you form, the battles you win, the journey… It means something. It means so much more than living your life in the same place doing the same things day after day. At least there is variety when you're a trainer. At least you get to see the world. At least you get to live. You only see pain and suffering when you're in a pokemon center. Each and every day, each one was in more pain than the last. You can't save them all either. You can do your best and everything can go perfectly but sometimes death cannot be stopped. Some people just aren't cut out for that reality each and every day. Some people can't live seeing the constant pain and suffering in this world paraded in front of them ever minute of each and every day. It truly is madness.

I thought I had forgotten. I wish I could block out all those memories. I hate Lt. Surge. I hate what he did to his opponents. I especially hated that sneer when he came into the pokemon center with his Raichu. He would see all the pokekids at the bedside of their injured Pidgey or Rattata and laughed with his cronies. What I hated the most was how he made fun of Iggy. I would be working there with Iggy perched on my shoulder and he would laugh about how a puny pokemon like Iggy would never be able to defeat his precious Raichu. Once, when we were walking by the harbor, Lt. Surge told his Raichu to electrocute Iggy. That's when we started training. We wanted to put him in his place and show him that a baby pokemon is just as capable of battling as a fully evolved one. We did just that. My mother was furious that I had gotten his badge. She wouldn't let Iggy inside unless he was in his pokeball because she claimed he was dangerous and would hurt the other pokemon. That was the last straw; we couldn't take it anymore and left soon after… Iggy is just a cute and cuddly little baby pokemon and my mom refused to acknowledge that. From the moment he hatched she was dead set against Iggy just because he was an Igglybuff. Why is it that nobody in my family ever accepted him for the cute ball of fluff he is? 99% of the time he's just your average baby pokemon. Why do most people judge him on the other 1% of the time?

We met more people today. Some wanted to battle but I had to decline. I'm just not in the mood to battle. I'm sure Iggy would like it and Belami has never been in one so it could have been a great learning opportunity for him. Maybe after he evolves… Maybe… I don't want to push him too hard to battle. He's just a baby.

June 11

Dear Diary,

I'm not sure what to do today. I'm a bit burned out on thinking about Roark so I'm just wondering the countryside with Belami and Iggy. One on each shoulder most of the time. Right now we're all riding on Torterra's shell. It's very luxurious because of the shade tree and soft brush. I love Torterra. He's been a great friend and ally since I first came to Sinnoh.

Yesterday was pretty much the same thing. Maybe I'll ride on Pidgeotto for a while to get some variety in my life. Pidgeotto has been with me for such a long time. I captured her as a Pidgey when I was studying at the academy. One class was all about the importance of transportation and everybody had to show theirs. Some people brought bikes, cars, hot air balloons, unicycles, and the like while others brought pokemon. Gail's was the funniest. Nobody believed that his Trophius could fly. Every time he told it to in class it would just ignore him and start munching on a near-by bush. All of us would laugh; he was such a goofy guy. He tried to be cool and serious with his Sneasle, but the moment he brought that dinosaur out of its pokeball he would look absolutely absurd. Wes was the worst of all; he made fun of Gail for Trophius mercilessly. He is also the only person to actually see it fly. Apparently it got one inch off of the ground and then saw a berry bush it wanted to munch on instead of flying. Or so he claimed, you never knew with those two. I was third in the trio but I joined years late. They had so many more inside jokes and quirks that were theirs only. I doubt anything could stop them from being best friends. I'm sure they're quite high up the ranks by now…

It's almost scary. Gail would recognize me if he saw me today and would kill me. No memories, no second thoughts. Things have changed so much and it makes me sad to even think about it. Leaving the academy was the second best thing I've ever done in my life. Joining in the first place was the worst… 

June 11, Later

DD,

Belami, Iggy, and I found a beautiful beach today. We were picking berries along the side of the path when Iggy and Belami went running off while playing tag. We just stumbled upon this serene place. I think we'll stay here for the night. It's so beautiful and crystal clear... The waves and the ocean seem to go on for miles and you can see it all from the cold, soft sand. I understand why people love living in this area. I completely understand why Volkner loves it so. He's surprisingly deep. That one evening we spent alone together he said so many things. It was just the two of us and the ocean. None of the walls we had built, none of the pomp and circumstance that normally surrounds our encounters. We were people. Just one person talking to another as the evening turned to night.

I respect him, but not because he's a gym leader. Volkner is… I don't know how to describe it. He is human. He is deep. He takes life in stride. Frustration, joy, passion… So many things that I wish I could feel. I envy him very much. Volkner is who I wish I could be. No, Volkner is who I was before I ran away. Frustrated but committed. He didn't just leave his responsibilities behind when he grew tired of being a gym leader. He didn't run away. Sometimes I wish I had done the same thing. How different my life would be if I had…

I wish that night had been with Roark. I wish he would open up to me and just be himself around me. I wish he would do what Volkner did and just drop the entire charade. Then maybe I'd know what I want to do. Maybe I would know if I love him or if it's just a meaningless infatuation. I have been alone for such a long time. Roark was the first person I let get closer than arms reach in so many years. And what is it all for? Was I afraid? Was I tired of being hurt? Am I a bad person? Do I love him or the thought of him? Is it Roark I love or is it the thought of having another person love me that I find so intoxicating? The man or the idea… I really don't know. I wish I knew. I wish I had answers. I wish the pain would all go away.

The moon, the tide, the waves… They bring me comfort. They will always be constant in time, even if they may wax and wane through the hours, days, months, and seasons. Is Roark the same way? Is he the same wonderful man I met so long ago, a rock in a sea of turmoil that will be there for me? Perhaps dark and hidden one night, luminous and exposed another, but always there none the less? Or is he like a drawing in the sand; lovely while it lasts but the wonder only exists for a few fleeting moments before being taken away by the tide. They call him Roark the Rock… But is Roark my rock?

June 12

Dear Diary,

It is beautiful here. In the mornings, I mean. The air is so crisp and cold. The sea breeze feels so soft and comforting on my skin. Belami and Iggy are sleeping so peacefully. They both look so happy when they're like this. Iggy looks so happy too… I wish I could draw. If I could then I would draw the two of them like this and keep this memory pristine forever…

I have to think about them first and foremost. Boyfriends will come and go but being a pokemon is forever. I can't just abandon them or do things that I know will be bad for them. As things are now, Roark doesn't treat Iggy as well as he should. Iggy is a baby pokemon and needs more patience than he's been giving. I may spoil him a bit but I'm his trainer and I am allowed to do that. If we can work out boundaries then I think we can salvage something. If not then I should cut my losses and hope I can find somebody who will respect me.

The fishing contest ends soon. I'll stop by my place and then go back to Oreburgh to face the music once it's over. I'm not sure what to expect but I'm not going to run from it. I'm done with solving my problems by running away.

Lately I've found myself wondering if it was worth it. Was leaving Vermillion worth it in the end? In a few years I would have gone to nursing school anyways. I just needed to survive a little longer with my mom… Even then I might have gotten a chance to live with my aunt. She would have taken me in. I should have just ran away to be with her. I lived in Vermillion City and she in Canalave! I could have just snuck onto a boat and been there in a few days. Everybody would have been happy. My life would have real meaning and I wouldn't be aimless wondering around the countryside like this. No.

No, no, no, no, no. I can't think like this. I made my choice and I can't doubt it now. I have to live with my decision and everything in its wake. I am LC Strife. I am a pokemon trainer and I am happy with my life. I am LC. I love Iggy and Belami and Claudene and Pidgeotto and Ned and Sinatra and Tech and Sea and Hermit and Leon and Strength and Shahra and Torterra and all my other pokemon. I wouldn't trade the world for them. I wouldn't change things. I can't even if I wanted to. I don't want to change things because my life is fine the way it is. If I hadn't run away I would have never met them and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I love being a pokemon trainer. I am happy. I am happy. I am happy. I am happy.

June 13

Dear Diary,

Writing does help. I do feel better about things now. Most of that is thanks to Iggy. That little Igglybuff always knows how to make me feel better. I did it all for him and he is worth it. He's worth all of it. All my pokemon are worth it. No regrets. I life my life with no regrets…

I am a pokemon trainer but maybe I'd be better suited to being a breeder. I loved the look on the children's faces when I gave them those little Bulbasaur… I still have so many eggs, too. Maybe I should start a farm and give worthy people some nice pokemon. Nah, that would be silly. I can't stay in one place for too long… It would be suicide. 

Then again, is staying with Roark in Oreburgh any less suicidal? He can't protect me when they find me and they would more than likely kill him too. I wish things were easy. I wish there was a simple answer. I liked it better when I never thought about these things and just lived in the moment. That's when I was happiest with Roark. Then that entire thing with the mansion and Wes… I know that they know that I'm in Sinnoh. Then again it did look like Wes had branched off on his own… He wasn't wearing one of those stupid uniforms that all the other agents wear. I'd find it hard to believe that they would allow an old couple like the one in the daycare into the organization. Then again, how would Wes get the money to set up that research if they weren't involved? But if they knew and Wes told them then why didn't they come after me when I was with Roark in Oreburgh? He's a gym leader and most people can recognize them… Wait, does the organization even have a foot in Sinnoh? They didn't back then but it's been so many years and so many things could have changed since then. This is giving me a headache. Nothing makes sense, not a single bit of it…

I wish I could tell Roark. It might make more sense to him… I just don't want to lead him down the rabbit hole. 

June 13, Later

Dear Diary,

I spent most of the day training my pokemon. Torterra even joined in with it. He's always so excited to join in and battle. I have to be careful, though. He's so big and most of my other pokemon are so small… He almost squished Belami under his foot. I do enjoy training with him, though. He and Strength had an epic throwdown on the beach. It actually garnered quite a few onlookers. I didn't notice anybody in particular, except maybe Volkner… I thought I saw him but I was too focused on my pokemon to know for sure. Several people challenged me after I had finished but I declined. I don't know what it is about Sinnoh, but since I arrived here I haven't had any interest in competitive battles.

So Volkner… I could have sworn that I saw him. At the time I thought I would catch him after the battle but by then I didn't see him anymore. However, I did see this little blonde kid with ridiculous hair. I might have mistaken him if one of the other kids running around gave him a boost up to see over the modest crowd. I chatted with him and this little brunette girl for a bit. They really thought Iggy and Belami were cute together. The girl a pretty white and red hat and I complimented her on it. She said it was Nibelheim. I have never heard of that brand. I'll have to keep my eye out for it next time I'm in Veilstone City.

An artist and her Smeargle were among the onlookers to my training battle. They made a really cool drawing of it and said that there was an art festival this fall in Floaroma Town if I was interested. I'll have to find out more next time I'm in town. I think it would be fun to go to an art festival. I didn't even know they had one; I figured that town was all about flowers and plants ever since it went from a polluted wasteland to green fields.

Right now… Right now I really wish I was back in Oreburgh with Roark. I hate waiting like this. I hate uncertainty. I wish I could just leave now and get it all over with. I'm in the worst spot. The contest ends soon so I can't go back but I feel the need to be there more than ever…

June 14

Dear Diary,

One day to go! The contest ends tomorrow and they should have results the same day. At least that's what the nice lady I talked with said. She and her Ninetails were checking in contestants and registering their entries a few days ago when I entered in my Remoraid. Hopefully I'll do well. Then I can go back and show Roark an awesome prize and tell him that he could have gotten one too if he had come with me to the fishing contest. I have no idea what prizes there will be, but I do look forward to finding out.

We're at the beach again today. It's secluded; nobody is within eye or earshot. I've let all my pokemon out to enjoy it. Ned is having fun playing with his brothers in the water. I think he likes having an advantage over the others. He practically disappears in the water and his tail lets him move faster. It's fun seeing them play. Sinatra seems to really enjoy it too. They're the only two that have evolved so far. Sea, David, and Tech have yet to evolve. They will when they're ready. Ned… Ned always loved water. I told him about the water stone and becoming a Vaporeon and he was excited about the prospect so I evolved him. Sinatra was a total surprise. We were wondering around the forest and he just evolved after a battle. Now he's a Leafeon, and a beautiful one at that. He almost disappears in the brush when I let him run wild. Sea, David, and Tech will evolve when they're ready.

Claudene seems to be doing well. Usually she's all full of attitude when I let her out but she's listening to me today. I'm very happy about that. As a Sneasle, she was such a sweetheart. So cute and great and she would listen to me. Since she evolved, though…. She found an item on the ground and wouldn't give it to me. A few nights later when we were battling she evolved into a Weavile. She had a huge personality change after she evolved. She didn't listen to me at all and is so jealous of any other pokemon I had out at the same time. Iggy was her main target… He's always by my side and she got KO'd by him more times than I'd like to admit. Iggy is small but can defend himself, even against a Weavile.

Now all of them are completely tired and either sleeping or in their pokeballs. Iggy is cuddled up on my lap and Belami is…

June 15

Dear Diary,

When I noticed Belami was missing, I nearly had a heart attack. Pidgeotto found him further down the beach moments later, but I gave him a good scolding for leaving. He can't wander off like that. He has to stay near because he's small and needs protection. He and Iggy go and explore sometimes but I know Iggy can take care of himself and any pokemon around him. Belami is just a little seedling. He looked so sad right now… I might have been a bit hard on him but I did give him a hug afterwards. I'm happy that he's safe but he has to learn somehow. This is exactly why I have a hard time disciplining my baby pokemon. They look so much more heartbroken than the older ones.

I'm going to the contest's epicenter soon. I can't wait to see the results. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that other stuff. 

June 15, Later

Dear Diary,

Well, that weird Dan kid won the fishing contest. I suppose for all his talk he backed it up with a truly average Remoraid and I can't really fault him for that. I won sixth place and got a pretty green ribbon. I donated my slightly above average Remoraid to the festival because it looked happier among its peers than it did when it was with me. Hopefully he will be good at whatever it is that the average Remoraid do during and after said festival.

Prizes were awarded and I had a tough choice. They have things like rare candy (something that Iggy loves, much to my dismay), strangely colored pokemon, and items that help with training. I chose something I haven't seen in years. It's called Sacred Ash. It is something my grandmother had back when I was young. It can heal any pokemon of anything, in or out of battle. It will help me with healing, a bit of a family trait. I care for all of my pokemon and never go to pokemon centers. Through the use of herbs, cookies, berries, and various potions I keep my team going without any help from those places. This ash will help if there is ever a serious emergency. I put it in a very special part of my bag.

Now that the fun part of the festival is over I'm going back to Floaroma Town. I don't know if I'll make it to Oreburgh before tomorrow but I will try. It's already well past noon and flying does take time. I hope Roark is doing well. I hope he misses me too… 

June 15, Later

DD,

I was completely speechless when I saw it. The remnants of my house were all gone. The area was completely free of debris and it looked like there were workers there prepping it for another building. I didn't believe it at all when I was flying on Pidgeotto. I double checked from the road and it was mine. I even saw some of the berries I had planted before the Diglett ruined things. It's just incomprehensible. And it's all Roark. Who else would do this? Who else would have the blueprints and have this queued up.

He is so, so, so sweet. He was doing this without me even knowing and has probably paid a lot of money to get it done. I never asked him to. Sure, I asked him to help with blueprints but not this. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to rebuild at first… He must really love me. I'm going back to Oreburgh right now to see him. I don't care if it takes me all night. I will see Roark and I will make sure he knows how much I appreciate everything he's done for me.

June 16

Dear Diary,

I love Roark. The moment I got home he literally swept me off my feet and told me that he loved me. He apologized and said that he missed me more than he thought was possible. He is so sweet! I started crying and told him how I felt, but I left out the part about seeing the stuff in Floaroma Town. It felt so good to feel his arms wrapped around me after so long. It's strange, but he smelled great too. I never noticed it before, but I truly love the smell of his hair.

When we were talking later on, Roark said we could go anywhere I wanted. He wants to make up for everything that happened before I left and he even said that he would drop everything for me so that we could go off and have some fun. I am very tempted to say somewhere far away, like Kanto or Hoenn, but I've never been to two of the three lakes here in Sinnoh before. Don't you think it would be fun to visit them first? I'm a bit worn out from the fishing contest so I think we'll wait a bit before going somewhere. He acted like he was ready to leave right that moment even though it was some ungodly time in the morning. I was tempted to say "Lets go to Pallet Town in Kanto right now!" but it would have been completely crazy. He would have said yes but that wouldn't have made it any more sane. God, I love Roark.

Roark spent all of today with me too. He didn't even let my Cleffa out of its pokeball and he didn't yell at Iggy once. He was really trying to make me happy and I loved every minute of it. Half the day we spent just at home lazing around the house. Then we went for a walk; just the two of us. I left Iggy with Ned and Strength. He seemed okay with it at first but when we got home Iggy and Ned were fighting. Strength was knocked out too, although I'm not sure if it was from Iggy or one of Ned's hydro pump attacks… I had a talk with all three of them. I told Iggy that I love him but that I couldn't leave him alone after the fire incident in Fortree City. I told Ned that hydro pump is not the type of attack he should be using on a baby pokemon and that it should never, ever be used inside of the house. I healed up Strength and told her that she didn't have to babysit Iggy again if she didn't want to. I'm not 100% sure, but I think that she's mad at me…

Anyways, while Roark and I were on our walk we mostly just chatted to each other. He held my hand too. I don't think I remember him doing that before. It was really great. We went up the base of the mountain and then back to his house. He smiled and said that he loved how I was still wearing that necklace he gave me. I think there is more to the necklace than that but I didn't ask. I think there are some things better left unknown… Although I am very curious about it. I'll wait until the time is right and then ask him about it.

It's so easy to forget about all the bad things in my life when I'm around Roark. He's so intoxicating at times. I love him. I love Roark. I can't imagine my life without him. How did I survive so long without having him there? I don't even want to think about it. I never realized how much I missed him until I finally came home. I love Roark. I love, love, love, love, love, love, love Roark with all of my heart and I think he loves me just as much.

Oh, and I finally have an answer to Volkner's question. Roark does make me happy. We may have the occasional fight, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him.

June 17 

DD,

Iggy has been acting out all day. I have done my best to be patient with him but I am having such a hard time… He won't stop crying. I give him a cookie and he will stop crying for a minute but the moment it's eaten my little buff just starts crying again. I can tell that Iggy didn't like being back in Oreburgh City but this… He's never acted like this before. He was pouting all of yesterday; ever since we arrived home you'd think that somebody had taken away his favorite toy. I have to do something but I don't know what. I can't give him any more berries… I just, I have to do something. Hermit could help with Hypnosis but I don't… I just don't want it to turn out like that. I don't want to do that to Iggy. I can just hear what Hermit would say if I get him out and have him help me… "Last time didn't you say it was cruel to use my powers in this way," comes to mind above all others. Ever since he evolved into an Alakazam, Hermit has had a bit of an attitude. He thinks that he's smarter than me and likes to play tricks on Iggy. The first may be true but he still needs to obey me because I'm his trainer. I have invested so much time and so much of myself into getting him to where he is now. Not to mention that I saved him from the game corner before I made my escape from… No, no, no. I'm not thinking of that right now. I have to focus on Iggy. My poor, poor little Iggy.

Belami and my other pokemon all retreated to their pokeballs within 20 minutes of Iggy throwing a fit. Except Ned… I could tell in his eyes that he wanted to use Hydro Pump on the little buff but I told him to go outside or back into his pokeball because Hydro Pump does not solve all of life's problems. I don't think he agrees with me but at least he listened and went into his pokeball… That's more than I can say about Hermit half the time.

I think I'm going crazy. Iggy just won't stop crying and writing in you isn't helping! 

June 17, Later

DD,

I finally got Iggy to calm down. Finally. It only took a few hours... A few sanity draining hours. No, I've got to keep it positive. I didn't have to use Hermit and Iggy didn't break anything I couldn't fix. He's sleeping now; that's something. The little buff is so peaceful, so quiet, so lovely right now. I love him so much like this; I wish I could draw a picture of it. I wish I had any talent as an artist.

To calm him down I made him a new toy. I took a marker and some clay and called it a microphone. He literally sang himself to sleep. I don't know what it is about Igglybuff and microphones but they really seem to like singing. He did the cutest little dance with it, too. Oh! He also did this one little pose where he held the mic in the air. I clapped and even let Shuppet out to enjoy the show. He just bounced all around the couch like it was a stage while we were on the floor. It was really, really, really cute. I love moments like that with Iggy. I love it when he's happy. I wish he would be as happy here as I am all the time…

I think I'm going to take a nap. My ears are still ringing from his crying earlier and I have the worst headache. I also have to clean things up before Roark gets home… This day will just never end.

June 18

Dear Diary,

I have the worst possible headache right now. I'm still not sure what happened. I woke up to hear Iggy screaming and I sat up and POW! I was back down and Roark was there trying to calm down Iggy but that just made it worse and… I just… I don't know. My head hurts too much to think about any of it right now. It was all such a blur.

Roark stayed home to take care of me today. I think it's doing more harm than good as far as Iggy is concerned but I love having each and every one of my whims indulged. He even made me hot chocolate with exactly 12 marshmallows and 1/3rd of the cup filled with milk shaken together, not stirred, and served to me at exactly 10 degrees above room temperature. I'm very particular about my hot chocolate. Okay, I'm not; I just wanted to see how serious he was about doing anything I wanted. He did too, which only shows how much he really cares about me. I love Roark. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Today was the first day in years that somebody has really taken care of me. I don't think that anybody has really done that since she died…

June 19

Dear Diary,

I look like a clown. Seriously! I looked in the mirror today and there is this huge red blob in the middle of my forehead. My headache is gone but I wish it was back because I didn't notice how hideous I look. Even if I had noticed it I wouldn't have cared but I have no headache and with that my self-consciousness has risen to unbearable levels. It's all I can think about… None of my makeup will cover it up. It just ended up making me look like more of a clown then when it was just a giant mark on my face. What if it doesn't go away? What if I'm stuck going through the rest of my life looking like some sort of demented clown? I don't want to go through life as a clown! Clowns scare small children and ruin lives. I don't do those things. Well, I don't think I do those things. What if I do but I just don't notice it? Gah!

Iggy either doesn't notice or doesn't care. Same with Roark… But they might just be laughing at me when I'm not looking. I wouldn't put it past either of them. I've known plenty of people that I trusted and who did the exact same thing… Even the cute and innocent looking ones can have a dark inside. Two faced and insincere people are the worst. They act like they care on the outside and try to be polite but eventually you see that they only care about furthering their own causes. People like that make me sick.

Is Roark like that… I don't think so because I would have noticed by now, right? If anything I'm holding him back. Iggy obviously isn't. He's just a cute little ball of fluff and love. Nothing but adorable cuteness and cuddles with the occasional music solo. I wonder where all that came from, then… I must be getting paranoid. I should go lie down and take a nap; my mind isn't thinking straight.

June 19, Later

DD,

I found a hat that has a veil thing on it in my bag and I'm wearing it. Now nobody can see the horror that is my face… I also found this sweet pink trench coat. It's a bit dirty but once I get the mud stains out of the cuffs it should be as good as new. I can wear it around town! Then Iggy and I will be matching. It's almost the same shade of pink as his fur.

I saw a show on TV about the three lakes here in Sinnoh. I think I want to go to Lake Verity. It looks so pretty and it's in a part of Sinnoh that I think I've only ever passed through. I never went around to shops or otherwise enjoyed being there like I did with some of the bigger cities. I think there are a few small towns and the lake, so it would be rather secluded. In fact, the closest town to the lake doesn't even have a pokemon center. I think that was what really decided it for me… That's one less thing to worry about when I just want to enjoy spending time with the most important beings in my life.

I'll talk to Roark about when we want to leave. I'm not going on vacation looking like this so hopefully he'll be okay with waiting a few weeks…

June 20

Dear Diary,

Roark said that we'll leave whenever I'm ready. Yay! We finally get to do something I want to do when I want to do it. He is being so good about this too. I think that he's more than made up for being so mean to me a few weeks ago. The time apart must have put things in perspective for both of us. I wouldn't change how things turned out because we appreciate each other more this way.

I spent most of the day in the house. There was a marathon of Dialga Who on TV. Iggy really seemed to enjoy it so we watched most of it. I must admit, it is quite good once you let it draw you in. Who would have thought that the adventures of the Dialga against the likes of a mischievous Celebi and evil Palkia would be so much fun to watch? I was a bit disappointed that Roark called during the last episode to say he was going to be late and would stop at the store to get stuff for dinner. He was a bit chatty and I missed most of the last episode! Now I'll never know what happened to the Dialga and how the trial ends. The Dialga was put on trial for "conduct unbecoming of a legendary" and The Palkia appeared and you could tell that he was going to turn things upside down but I missed it! Iggy isn't giving me any hints to what happened either…

I really liked the Dialga with the scarf and Igglybuff companion. Buffy of Shion I think… She had a cute little crown and seemed so melancholy at times. She was strong too; I couldn't help but be reminded of Iggy. Television is one aspect of modern life that Iggy and I have missed out on. You can't really bring a TV if you spend your life moving from place to place… It seems like everybody here in Sinnoh has one. I don't think I've been in a single house without a TV since I arrived here…

I think that TV is a nice little time waster. I'm almost scared by the amount of time that Iggy and I spent in front of it but I don't think I'll worry as long as it doesn't become a habit. Tomorrow I plan on hiking with Iggy in the mountains. I think he and Belami could use a good dose of fresh air. If we leave a bit early then I can just ride on Torterra and work on my tan... It might be a lost cause but I can dream. I have some cousins in the Orange Islands; they all have beautiful tans…

June 21

Dear Diary,

This is relaxing. It's just Iggy, Belami, and myself chilling with Torterra as he makes his way up the mountain. It is very relaxing. Last night I offered to let Stardust come with us but she didn't seem interested in the least. Her loss.

As soon as we get to the top I think I'll train Belami and Iggy. Iggy needs more experience in rocky terrain and Belami needs all the experience he can get. Hopefully he'll learn how to do more than just dance. But… If he doesn't that's fine too. If dancing makes him happy then I'll do my best to be supportive of it. I just don't want him to feel left out from the other pokemon. I'm all for his individuality and I'm doing my best to nurture it while making sure that he experiences enough not to feel like I pushed him to be different. I don't think that makes any sense… I just love Belami. He's a beautiful little guy and I want him to be happy. I want all of my pokemon to be happy.

June 21, Later

Dear Diary,

I have a sun burn! All over my shoulders and middle and face and everywhere else that I didn't have covered with at least 4 layers of clothing is completely burnt to a crisp. It hurts! I used some Aloe and berries to help make it feel better, but the relief is short lived. I know that Roark is laughing at me… doubly so after I told him the story about that weird pokemon that we saw while on the mountain.

Yes! How could I forget to mention that? It was so crazy. Iggy and Belami were just doing a little play battle that turned into a break dancing competition when I heard something from a near by cave. We went to investigate and this weird red thing with a bunch of arms ran past us and out of the cave. I'm not even sure if it was a pokemon. I think it was because it's big and it had at least 4 arms but it was so spindly and fast that it couldn't be a real human… I've never seen a pokemon like it either. I wonder what it was... I'll have to look through my rare pokemon book to see if there is anything like it. I'll have to look in my pokemon of legend book too. They're the rarest of the rare and may just be myths. As a kid I loved reading about them with my grandmother. She taught me how to read with a pop up book about birds. My favorite was the blue one towards the end. It was so elegant and pretty. Articuno, the freeze pokemon. Living a life of solidarity in the ice covered mountains; it appears only to doomed travelers. As I grew older my mother told me that Articuno is just the delusions that happen when people are near death, but I always liked the legend more. I'll never understand why she had to ruin whimsy for me. I don't think she ever really let me be a kid.

Roark should be home soon, so I think I'll go make dinner. Choices, choices…

June 22

My book revealed nothing. Nothing jumped out at me and made me think of yesterday… I've done my best to watch the news as much as possible since I saw it too, but it seems that nobody else saw what I did. I even went to the store this morning and got a newspaper to see if it had anything. No luck there either… It was just the same old boring things. "Roark gave a badge to some trainer" and "That one girl from the Elite Four did something boring but we're reporting on it anyways." The newspapers in Kanto were never that boring. They also had better comic strips…

While at the store I got some supplies so that I can bake things for the miners. Thus far I've made a few pies and sweet bread. As soon as the last pie cools I'll go over to the gym and see if anybody is brave enough to try it. I think that Roark said something about lunch too this morning but I'm not sure… He leaves so early and I'm always so tired. I don't know how he does it. Half the time he stays up later than I do and wakes up earlier. It makes me feel pretty worthless at times. He works so hard and what am I doing? I'm baking pies and training my Igglybuff…

June 22, Later

DD,

Stardust is really starting to get on my nerves. I do my best to tolerate her and to be patient when she doesn't listen to my commands, but it really gets under my skin when she won't listen to me but will listen to Roark when he says the exact same thing. I know that Roark really likes Stardust. I also know that if I explode on her or say anything that he'll just point to Iggy and say that I have double standards and that I'm a bad trainer and that he hates me and wants me to leave because he would rather have that Cleffa in his life than me!

I might be going a bit overboard there, but sometimes I wish that I could trade that little thing away so that it wouldn't get between Roark and me and us and whatever we are. This is all so confusing… I don't even know why Stardust started acting this way. I loved her. I did my best to train her. I just don't understand why she and Roark are so close… Other than it, my lunch with Roark was nice. It was a bit embarrassing, though. When we first met he gave me a big kiss and some of the miners around started hooting and whistling. Roark just smiled and stroked my cheek but I turned deep red and distracted the miners with baked goods. It worked, somehow. I think. I don't know, it was just one of those moments.

Roark is late getting home… I thought that I would only have enough time to vent in you about that pink thing but now I'm worried. Roark is nearly an hour late…

June 23

DD,

Roark is driving me crazy in all the wrong ways. He didn't tell me why he was late. He just said it was stuff at the mines but I know that's a lie because I called Ian and he said that he didn't know where Roark was. If Roark was at the mines then Ian would have known because he always knows these things so that he can tell kids who want to challenge the gym. I might not have freaked out if he had been late for a gym battle but he clearly wasn't and now I'm freaking out because the man I love is clearly lying to me and he must not love me because if he loved me then he wouldn't lie to me.

I don't get it. I have done everything I could to make him love me. I try to be supportive and nice… I am human and sometimes I let that show but I don't think he would like some sort of girl-shaped robot that does the dishes and cooks. Well, what if he would? Then he wouldn't have to worry about doing anything but the occasional maintenance on it instead of actually having to put effort into some sort of relationship every single day.

Why doesn't Roark love me more than a robot? I am so much better than a robot. Robots occasionally go crazy and freak out. They electrocute people and they aren't even more advanced than a trash can on wheels. Why would Roark prefer that to me? Why? I have so much more to offer and yet everything he does says that he would rather have a tin-foil trash can than me!

June 23, Later

Dear Diary,

I just reread some of the things I wrote earlier and I don't know what I was thinking. Robots? I need to stop freaking out and just analyze things. Or just leave. Would he even care if I just left? Where would I go? It might just be better if I left… I don't know if I like it here in Oreburgh anymore. My time in and around Sunyshore City was great and I loved it. It's a bit more advanced than this place. It isn't obsessed with mining and the suspended solar roads are really great. I remember when I first met Volkner and he told me all about it and how it worked. Just looking at it in theory, I would have thought that a system like that would fry anybody trying to walk on it because of how hot solar panels usually get, but city engineers have managed to find a way to make it happen. It is a great way to mix various things the city needs in one clever solution. I don't think I've seen anything quite like it in all my travels….

It's all just so confusing. Why was Roark late? Why won't he tell me? Why would he want to hide something from me?

June 24

Dear Diary,

I still don't know why Roark was late and I don't even know how to even start figuring it out. I have called everybody I could think of and they're all tight lipped. I wonder if this is because I look so hideous… I have a bump in the middle of my head and I'm still bright red from my sunburn. What if he found another girlfriend? No. No, he wouldn't do that… I am just going to try and put it out of my mind and not think about it. My weepy mood lately has been affecting Iggy in a bad way and it isn't fair to him or my other pokemon for me to act this way.

Iggy and I have spent most of the morning walking around the mountains. It was very nice. Just the two of us all alone and happy while we walked around and bonded. It reminded me of just after we left Vermillion… Just the two of us traveling around and making a life on our own terms. Maybe we should just leave everything and do that again… I could just leave all my pokemon but Iggy with Roark and just disappear.

No, I couldn't do that. I love all my pokemon so much and I couldn't just abandon them. They might never trust anybody again if that happened. All the pokemon I've traded before wanted to be traded and I talked to them about it first. It was always all about what was best for them. Not many trainers treat trading in such a way, but I've never tried to be like other trainers. I do it my own way and it works well enough for me.

Sometimes I miss Vermillion. It is a beautiful little port city. I remember how the S.S. Anne would come once every year. People would come from all around Kanto so that they could tour and battle on board the S.S. Anne before it left the port. I remember the pokemon center being so busy that my mom needed me and grandma to stay and help tend to pokemon and travelers. The last time I saw the S.S. Anne, Iggy and I were talking to one of the sailors on board. He talked about all the wonderful places that the ship would travel to and I always dreamed of traveling the world. My mom, of course, told me that I needed to get those thoughts out of my head. I was to go into the family business like everybody else and that traveling the world would not be part of that. I had to go to nursing school and then I would be assigned to a pokemon center or town or region to help the pokemon… It's not a bad life. It just wasn't what I wanted to do. I never fit in with the rest of them. Compared to the rest of my relatives I'm fat and have the worst hair… It isn't pink and straight and perfect. It's just ratty and long and is about the same color as a sick Kabutops.

I wonder where I would be right now if I had stuck with the family business….

June 25

Roark seemed so distant last night. I tried to talk to him and get him to open up to me, but he seemed distracted. Towards me, at least… He was very attentive and loving towards Stardust. Iggy could tell that this bothered me and he slightly attacked the little Cleffa. That caused a real rift between me and Roark. I said that Iggy just wanted to play and that he accidentally knocked out Stardust but Roark acted like Iggy just came up to her and knocked her out for no reason. I hate it when he acts like Iggy is a monster…

He didn't bother saying goodbye to me before he left for work even though I was clearly awake. I made him breakfast! Honestly… I don't know why I try sometimes. He doesn't even care about my feelings.

June 25, Later

Dear Diary,

My skin has finally started to peel! The sunburn doesn't hurt so much but I think that I look like some sort of decaying skeleton. Hopefully that will be done in a day or two and I'll be able to look moderately normal again. The bump on my head is healed enough that I can cover it up effectively with makeup so I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now. I think I'll get dressed up and walk around town with Iggy and Ned. I was going through my bag earlier and found the cutest sundress. I think that if I give myself a facial and keep my hair down I might actually look very nice in it.

If I remember, I got that dress when I was in the Orange Islands. I was just traveling around and getting badges and shopping and having a great time. I didn't like how hot and humid it always seemed to be on the islands but the people there were so kind. I remember a particularly surreal moment when I saw… Well, I know what I saw. I'll go get ready now so that I don't spend the rest of the morning writing in you.

June 25, Later

Dear Diary,

I've got it going on. Seriously, some random guys actually yelled some cat calls at me. I wonder if they even recognized me as Roark's girlfriend… I usually wear pink or black or some combination of the two but today I was wearing a bright orange, white, and red patterned sundress. Iggy, Ned, and I walked through town and back again. We stopped at the store to get some supplies and even chatted with a few children who had adopted some of those Bulbasaur I hatched. One had already evolved into an Ivysaur and all of them looked so happy. I even heard that several had already left on their pokemon journey, but the rest are staying until they get their first badge from Roark. They remembered me, of course, and asked if I could give the secret to beating him. I smiled and told them that I didn't even have his badge yet, but that he uses mostly rock pokemon. Little kids like that are so adorable! It reminds me of when Iggy first hatched.

I wish there was a lake or a river around Oreburgh City. I know that Ned misses being able to swim and have fun in water. He's been moping for the last few days. He really liked the fishing contest and how much he got to be in the ocean… I'm sure he'll be happy when we go on vacation to Lake Verity. It's only a few days until we leave… Which reminds me; I need to go and figure out what I need to pack for everybody.

June 26

Roark was late coming home again tonight. He was well over an hour late and he wasn't at the mine or the gym because I went there personally looking for him. I could understand it if he had a gym battle but he didn't and it wasn't some emergency at the mine or even some minor thing that some random guy wanted to talk to him about. No, that wasn't it, though. It was just like he disappeared from the city. What if Roark is cheating on me? I saw how he looked at that Breanna girl when we were training on Iron Island. What if she is in Oreburgh and they are sneaking off together and laughing their heads off at how Roark is toying with my emotions?

Everything was running smooth and everything was fine in the world but Roark was missing. Ian said so himself when I called the gym to see if Roark was there for the fourth time. It just… It just makes no sense and he isn't telling me anything and I think I'm going crazy. There are a few miners who acted like they were hiding something from me when I talked to them about Roark and Roark's location but beside that… God, why does he have to act this way? I confronted him when he finally came home but he just yelled at me for something Iggy hadn't even done and we ended up arguing and making things worse… I must be pushing him away. I should just leave. I will leave. And there is nothing Roark can do to stop me.

June 27

I love Roark. Maybe I was being a bit harsh on Roark earlier. Things might have gotten a bit heated last night but I have no doubt that he cares about me and wouldn't lie to me.

My sunburn is pretty much healed but I have no tan. All that pain was for nothing… Oh well, I'm so excited about leaving for our vacation that I don't really care. Only four days until we leave and go to Lake Verity. It's going to be so much fun. I can't even explain how I feel about it. I don't usually get this excited for things like this but I can't help it. Just the thought of me and Roark and the beach and sun… There is something about this vacation that I know will cement our relationship. It's just this crazy gut feeling I have. I love Roark and this will be great. I know it. I feel it.

Last night I felt like both of us just let out all the emotion that we had been holding inside. I've never felt closer to him than when he held me and ran his fingers through my hair. I don't know why but I really like that. It's all tangled and ratty but he still likes running his fingers through it. He said that he never really noticed it when I asked him why he did that. It just came naturally to him and he smiled. That is what I love about Roark. Little things that he doesn't even do on purpose are the ones that make me wonder how I ever lived without him.

June 27, Later

DD,

Roark was home on time tonight. Maybe I'm just paranoid and over-reacting to it all after all. There has to be something reasonable behind it all. Then again, if there was then why isn't he telling me about it? Wait, didn't he tell me last night? Maybe not… I don't know why I ever thought he did. This is all just so confusing… I love him, I know that I love Roark but sometimes I get utterly confused by the things he says and does.

June 28

I'm so stressed out right now. Part of me wants to just wants to pack my things and leave but the other part of me says that I just need to wait it out because we're going to have a magical time on our vacation that will reinforce all my feelings towards Roark and will somehow end with him proposing marriage. Things will get better. Things will get worse. He loves me. He's playing with me and my emotions. He wants to marry me. He wants to dump me. All of these things have seriously gone through my mind in the last few hours and all of them seem completely likely to happen when we're on vacation at the lake. Nothing makes sense. I know that I love Roark with all my heart. I know that I want to stay and find a way to make things work. That part of me… Until Roark somehow got thrown into my life only Iggy and my other pokemon got to see more than a glimpse of that side of me. Everybody else just saw my other side. My sensible side. The side of me that survives…

I don't know if I like this side of me or not. I just… I don't know. I don't know if I want other people to see me like that, as a real person and not just some bland trainer traveling from place to place. Things were so easy when nobody noticed or recognized me. I will never understand what Roark saw in me. Why he insisted on keeping in contact. Why he was so nice… He should have been furious at me when I fell on top of him. He should have freaked out and yelled and told me to leave Oreburgh City right then and there, but he didn't. Instead he carried me down the mountain and took me to the hospital. He took care of me and Iggy and the rest of my pokemon… He just… I don't understand it. What did I ever do to deserve such kindness? What did I ever do to deserve a great man like Roark?

June 29

DD,

Words just can't describe how I feel right now. Roark has to run an errand, but as soon as that's done we're leaving early for our vacation. He said that there was something he wanted to show me and I am so excited to see what it is. I'm as giddy as a school girl right now and so is Iggy. This must be what he was doing on all those nights he came home late. I just… I feel so bad about how I freaked out about it now but also so excited and happy about what it might be. I'm prepping Pidgeotto right now. This is wonderful!

June 29, Later

Dear Diary,

It was Roark. With the house, that is. It's almost finished too. All the walls are up and floors and all of those things… It's unbelievable. It is so classic and beautiful. I love Roark so much. We toured it and he said that all it needed was things to fill it with. I was speechless. I still don't believe it. This day has been so surreal.

We're staying here tonight. It's kinda funny how we're camping out in an empty room. Iggy likes bouncing all around the various rooms and there is a window on the upper floor that he loves to sit in and look out of. It is absolutely adorable. He fits perfectly into the windowsill. I wish I had a camera… I love this place. I love Roark and I love everything that this means for us. I don't deserve him. He is so sweet and caring and loving but what am I? I'm just lucky beyond all belief.

June 30

Dear Diary,

I'm letting Pidgeotto stretch out her wings and prep for going to Lake Verity. Roark is being so sweet and nice. He and Iggy even seem to get along. As strange as it is, it makes me so happy that the two most important dudes in my life seem to like each other. I don't remember the last time I've been this happy. I hope this feeling never goes away.

I'm sure I'll be wearing a bikini next time I write in you. I think I'm more nervous than anything about it but don't tell anybody. I'd be absolutely petrified if anybody ever knew what I write in you every day.


	5. July

July 1

Dear Diary,

Wow, where to begin… Yesterday we finally made it to Lake Verity. The first thing we did was let all of our pokemon out of their poke balls and then had a chat about safety before I let them all relax and get on with the vacation. After than Roark and I started setting up the tent. As soon as Roark and I weren't looking, the first thing Iggy did was chase Stardust around the beach. She jumped into the lake and Iggy followed, of course, but neither has a good handle on swimming. Iggy just floated in the water waving his little arms around and crying and Stardust was floundering. I had Ned fish her out of the water for me first because Iggy wasn't in any immediate danger. I was shocked when she actually gave me a real, heartfelt hug after Ned brought her back to land. I was so happy! I did feel bad, though… I was caught so off guard by how Stardust acted that I forgot to command Ned to get Iggy from the water too. I was very disappointed that he didn't just do it on his own.

I was so busy with Stardust that I didn't see Iggy in the water. As soon as I was finished with Stardust Roark needed help with the campfire so I went to help and he brought up Iggy and how well behaved he was being. I smiled and called out but I got no response. I didn't even hear him trill… I immediately commanded all the pokemon to find the little buff. Pidgeotto found him on an island in the middle of the lake. Iggy ended up floating in the water for a few too many minutes… I feel like such a bad trainer, but Iggy doesn't seem to have taken it too badly. He forgot all about it the moment he was back on land and hugging me. He's such a super trooper sometimes. After that bit of excitement it was all back to relaxing and enjoying being away from the city.

It's so nice to just see Roark unwind and be himself. He doesn't have stress from the mines or the gym or anything else. It's just Roark and just me and just all our pokemon. Everybody is getting along. Although… Most of Roark's pokemon don't like water very much. They mostly stay on the beach. Iggy is the same way. He is so buoyant that the most he can do is bob up and down in the water. It so adorable! But it can cause problems if he gets turned around or panics… Like what happened at the fishing tournament, I suppose. You know, that is two times when Ned didn't take care of Iggy in the water, now that I think about it. I'll have to have a long, heart-felt chat with him about that…

A few hours after what happened in the water, I went swimming with Iggy. I was floating on my back playing with him as he jumped up and down and into the little veil of water over my tummy. Then we splashed and Ned jumped up and playfully squirted both our faces with water. We laughed and smiled. Iggy had such a great time. Usually he and Ned are at odds, but today they seem to have somewhat bonded. So maybe he has come around…

Stardust seems terrified of the water and all the other pokemon running around, so she stayed in her pokeball almost all the time since Ned fished her out of the lake. The only one of my pokemon in her poke ball is Claudene and that is entirely because she was being mean to Roark's Geodude. I warned her that this was to be good times for all but she didn't listen. I'll let her back out tomorrow… I think her heart was in the right place. She only really started paying any attention to the Geodude after I tripped over it for the third time. Before then she just kept to herself…

Roark and I never talked about how long we'd stay here until just now. He said we'd leave whenever I'm ready. I love that man. He knows just what to say to make me smile.

July 2

Dear Diary,

I had the strangest dream last night. There was this pokemon flittering on the surface of the lake. It looked kind of like that one I saw in the forest all those years ago… I never thought I'd see anything quite like it again. This came close, but it must have been different. It was about the same size and its face was pink. The body was blue and it had two tails that trailed after it. It looked so peaceful and had this crazy head with four tentacles coming out if it. It was so beautiful and just went around the lake. It almost seemed to shimmer under the moonlight. I didn't say anything; I just remember watching it and its beautiful yet lonesome dance. Then it looked at me and seemed to smile. I didn't fear it. I didn't want to capture it. I was in awe of its splendor and it seemed to understand that. The pokemon smiled and fluttered away after that, leaving in its wake slightly perplexed joy. It was the most beautiful dream I've had in a long, long time…

July 2, Later

Dear Diary,

Today was great. Roark and I had so much fun playing in the water. Neither of us can see very well without our glasses. Roark looks so goofy without his hard hat on. His hair is all spiky and goes every which-way. Even when it's wet it somehow manages to defy gravity. I had my little band of Eevee hide his hat away somewhere. I couldn't help it; I think that Roark looks even cuter with it off and if I didn't have them hide it then he would wear it whenever he isn't in the water. I don't know why; I guess it's just his thing. I have my diary, Iggy has his microphone, and Roark has his hat. Everybody has something.

I've had a lot of time to think about myself and Roark and all the things that have happened in the past few weeks. Overall, I'm very happy with our relationship. I love Roark very much and he is so kind and loving towards me. I'll never understand what he saw in me that day we met. Maybe it was because I was a bit different then any girl he had seen before. Well, maybe I'm just kidding myself a bit, but a girl can dream. Growing up I hated being so different, but now I think that being unique is only a good thing. I don't want to be like other girls. I don't want to be like all the women in my family. I just want to be LC and I want to be loved for that. I think that Roark does love me for me and nothing makes me happier than that thought.

LATER

I didn't think of it before, but what if finishing the house is Roark's way of breaking up with me? I mean… He has a job and his position as gym leader. I don't think he is ready or willing to give his life up for me or anything else right now… If I have my farm and I live there and he lives in Oreburgh… I don't see that working. I like being around Roark every single day. I don't want to wake up cold and alone. I hated that when I was at the fishing contest. The house would just be a reminder of him too and how he isn't in my life. I never thought of it this way before, but how could he do this? How dare he build me a house. How dare he play with my emotions like this.

July 3

Dear Diary,

What a beautiful day. What a wonderful vacation. Today, Roark and I plan on going into a near by town. I'm not sure what it's called and I don't think it even has a pokemon center. How quaint. I think that today will be great. Hopefully we'll just have some time in town for just the two of us. Yes, we're trainers, but we're more than that. Our lives don't revolve around being pokemon trainers. It may seem that way at times, but there is so much more to it than that.

After spending some time really thinking it over, I don't think that Roark did the house things as a way to break up with me. It isn't like him to do that and I don't know why my mind manages to jump to such crazy things at times. But that's why I have you. I can say all the crazy things I want and nobody will ever read it. I don't think that Roark would love me if he read you. I think that he would write the word "crazy" on my forehead and run away as fast as he can.

LATER

I am the worst pokemon trainer alive. Iggy almost died because I couldn't control Ned and now he looks so bad… We can't stay here. Not with Iggy like this...

July 4

We're going back to Oreburgh early. Iggy needs to be home where I can take better care of him. I'm so worried about my little buff… I'm so mad at Ned… I hate myself so much for what has happened.

July 5

Iggy is doing a bit better. I still haven't been able to even look at Ned… I gave him to Roark to deal with. Roark tells me that none of it is my fault and that it was an accident. He says that Iggy still loves me, even if he isn't quite himself right now. I just don't know if I believe him or not…

LATER

DD,

I just noticed that I haven't eaten much at all since Iggy has his accident… I hand-feed him all the times but I haven't been taking care of myself at all. Roark is, though. He sat me down in the kitchen and wouldn't let me leave until I ate something. I don't know what I'd do without him…

July 6

DD,

Strange as it is, I think this has brought me and Roark closer. Even Stardust has mellowed out towards me. It's wonderful to feel like a family; to feel like this is beyond words. Iggy is improving but he isn't back to normal quite yet. Hopefully soon… I hope… If not then Roark says we should take him to a pokemon center. I know that Iggy wouldn't like that. I know that I don't want that. I don't know the Joy in Oreburgh, but I'm sure she's just like all the rest, though... At the very lease Iggy wouldn't like her. He never cared for any of them except for Aunt Sally. I think that is because of my mother… They never really got along. I wish I could write more… I have so much that I want to say, but I just feel too anxious to do any of it. I should have known… Iggy and water are never a good mix, at least not since Ned evolved…

*Strange scribbles and markings*

July 18

I don't even know where to begin… I've lost everything that ever really mattered to me; everything important in my life is gone. Everything! Iggy is gone. My bag is gone. Roark is gone. Even Ned and Cleffa are gone… You were gone for those few terrible weeks... How did things get to be this way? Why doesn't Iggy love me anymore?

Iggy acted like he didn't even know who I was. I've never seen him look at me that way… In his eyes I could see his horrible mixture of fear and hatred towards me. He always used to look at me in that absent-minded iggly way… I let him go back. I couldn't keep him when he looked at me that way. But I found you, at least…

I've been crying for hours because of Iggy… I'm so scared for him.. What happened to my little buff to make him forget about me? He's just a baby! He can't take care of himself. What if he trips and needs somebody to cuddle him? What if he needs cookies! Who will give him cookies if not me? And who will brush the cute little tuft of hair on his head? And who will sing him a little song so that he can fall asleep? How will he possibly survive without me? How will I survive without him?

Iggy has been my best friend since I was a kid and now he's gone. Gone! He doesn't remember me. He doesn't love me. He doesn't… He… I… It's just too much. All of this is too much…

I don't have any reason to stay in Sinnoh. I don't think I can stay in this place after everything that's happened.

July 18, LATER

I never really felt alone before because I always had Iggy. Now that he's gone… I just don't know. It hurts so much. My other pokemon try to comfort me but I feel so empty right now. I feel like my life has lost what little focus it had…

Iggy is gone. Roark is gone. I feel like everything that was important in my life has been stripped away. Right now… I feel like I'm naked and I'm far from home even though I'm in my house. Except this isn't even my house. This is Roark's house. I don't even know why I'm here. I didn't want this. I wanted to say in Oreburgh City with Roark. I wanted things to stay the way they were. But would Roark let that happen? Would he just let things be happy between us? No. He couldn't. He just had to go and ruin everything by insisting we do this and that and by surprising me and then lying to me and then acting the way he did. I feel so stupid for ever loving him. I am a fool for having trusted him. He never loved me. He never saw me as anything more than… No, I can't even say it. I don't even know if I believe it. He isn't like Gi-

July 19

I can't stay here. This house seems so empty without Roark and Iggy… I just don't know where else to go. Hermit thinks that I should go back home to Kanto. Or at least to Canalave City to see Sally… Maybe… No. I can't go back there. I have nothing left in that world. I don't have much left here either… I can't just leave Iggy alone. Even if he doesn't love me I still love him and I have to watch out for him. He's just a baby… a poor, helpless little Igglybuff who hatched practically yesterday. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was so cold and icy outside. I was on my way home; I had gotten into a fight with my mother so I a few days early. The weather got so bad that I managed to get lost in the forest. Then I found you… I slipped on a log and then I saw you. You were like a beacon in the distance. When I first approached you, I expected your mother to attack me. But nothing happened, so I grabbed you and made my way back to the path. I ran back to my grandmother's house in a snowstorm and I held you so close… I was so afraid that I had hurt you on the journey. I feared that you had gotten too cold to thrive. I was so happy when, a few days later, I saw you move. That little egg… You gave me hope. You gave me something to believe in. My mother said you would never hatch. My grandmother even had her doubts; I could tell by the way she examined you. I think she thought I was crazy when I said that your egg moved. You didn't move when anybody else was around. You only did it when the two of us were alone.

I cared for you and kept you warm. You traveled between home and the city many times before you even hatched! Few eggs were as well traveled as you. In the days before you hatched I even started to hear little squeaks and squeals from inside of your shell. I was so excited about you hatching that I couldn't sleep at all; I just spent all of my time waiting for you to hatch. It was so exciting, nothing like the Happiny egg my mother had gotten me when I turned 11. You were special. You were my little guy.

It was amazing when you broke through the shell. I was so tired but when I saw you everything changed… Oh Iggy! Why don't you remember? Why don't you love me anymore? Why did things get this bad? Why didn't you just tell me? What did I do wrong? I tried so hard to make you happy… Ever since you hatched I did my best. Wasn't that good enough? I ran away for you! I did so many things just for you and what did you do? You just left me and then you forget about me. You forget about everything I did for you. Everything I did for us…

My mother hated Iggy. He wasn't the typical pokemon that you'd see in a pokemon center, so she thought it was foolish for me to keep you. She even tried to get Lt. Surge and his crew to take you! It was horrible… We fought so much before I left. The badge was the last straw. We got into our biggest argument ever and I left. I packed my bag and snuck out in the night; it was just Iggy and I from then on out.

At first I didn't know what to do. Then I met a trainer… I think he was called AJ… Anyways, after I met him I decided to travel around Kanto to get all eight badges. I already had one, and it was one of the harder badges to obtain, so it just made sense. It wasn't easy. The first year was the hardest… I was only 14 years old and I was eating berries and avoiding the police. I couldn't stay at pokemon centers, so I mostly camped out or slept in parks or on the street. It was just Iggy and I at first, but we found a few pokemon along the way. Mewz was a lovely little meowth. Lee Chan, my hitmonlee that I won at the Dojo. Kanga and Little Kahn, they just kept following us when we went to the safari zone. Dove, the sweetest little pidgey I've ever known, was one of my favorites. She would sit on my shoulder and coo whenever we went walking around town. It would be Iggy on one side and Dove on the other… Oh, and then there was Flip-Flop, the magikarp that Gail gave me. He even got the complete kit; that kid was completely duped by that salesman. Those were such good times. As twisted as I know it is now, at the time I was truly happy there. I had friends and a purpose. I didn't feel that again until I met Roark…

July 19, Later

I miss Roark so much. I wish I hadn't yelled at him so much. For Iggy… For stealing my diary… For being so mean… I didn't mean it. I just… I don't know. I feel like such a horrible person. I don't even remember what happened. One day we were so happy and I knew that I wanted things to say that way forever. Then Iggy left and everything was so different. He was so indifferent. How would he feel if his Nosepass up and left one day? I certainly would at least try to feel some compassion for him if that happened. I don't see how somebody can be so cold when I was in so much pain.

Roark hurt me so much. I don't think he even knows how much he's hurt me. Roark is so self-centered like that. He never thinks of anybody but himself. He wasn't even the slightest bit concerned when Iggy went missing. He just told me to calm down because Iggy would come back. But he didn't. Iggy didn't come back and each hour he was gone I panicked a little bit more. Roark didn't care about Iggy and he didn't care about how it affected me. He just yelled at me and it turned into such a horrible fight. I just left… I had to find Iggy.

I feel so cold inside. I think I'll just leave here. I don't know where I'll go… I just need to get away from here. This place makes me feel worse than I deserve. It has too many memories. Too many open wounds…

July 20

Who am I? I always used to define myself as Iggy's trainer. Then I saw myself as Roark's girlfriend. What does that make ne now? Iggy hates me and Roark left me. Does that make me nobody? Am I undefined? I wish all of this was easier. I wish I knew what to do…

I left the house this morning. I've been so tired that I didn't get far before I had to get out Torterra and hitch a ride on his back. I'm lucky that I still have my sachet of poke balls with me. I don't know where my bag is but at least I have my party pokemon to keep me company. That's something…

July 20, Later

DD,

Hermit came out of his pokeball to cheer me up. I don't think it gets much worse than if a psychic pities you enough to come out and tell you that there will be other boyfriends and other pokemon. I don't think he understands. I don't want some other guy. I want Roark. Roark is perfect. Roark is who I want to be with. Roark is Roark. And Iggy… I don't think that Hermit really believed his words when he said that there would be other pokemon like Iggy. I love all my pokemon. Even Ned, after what he did… I miss Ned so much. I don't want to see his brothers. They'll remind me so much of my little Ned and my tiny little Iggy… They all remind me of Iggy. Everything reminds me of Iggy. I look at the clouds and I remember the first time Iggy and I flew through them on Pidgeotto. I look at the water and I remember the first time I showed Iggy the port in Vermillion. It happens with everything… Each poke ball. Each bit of debris in the forest. Every pokemon that I see with their trainer… It hurts so much. I never thought I could hurt this much.

I just can't leave Iggy here alone. Even if he doesn't remember me… Maybe he will again. I need to be here when he does. I'm having Shuppet keep an eye on him. Hermit suggested it when we were talking early today. I told Shuppet to stay hidden and to tell me when Iggy needed me. I hope… I pray… I need that day to come soon. So many things have come and gone in my life but I need Iggy. I've given up so much for him; to lose him now is to painful to even think about. Just the possibility of getting him back gives me hope. I need that hope right now…

July 21

Hermit says that I can't keep going on like this. He says that he'll brainwash me if he has to… I'm not sure if I believe him but I also don't want to call his bluff. Hermit has a tendency to not listen to me… Alakazam can be quite headstrong and often don't listen. I suppose I should count myself lucky; most leave their trainers when they evolve because they don't want to listen to somebody of lesser intelligence. Sometimes I wonder why Hermit sticks around…

I think I'd put my money on guilt. He would feel guilty for leaving me because I saved him from the Rocket Game Corner. Yes, back in Celadon City… I never want to go there again. We were lucky to get out of there alive and I only made it out with Iggy because of Gail. He risked everything by helping me and I have no idea what he's doing right now. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I know that I owe him my freedom. I might even owe him my mind…

What was I talking about? Right, it was Hermit. Well, Iggy and I were leaving the game corner when we found Hermit. Those horrible people thought Hermit was weak because he was a tiny Abra who spent most of his day sleeping. I couldn't just leave him there. I couldn't just let them torment him like that. I could have just snuck away with Iggy and left Hermit to fend for himself, but I knew that would make me as bad as those 'people'. I never want to be like them. If only I knew what I was getting myself when I first met him…

July 21, Later

I remember reading about Alakazam in one of my magazines. That was back when Hermit was only a Kadabra and I don't even know if he remembers it. It was the first time that one of their feature pokemon was in the evolutionary line of a pokemon on my team, so instead on reading with Hermit first. I remember laughing when it said that the girls have a moustache just like the boys. Hermit didn't find it as funny as I did, but he did learn about a move called Kinesis. I think it's his favorite move; Hermit is a magician at heart. The thing in that article that stuck with me most was when it said that an Alakazam would leave a trainer who lacked a strong will no matter how close a bond they formed in previous evolutionary stages. I just gave him a hug and said that we'll worry about it when it happens and he gave me a hug back. It was the first time I had gotten a real hug from him… Hermit and I might disagree at times, but at least he stays. At least he's there for me when I really need him…

Now that I think about it, so is Claudene. Ever since that day we met in that frozen cave… When we were at that crazy mansion to find Iggy she really went above and beyond… None of her usual attitude; she just obeyed. After she evolved things became a bit strained, but I'm at least half the problem with how things are between us now. I miss how she acted as a Sneasel and when she evolved into a Weavile things changed so much more than with any other evolutions. I think she was jealous of Iggy and that is why we drifted so far apart. She is so beautiful… So graceful when she moves. I wish I could be like that. I'm always tripping over things… Oddly enough, the things I trip on always seem to be one Geodude or another. Roark's Geodude drove me crazy like that; I swear that it would do it on purpose sometimes. So many things about him and his pokemon drove me crazy but I loved every minute of it. I was so happy…

I wish I could be happy again. I don't think I've smiled once since we took Iggy back to that mansion. Well, no… I think I did the first time I saw Roark when I found out he had my diary. Then, when he looked up at me all the rage came back and we started fighting again. How dare he read you. How dare he read my personal thoughts and violate my privacy like that. You are for my eyes only and people reading you… The thought of it makes me sick. I don't even want people I love to read you. I don't want them to know what's going on in my mind. I just don't. Just… No. Roark knows that too. I've told him when he tried looking of my shoulder when I was writing in you. I told him when he asked what you were that one time when he was going through my bag. He knew my wishes but didn't care. What kind of person does that? I'll tell you what kind of person. Somebody who doesn't care at all about the feelings of other people, that's who. Somebody who thinks only about themselves. Certainly not boyfriend material…

July 22

Hermit was being mean to me today. He said I could be as emo as I wanted as long as I ate every day. I don't see what his problem is… I'm not hungry so I don't eat. It's a simple yet effective philosophy that Hermit wants to ruin by force feeding me these yucky rations that I picked up from a weird guy in the islands… David, I think it was. He hated them and I was desperately hungry so it worked. Good times…

He was one of the few things I remember about the Orange Islands. How could I ever forget that outfit… It was skin tight and he was always talking on and on about this giant robot that would kill everybody with some guy named Frankie Jaeger. I also think he mumbled on about some crazy ninja and some cyborgs. He was totally crazy. I wish I had you back then; I would have written down everything he said. They were such fantastical stories and he told them so well. He may have been insane, but he was so nice to me. I think he's the reason why I have all those badges from the Orange Islands. I wish I remembered everything that happened in the place… It was so strange. I just woke up on a beach one day with my bag. Pidgeotto was beside me and was hurt, and all of my pokemon were safely in their poke balls. My clothes were soaked and torn. I was found by a ranger and they helped get me into town. Later, when we were at that port city, I found out the truth: it was months later than I remembered. I had weeks that were wiped completely blank. I discovered all the badges later on and Iggy tried to act out the battles for them. It was adorable in so many ways. If only that Igglybuff could talk, the stories he would tell.

The last thing I clearly remember from the Orange Islands was talking to David. He told me about all the different badges you could get in the Orange League and about the leaders. His stories were the best; even Iggy loved listening to him when he told them. David told me that one of the gym leaders was obsessed with honey and bees. He said that the man came all the way from Sinnoh with his hive to live on an island alone with his Combees and Vespiquen. He said another was a sharp shooter who was old enough to be my grandpa. He said that he used to be in the army and I thought of Lt. Surge at the Vermilion Gym. I was so surprised when he said that he knew of Surge and that they had met on the battlefield before. He didn't talk about it, though. He got kinda weird and spaced out on me when it came up…

What others were there… Oh! There was one who David said was one with grass type pokemon and could make himself invisible in the forests. That gym leader could survive in the jungle for months without eating because he could absorb light just like a plant. The only non grass type he kept with him was an evil Chatot that would goad on challengers for his badge. I think there was another one that really liked grass type… Or maybe it was spiders and bugs… David said that he was double jointed and would climb around the island and hide. You would get his badge if you could make it through his obstacle course in the forest. I heard that it was so riddled with booby traps and yucky bug type pokemon. Another was a woman who loved sharp shooting and only gave her badge to trainers who could beat her in it. Another loved fire type pokemon, but I don't remember what David said about him. Then there was the psychic one… Or were there two?

My favorite was one woman he talked about. She loved her Ninetails and lived on an

island inhabited by Growlith. She lived there all alone and was so happy. He made her sounds so… Strong. I remember thinking that I wanted to be just like her. The way he talked about her made me wish I could be strong and independent. I wish that somebody would talk about me the way that David talked about her. I wish I was a stronger person.

There were so many interesting people in his stories. I wonder if they were like that when I got those badges… I'm looking at them right now. Each one is a bit worse for wear, but with some polish and a bit of TLC they could be beautiful again. As I look at them I wonder what stories are behind them. Then I see my other badges and remember how I got them. Good feelings and bad ones… Especially from the Kanto badges… I can't stand to look at one. I know that I should throw it away but part of me won't let that happen. Part of me knows I should never forget.

I don't feel as bad now. Remembering isn't as bad as I'd told myself it would be all these years. It makes me wish I had written in you sooner because there is so much I'm sure I've forgotten…

July 22, Later

I keep forgetting that I don't have my normal bag with me. Just this little sachet with my badges and poke balls in it… I don't even have my healing supplies so I know I have to find more. For the sake of my pokemon… I just need to get my act together for their sake and my own. This isn't the end of the world. It's just the start of a new phase in my life. A very sad, sad, depressing stage in my miserable existence. Iggy made me so happy. Roark… Roark changed my world. To have both of them gone… Thinking about it hurts me so much. I try so hard not to but I'm reminded of them everywhere I go. It isn't fair. Then again, life has never been fair. If it were then I would have had two parents who loved me instead of a mother who hated me. I don't even know what I did to deserve it. I tried for years to make her love me but it was never enough. She always found something to yell at me for and sometimes it didn't even make sense. How am I supposed to spend time with my Happiny when I have chores to do that she yelled at me for not doing the moment I got home because I was trying to spend time with that thing or finish my homework? I just couldn't win with her…

I wonder if I'll ever be a parent. I never really thought about it before… I remember that when I was dating Roark that somebody in the city said that if we had kids they would probably have glasses just like me and Roark. The thought of that freaked me out so much… It wasn't the part about me and Roark so much as the feeling that I'd fail. My mother was horrible and I don't want to be like her. If I'm never a parent then I can never be bad at it… But what if I could be a good mother? What if I am more like my grandmother? She was so supportive… It's so easy to say that you'll be something but to actually do it is a different story. I don't think I'm the type who can be a parent. Not with my past… It wouldn't be fair to anybody involved.

I wonder who my father was. I never really asked mom… I knew that she wouldn't tell me. Come to think of it, I can only think of one of my cousins who's husband I ever met. I think she was from Sinnoh… They just had a baby girl. Pink hair… Go figure. All of them look the same except for me. Why did I have to be the odd one out?

July 23

I spent some extra time with Ned's brothers today. Sinatra is so beautiful… He's a Leafeon. So graceful and poised… I love grass type pokemon. He reminds me of Ned. Ned evolved first and then Sinatra. I don't know which will go next. Will it be Sea or Tech? Or will they be Eevee forever?

Ned evolving was a total surprise. Same with Sinatra, actually. The surprises were different, though. Ned evolved when he was playing hide and go seek with his brothers and Iggy. Ned hid inside of my bag but managed to get into the evolution stone pocket. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but when he went in he was an Eevee and when he emerged he was a Vaporeon. I made sure to secure that part of my bag after that. I never want an evolution to be accidental... Even if the pokemon is very happy afterwards it's best to talk to them about it first. I don't know if Ned was ready. He and Iggy were good friends when Ned was an Eevee but after he evolved Ned got annoyed by Iggy and eventually his patience ran out. It was so sad to see. Such a gradual yet destructive change…

Sinatra evolved when I was going through Eterna Forest. I just needed to clear my head and Iggy and I stumbled upon a Grotle. Iggy was asleep and Sinatra seemed restless in the forest earlier that day. I thought that a battle would help him chill and afterwards he evolved. That was quite the day; I managed to catch a Grotle and an Eevee evolved into a Leafeon. I was tickled pink by the two new additions to my party. Doubly so when you consider that both were grass type. Grass type is one of my favorites; it reminds me of my grandmother. I think she would have liked Sinatra. She had a real appreciation for pokemon and she lit up when a trainer brought a Flareon into the Pokemon Center that one time… Yeah, she would have loved that little batch of Eevee. If I had brought them home to my mom then she would have insisted we let them go after they were well, but my grandma would have encouraged me to train and keep them. She would have trusted me. She loved me.

July 23, Later

DD,

I got into some random battles today. Mostly poké kids who wanted to challenge me. I won, but it felt so empty without Iggy… He would always do the cutest little dance when we won a battle. Even if he wasn't the pokemon who won the battle he loved being on the winning team. I miss his smile… How he would puff up… The way he looked when he really wanted a hug…

I wonder what he's doing right now. Is he happy? Is he sad? I am so tempted to just teleport back there, but I just can't take more rejection from him… I love Iggy. I don't think he knows how much he hurt me. Even if he did I don't think that he would care. That hurts the most… No, Iggy not remembering all the good times hurts the most. Everything that we've been through, all the good and bad things that we survived… He doesn't remember a single one of them. If I ever find out what did that to my little buff then I will get my revenge. Mark my words, they will pay.

July 24

Dear Diary,

I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking about the first real date I had with Roark. At the time I didn't really consider it a date, but it was a date. We went out to dinner and it was wonderful… The Cranidos egg he gave me had just hatched and I was in town visiting the museum. We came back to Oreburgh City because there were some items missing from my bag, and Hermit thought they may have fallen out when I fell on the mountain. As we were searching, Sinatra found a small fossil. I wanted to give it to the museum because I didn't have any particular use for a fossil. There are plenty of useless things in my bag but a fossil was a bit much. At least I thought so… I bought a book about fossils and ancient pokemon while I was there and now I'm more interested in finding fossils and having them revived into pokemon. I had no idea that technology had advanced enough to revive a pokemon from ancient rocks.

I ran into Roark on my way out of the museum. It was so cute how he approached me. I could tell that he was nervous but once we started talking he relaxed. Then he asked me out to dinner and I said yes. I don't know what possessed me to say that. I usually stray away from people… Even when I do make plans with people, I have this tendency to stand them up… But Roark was just so different and genuine. There was just something magnetic about him, charming even. I don't remember the food or the place, but I do remember the way that Roark looked at me. I wish I wasn't so dense back then. I would have known right then and there that he adored me. At the time I just thought he was being nice …

I wonder if anybody will ever look at me that way again…

July 24, Later

Dear Diary,

I wonder if I became a Pokemon trainer for the right reasons. More than anything, I think it was a rebellion from my mom. I shouldn't have pushed Iggy to become a warrior. He was and is just a baby pokemon and they are meant for cuddles and not battle. In all my years of traveling around the world, I think I've only met a handful of trainers who keep baby pokemon on their teams. Most of them are just waiting for it to evolve so that they can be a more effective fighter. Iggy… He was always just himself.

What is the right reason to become a trainer… Most kids do it to follow their parents lead. Most of my family goes into nursing for the same reason, but is that right? Sure, they say it's to help pokemon, but did they ever give anything else a chance? I was always curious towards other things but my mother tried to quash anything that didn't directly lead me into the family business. I think she felt like a failure when I didn't follow along like a loyal daughter. I can understand that to a point, but if she had at least acted like there were other paths I could take through life things would have been different…

Why can't I focus? This isn't about my mom. This is about being a trainer. What is the right reason to become a trainer? Why do people become trainers? Some do it just because they can when they turn 10. It's an excuse to leave home and see the world. I know from my experience that some do it so they can control powerful pokemon to do evil, evil deeds… They don't see their pokemon as friends and that is so tragic… I wish I knew why I did it. It just sort of happened… Iggy was the only pokemon around and he defended me when we were in the forest picking barriers or going from the city to grandmother's house. One thing led to another and suddenly I had a gym badge and we were shunned from the Pokemon Center. Does that make me a bad person? Am I less of a trainer for not deciding one day to be a trainer but just letting it develop? Maybe I just took a different path than most… I wish Roark were here. I'd love to hear why he became a trainer. He's quite accomplished too; he has his own gym after all.

And then there are classes of trainers. What class do I fall into? I'm too old to be a youngster or any of those. I don't specialize in any specific type so I can't be any of those… I don't have a real job so I can't be any of the career classes like artist or reporter. I have no siblings and I battle alone and I don't lead anything or have any real accomplishment under my belt to be in any of those. I'm too young to be a veteran and I'm not rich enough to be a socialite… Am I even a trainer if I don't fall into a specific class?

Maybe I'm thinking too much into this. It isn't like it really matters how other people see me… Although I don't even know how I see myself most of the time. I wish I was still young. Back then I knew exactly who I was and where I was going. Now I don't have any direction at all…

July 25

Dear Diary,

I love Roark. I miss him so much. I don't see why things have to be this way. I don't see why he can't just get over himself and apologize. It isn't that hard. If he really cared for me then he would have done it by now so I'm not going to fool myself into believing that things are going to change. I just need to figure out how to get and keep him off of my mind. He isn't in my life and he isn't going to be again and the sooner I can accept that fact the sooner I can get on with my life. Although… That is much easier said than done. I can't just let go of everything that we have…

Hermit spent some time with me today. He was less mean and more supportive. At least now he's being constructive instead of just preaching to me… I love Hermit. He isn't afraid of anything. I wish I was like him… I fear being alone so much. Since I lost Roark and Iggy I've felt so alone. I have other pokemon all around me. It just isn't the same. It was just like when I was in the Pokemon Center before I found Iggy. I was never alone literally. My mom and trainers were always there. There were always pokemon around and my Happiny shadowed me before Iggy hatched. Still, I always felt alone. I always felt like I could scream at the top of my lungs but nobody would care. I don't think that people can really understand that feeling unless they've lived through it. To be alone when nobody is around is one thing. To be alone when surrounded by people is quite another.

I wish I had gone to Canalave City when I first ran away. I don't know why I decided to get those badges. I wish I remembered why I stayed away from the police and lived on the lam for years and years… What was it all for? Had I gone to Canalave then I could be a nurse by now. I could be in a Pokemon Center of my own… I would have never met Roark and he would have never broken my heart… Things would be so different right now. I wouldn't feel this way. I wouldn't be here. I would be doing something with my life instead of slowly wasting it away.

July 26

Dear Diary,

I was reading through you today. I won't lie; it was great. With each page I relived what happened. It was like I was there all over again. I felt like such a git sometimes; if only I knew then what I know now. There are so many things I would have done differently if I had the chance… I wish I started writing in you sooner. If I had started you back when I first left Vermilion City then maybe I'd know myself a bit better. Oh well, can't change the past…

I wonder what Roark read in you. I caught him reading you when I found him in the gym. I wonder how much he read… I wonder if he hates me for what I wrote… I wonder if he started at the beginning or in the middle. I hope he's like me and just opened it up and started reading. I… I read some of the entries from when we were at the lake. I was so happy and now… I know that I shouldn't be living in the past. It goes against everything I believed in when I started out from Vermilion…

Maybe Hermit is right. Things can't stay this way. I can't keep letting myself be this way.

July 27

Dear Diary,

Today was beautiful. It was sunny and the clouds all seemed happy. One or two might have been Altaria. I have my suspicions…

I don't know… I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! And I don't really care either. How sad am I? I should just walk to the nearest police station and turn myself in. That would make a few people happy, at least… That's something. I'm miserable and I don't think I'd be any more miserable if I was drug back to Kanto.

No, I can't do that to myself. If he found me… I don't even want to think about what would happen. I left that world behind and I will not be his pet. I will not let anything happen again. It was all my fault in the first place for being so blind. I won't make that mistake again. I'll just keep up the status quo and hope for the best. It isn't that bad, is it? I mean, I'm alive. I have most of my pokemon. I have a house and some land… I could have a really nice farm if I wanted to. If it weren't for the fact that Roark built that house, I'm sure that's what I'd be doing right now… So what else is there?

July 27, Later

DD,

I don't even know where I'm at anymore. I've just let Torterra go wherever he wants. I'm looking at my map of Sinnoh to decide where I want to go. Sunyshore City would be fun, but I don't want to deal with Volkner. Canalave and Oreburgh are out of the picture… Same with Floaroma Town… Maybe I could go to Veilstone City. There are plenty of things to do there. It could be fun buying some new clothes… And a new bag… You know, I think that Veilstone is the perfect place for me right now. With some luck I can be there tonight.

July 28

Dear Diary,

Well, I'm close. I'm in Solaceon Town right now. I let Pidgeotto scout out our location, but it took more time than I thought for her to get our bearings. Right now we're resting. I don't want to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary. That daycare might be empty but what happened with Wes… It sticks with me. That was the scariest thing to happen to me outside of Kanto. Any way you slice it, I get bad vibes from this place. The only lucky thing to happen around were the berries that I found. They will help with my team's stamina, so as soon as Pidgeotto has finished eating them and preening her feathers we will leave. Veilstone City isn't too far by flight. I think I'll buy a new bag first and then I'll get new clothes. I'm sure there is a nice hotel or two there… I'll get a room and figure things out. I have got to get my act together. I have a few thousand Gil on me, so if I have a bit of luck at the game corner I should be able to finance every luxury…

July 29

DD!

Jackpot! It was amazing. I've never had so much luck with a slot machine before… I managed to get 10 bonus rounds in a row! I quit after that so that I wouldn't stretch my luck! The casino was very nice to a 'high roller' like me; they gave me a brand new technical machine and my room at the hotel was taken care of. I have enough money to go shopping tomorrow and my room is paid for through the week, so I think I'll stay in Veilstone City that long. Then I'll see where the wind takes me. It's strange, but this is the happiest I've been since I lost Roark and Iggy. I love the Game Corner.

July 29, Later

Have you ever felt like screaming just for the sake of screaming? Just to see if anybody is there and if anybody cares? I don't know why, but I've had the urge to do that all day. I haven't… For obvious reasons… But… I don't know. There is something about this place. Something eerie… I have Hermit with me most of the time. He insists on it, doubly so after what happened last time I was here… I don't even want to think about that…

When I won the jackpot earlier and I got so many bonus rounds, I thought I was happy. But then when I got to my room all that happiness and the glitter faded away and I realized that nothing had changed. Some little spinning wheels didn't make me feel better. What is the point of having money when your life is empty? I know that I need it because money makes the world go 'round, but to me it's almost worthless. I almost believed that winning was a happy thing. Now I realized that it's just me running from the truth and trying to cover it up. I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. I need to stop this before I get so caught up that I honestly believe that gambling, winning, and money can make me happy in the same way that Iggy did.

July 30

Dear Diary,

Shopping so far has been great. I found another bag. It's similar to my old bag but it isn't as spacious. I got my first bag from my grandmother and it had special properties. She said that it was blessed by a pokemon that could manipulate space and it made it so that the bag was bigger inside than it was on the outside. When I was little I thought that she was just being silly and talking about the stories we used to read together. Now that I think about it, I'm sure there is more to that bag than meets the eye. When I asked a shop keeper about my old bag she though I was crazy. I never realized how rare bags like mine were… I hope Iggy takes good care of it. I hope that I get him back…

I bought a new coat. It's big and black. It has a hood so I can conceal my face or protect myself from the cold. I also found a pretty dress. It's white and flowing… Rather different from my normal, but I went for it anyways. It is beautiful and I hope that I have an excuse to wear it. I rather fancy myself as a Guardevoir when I'm in it. It's the same type of flowing design. I'm sure that it was inspired by those beautiful pokemon. If I ever get married, I want to wear a dress like this one. One where I don't walk but I glide…

Funny as it sounds, but I actually thought about that. The morning before I noticed that Iggy was gone I was just lying back in bed and imagining what our wedding would look like. I thought that Roark would have a silly grin on his face and that I would look like a beautiful porcelain doll. I'd walk down the isle with Iggy and everybody would smile when he trilled before giving me away. Then all of us would live happily-ever-after like in all those fairy tails… It's so sad to think that my future will never hold that…

July 30, Later

DD,

I was walking around town when I saw Big Brother on a TV in a store… Iggy was there and he was in my bag. He managed to find a picture… The picture… Seeing that picture brings back so many memories… Good ones and bad ones. I wonder where he's at right now. I wonder if he still remembers me… I wonder where his life has taken him in the past many years… You never forget your first love.

This is overwhelming. I just need time to think…

July 31

Dear Diary,

It's so bitter-sweet. I can't get that picture out of my mind. Gail was my best friend at the academy. He showed me the ropes and watched my back. I don't know how or why, but somehow it turned into something more. It was never meant to last, though. It seems like as soon as we realized what we had together we were torn apart. It's all such a blur… I have nightmares of what happened afterwards. I knew that he was powerless to stop it. I knew that trying to run would only make things worse for me but I couldn't have just stayed there. I couldn't have been involved in murder. Even if I didn't pull the trigger I feel so responsible for his death… It wasn't supposed to be that way. They… I don't know how I could have been so blind. It was always there and I chose not to see it…

July 31, Later

DD,

I think I need to leave the city. I need to go somewhere safe… Somewhere without electronics and TVs to bring these horrible things back into my mind. I know that I'm not a good person. I live with that fact by not focusing on it and getting on with my life. I've found happiness that way. I've managed to do things with my life. It might not be much in the end, but for a while I was an accomplished Pokemon trainer with a boyfriend and a farm and a life. That's what I want to focus on. Not that stupid little girl who ran away and got involved with that horrible organization. Not the person who let him do all those things. No, that isn't me. I've changed. I've made something out of my life.


	6. August

August 1

Dear Diary,

We flew for hours and ended up on Mt. Coronet. It is truly beautiful up here… I feel like I can hear myself think when I'm up here on the mountains. It is a bit bitter sweet because Iggy loved these mountains too, but I'm trying not to worry about him. I think that spending time in the ruins would be good for me. I think I'll try training Claudene. She has been acting differently lately… I think that there may be some respect growing between us. I'll do my best to reward this; it is something that I want to develop further with her.

One of my favorite phrases is "Actions speak louder than words." It is so true… It is so easy to say things but to back it up with actions speaks worlds about who you really are. My grandmother had a sampler on her wall with that phrase. She said that my aunt made it with her when she was learning how to do needlepoint and sew. I wish my mother had done that with me… I learned from Grandma but it would have been nice to do things like that with her instead. I don't think she could have found a reason to yell at me during it… I wasn't that bad…

August 1, Later

DD,

Claudene and Strength are having fun here on the mountain. Strength feels right at home. I received Strength in a trade, but I remember that trainer telling me that he caught her in the Safari Zone. I'm not sure which one, but I think the one in Kanto. It has rocky areas where a Rhyhorn would feel right at home. I went there once. It is so beautiful… I saw my first Dratini in that Safari Zone. It was so cute and just playing in the water. Iggy was entranced, it was a wonderful moment. I also caught Kanga there… She was beautiful and had the funniest little baby in her pouch; they were priceless. I miss them so much. I miss all my pokemon from those days… Iggy was the only one I could save…

No regrets. No regrets…

August 2

Dear Diary,

I miss Iggy… I miss how he used to sing me to sleep if I couldn't get to sleep on my own. I miss how he would do this cute little dance when he puffed up for battle. I miss so many things… It's so different not having him around. Belami misses Iggy too. He seems so sad. I blame myself for all of it. It's so hard to be attentive to the little guy when he reminds me so much of Roark and Iggy… He just reminds me too much of what I've lost.

Poor little Belami. He just can't relate to Claudene, Hermit, and Strength like he could with Iggy. The Eevee are a bit too hyper for him. I know that Sinatra and Tech scare him… I hope Belami is strong. I hope I can be strong… I keep telling myself and my pokemon that things will get better. It's just… I don't really know if any of us believe it. I know I don't. I just don't see things getting better.

I don't deserve my pokemon. I shouldn't be their trainer… I just can't do it anymore. I wake up and I'm sad. I make breakfast and I eat because I know I have to, but I'm not hungry. I make food for them but sometimes I wonder why I even bother. What is the point of it all? My life has no meaning. No Roark, no Iggy, no love… What is the point of existing anymore? I gave up so much for them… I gave up so much for Iggy. My family and life at the Pokemon Center, I left it for him. He didn't ask but I did it for him because I couldn't bear to see him hurt anymore. All those other pokemon I had to leave behind... I had time to grab one pokeball. The only one I could recognize was Iggy's and I didn't even take the time to grab others. Even if they weren't mine they would have been better off with me than in his hands. God, why did I leave them behind? Dove… Kanga… Little Kahn… Mewz… Lee Chan… Flip-Flop… Oh, my precious little Flip-Flop. You always made me smile. Nobody else liked you because they thought Splash wasn't a good move, but Iggy and I understood. We knew that one day you would be great…

What was it all for? Without Iggy… How can the sun really shiny that bright when he isn't around? How can I smile? Sometimes I wish I could just disappear. The world would be a better place without me. After all the things I've done… There are worse people than me in this world, but that doesn't ease my conscience. That doesn't change all the things I've done or make them any less horrible.

I still remember that night. It started out normally. Then Gail… Then we found Dr. Kirk and I thought that was the end, but then Wes… That gunshot will haunt my dreams until the day I die. But…. At least it made me see what Team Rocket really was. It opened my eyes in so many ways and I did manage to escape. But is this really any way to live? I'm always looking over my shoulder and wondering if today is the day they find me. I already know that Wes knows that I'm in Sinnoh. I'm sure that he still has connections with him… And I'm sure that he is still holding a grudge… The thought of it makes me ill. I need to get out of here. I need to leave Sinnoh before it's too late.

August 3

Dear Diary,

I feel like my heart left with Iggy. I've just been in a cold, dark haze since that day… I feel cold inside. Nothing gets to me, good or bad. It just happens, all in a wash of gray. I don't have any goals. I don't even care if they catch me anymore. He would get what he wants… He would just be sad that he wasn't the one to break my spirit.

I don't know what we were. I'd like to say that I was young and naïve, but there had to be more to it than that… Why did I stay unless I got something back in return? I wouldn't, nobody would. That's the real question… Why did I stay?

August 3, Later

DD,

I found some berries. I'm not familiar with them and my berry index is in my bag and my bag is with Iggy… It's a little cluster of things… I think called drupes… No, that doesn't sound right. My grandmother told me all these things; why don't I remember? It's like a Cornn Berry but without the husk and it's soft, not hard… Well, that makes it quite different, actually. No, it's nothing like a Cornn Berry. Maybe a Razz or Bluk Berry… Yes, actually. Very much like a Bluk but different color and size. They're almost musical when you hold them… What are those sections called. Drop… Droplets… Droop! It's Drupelets. I think… Oh well, who cares? It doesn't matter what they're called; that doesn't change what they are.

…

August 4

Dear Diary,

I know where I want to go; I just don't know how to get there. I'm having Pidgeotto fly around and scout for the area while I scout the land with Claudene. She really likes this terrain. It's snowy enough that she feels at home and rocky enough that she has a real challenge when wild pokemon want to battle. We're not making the best time, but hopefully we can find the ruins again. I don't remember Iggy and I having much trouble the last time…

August 4, Later

Dear Diary,

It's snowing outside. It's crazy seeing snow in August, but here in the mountains… We're so far up north that I shouldn't be surprised by how much cooler Sinnoh is than Kanto, but it's still strange to me. Maybe I should have spent less time in the islands.

Strength, Charmeleon, and I are going through a cave. Hopefully we can find another way out. At the very least, we should be able to burn some time while it snows. I get so cold when I'm out there in the snow… I suppose it doesn't help that my good winter clothes are in my bag. I was soaking wet until Charmeleon helped me become toasty warm again. He's great like that. I don't know how, but he can blow flames at me and I won't get singed at all. I don't think I ever did thank him enough for how wonderful he was when we were trapped in that mansion. I'll have to do that tomorrow before we start off. I love him very much. I love all my pokemon. Iggy wasn't the only love. We had a very strong bond, but I've always loved all of my pokemon. Each one is special to me in their own way.

The Eevee are so cute when they play. They're getting so big, too! Ned was always a bit bigger than his siblings; he truly was the pick of the litter. I was so scared that they would die like their mother when I found them, but somehow they've managed to thrive. I'll never forget the day I found them. I was on my way to Fall City when Pidgeotto and I landed to rest and eat. Iggy went off on his own to explore and I heard him trill like he was about to enter battle. I ran towards the sound and I couldn't believe my eyes when I entered the clearing. Iggy was fighting against something big and dark, almost like a shadow. He was protecting her, an Eevee. I immediately tried to help, but she was too wounded to be saved. That evil, evil thing hurt her too badly.

I held her as she drifted away. I heard her cry out one last time before she left this world. It wasn't long after that they came out. Four tiny little eeveee poked their heads out of the den she was protecting. I could tell they were young, just old enough to start walking. She must have been protecting her brood from that monster. At first they were wary of me, but they warmed up to me with time. I could tell they were sad when their mother didn't respond to their calls. I gathered the babies up and took them with me to Fall City. During the boat ride to Sinnoh I named them. The biggest one I named Ned because it just seemed to fit. Sinatra loved to yelp and make cute little noises. He is nearly as musical as Iggy. Tech got his name because he loved chewing on my electronics. While we were on the boat, he chewed up the cord to one boys laptop. Then there is Sea… I wasn't sure what to call him. I thought about calling him Stormy because of how bad the weather was outside, but it didn't fit him very well. He was very calm, very mellow. Just like the Sea back home in Vermillion City…

Iggy was jealous of them at first, but eventually he loved having some pokemon his size to play with. It was magical when they started to play.

August 5

DD,

These caves remind me of the Oreburgh Mine. Less structured, yes, but the feeling… I almost wish I had my pick so that I could dig out some fossils. I actually saw one in the rock earlier. It was of a shell… It reminded me of Roark.

I miss him terribly. I wonder what Roark is doing right now… I would guess that he's working and being a gym leader with the occasional bout of training. That would be typical Roark. I just hope he didn't just instantly moved on and found a new girlfriend… Seeing him with somebody else would hurt so much. I still love him and I don't even want to think about that because it makes me cry. I mean, if he is over me already then he must not have really cared about me at all when we were dating. That would be the worst… I always thought we had something special. Something…. Different. Ever since that craziness in the hospital we've just been us. Not Roark and LC, but us. I miss that… I miss him… I miss us…

Maybe I should just stop this facade and go back to Oreburgh City. Maybe if I apologize to Roark he would… No, I can't think like this. I just have to let go. He made his feelings perfectly clear when I was at the gym getting you back. I can't keep kidding myself and pretending like things can ever change back to the way they were before. We've both made choices and now we have to live with them. I can be happy without Roark. I know I can. I was happy before he dropped into my life and I can be happy now that he's not part of it. I can be happy. I will be happy. Even if I have to make my own happiness…

August 5, Later

DD,

I think I'm lost. This cave just seems to twist and turn all around. All these Zubat are driving me crazy and all my pokemon are getting so annoyed at them. We stopped for the night but it seems like every time I take a step away from the campfire one of them attacks me. It's crazy… I miss Iggy. He used to sing this high pitched song and they would leave us alone. He was a great little guy like that…

I think part of why we got lost is because I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about Roark and about the last time we spoke. I mean, what could he have possibly meant? And what if his opinion of things has changed? Okay, let's look at it from the beginning:

So we were at the mansion looking for my stuff when the Gengar said that Iggy had my bag and Roark had my diary. I was so enraged that I swear I was seeing red. I had Hermit immediately teleport us to Oreburgh City and I barged into the gym. Looking back at it, I think my temper got the best of me. I should have just focused on finding my BAG and not getting you back, but hind sight is 20-20…

In the gym I barked at a few of the guy. I feel bad about that. Honestly, it even made me feel bad when I was doing it, but I was so upset that it didn't register like it should have. They said that Roark was in his office and they were right. And Roark did have my diary. In fact, he was reading you as if you were the latest best seller! I felt violated and started screaming at him. I don't even remember what I said… But I know that I got you. Well, most of you…. I think that a page or two may have gotten ripped out… But that doesn't matter so much. I got the vast majority of my diary back and at the time that seemed like the only thing that really mattered. But… But what did Roark do? I remember screaming and then grabbing you… But I honestly can't remember much more than that. Roark was upset. He rarely gets riled up; his temper is always in check. But I think he yelled back. Something… something… something about answers or knowing… You know, I think I remember now. He said that he just wanted some answers. I said that he should have just asked me. He said that he did but I refused to answer. I said that I didn't trust him. But what did he say next… It had to be something important because after that I left the gym with Hermit. What was it…

He said that he didn't love me.

August 6

Dear Diary,

We made it out of the cave. No more Zubat, Golbat, or Crobat to test my sanity! I hate the caves and the mines because of them… They are the bane of my existence. There are so many and they seem to come at me or my pokemon every other step. It's ridiculous. I don't have any pokemon repellant, so each and every one had to be knocked out before we can get anywhere or accomplish anything. Then they have that attack that confuses my pokemon and I swear that sometimes they use it on me too… It's just infuriating.

I'm still not entire sure where we're at. It's somewhere in the mountains, but not in a place that I've been before. I hope that luck is on our side this time. I'm getting restless because of how long it is taking to find these ruins… I wonder what I'm doing wrong…

August 6, Later

DD,

We've quit for the night. Hopefully tomorrow we'll have better luck. Hermit says that I should calm down and let the ruins find me. I don't get it, personally. The ruins can't move at all so how will they find me? No, I have to seek them out. I think I'll fly with Pidgeotto to a different location on the other side of this ridge. We might have better luck over there…

Belami doesn't like this area. It's a bit too cold for him. Even when we have a fire set up he prefers his pokeball. It makes me so sad that we've drifted apart since Iggy left. I promise that I'll make it up to him when things are better. I don't know when they'll be better, but I will make it up to him.

I've been thinking a lot about so many different things. These mountains are a great place to think. I can understand why so many trainers cherish their time here. Just because Iggy is gone… No, no… Because Iggy is… Gah, why does this have to be so hard? It's in my mind but I just can't put it into words. I will try… That is something… I do try… Maybe… I am the same person even if I don't have Roark and Iggy. Who I am hasn't changed. Those around me have, but I am still myself. Nobody can take that away from me except myself. I won't let that happen anymore. My life isn't over. The world hasn't ended. I've adapted to worse changes than these. I am strong, I am confident, and above all else I am human. Nobody is perfect, after all. Even if there were a perfect being, I'm sure they would be quite boring and not worth associating with.

August 7

DD,

This area looks familiar. With a bit of luck and determination then we might at the ruins soon. Most of me doesn't want to stop, but I know that Hermit won't stop pestering me if we don't rest. He's just looking out for me… I'm lucky to have him. Hermit has always been a loyal Alakazam. I wonder how much I've taken him and the others for granted over the years…

Well, Hermit joined the team on the day I escaped from Celadon City. Saving him almost cost me my freedom, but he has been more than worth it since then. He is just… He is just so insightful and funny. He takes care of me when I won't take care of myself. He listens and when I need guidance he will talk. I trust him more than anybody else in my life right now.

What really amazes me is that Hermit chooses to say with me. Most Alakazam will just manipulate their trainers into releasing them within a few days of evolving, but Hermit stays. I asked him why once. He said that he likes me, he likes my pokemon, and he feels needed. Maybe I need to find a place where I am needed. I'm sure I would be happy there. I felt needed in Oreburgh City… The gym people appreciated my baking, Roark appreciated me, and I just felt like I was at home. I wish I could go back there…

August 8

Dear D,

We're at the ruins. Just… Wow. How beautiful. Just like I remembered… I just need time to think about a lot of things right now. This place is perfect for that.

The sky is so clear. The stars are bright and beautiful in the sky. I wish I could stay here and stare up at them forever. I don't think I could ever live in a place where you can't see the stars at night. I've always found something unsettling about places like that. It must be so sad for those people; when they look up at the night sky they see nothing but a dark void. I could see some starts in Oreburgh City, but they weren't as flawlessly beautiful as they are up here. In this place I can just be myself and clear my mind.

August 9

Dear Diary,

I'm not sure where I'm going next. Part of me thinks that I need to leave Sinnoh for the safety of myself and my Pokemon. Another part of me thinks that I should lay low here. I always run away when something scary happens. This time I'm not sure if I want to do that. I have a lot here in Sinnoh and I don't want to give it up. I have my house. I have Iggy. I even have Roark… Well, I had Roark. I don't know if he even cares at all and just said those things in the heat of the moment or if doesn't care and has moved on to his next floozy.

I feel kinda lonely. Part of it is not having any people around, but another part is not having Iggy. It's so lonely without a pokemon spending all its time outside of its pokeball with me… With the others it isn't the same as when Iggy was around. They are so much more independent. They go off and do their own thing; Iggy would perch on my shoulder or bounce along beside me. He would make me smile… He was one great little dude. Even when Hermit or Belami is out of their pokeball and walks with me it just isn't the same. Even if I'm on Torterra's back it just… it just feels utterly empty because Iggy isn't there with me. He was such an emotional little Igglybuff… Happy, sad, loving… You could see each and every emotion so clearly in his beautiful eyes. I fell in love with those eyes. The moment he hatched and looked at me… How could you not adore those iggly eyes? I have never seen a pokemon with eyes quite like his… Even the Jigglypuff and Wigglytuff I've seen have nothing on my little guy.

I think that I might go back to the mansion to capture Iggy. Shuppet is keeping an eye on him, so I'll know where the little guy is at. I'm sure that with the right poke ball and enough time he will remember… Or at least learn to be obedient like Claudene. But… But even if I did that it wouldn't the same. He's so different now. It's like he isn't the little guy I hatched from an egg. Hermit says I should give him time. I think I'll trust that advice. But that leaves the question of what to do next…

I've considered going on a badge run here in Sinnoh. I have in all the other regions I've been in, so it would make sense to try for more in this place. If nothing else it is something to do that will keep me moving. They've always had a hard time tracking people who are always on the move, and they might not be expecting me to be jumping all over Sinnoh. Except I would eventually have to get the Coal Badge from Roark… That would just be weird. Even if I left it for last… Oh God, and then there is the Mine Badge and Byron… He didn't like me very much when Roark and I were dating; I'd hate to see how he'd treat me now that we're not a couple. I doubt he'd even give me an official gym battle…

Well, that is one less thing I have to consider for my next adventure. Unfortunately it was also the last thing on my list…

August 10

Dear Diary,

I'm still up on the mountain and utterly unsure of what to do next. For now I'm staying up here and training. I think that with enough time and brain storming I will find something…

August 18

DD,

Oh my God! I can't believe that it's been over a week. It has been such a whirlwind that I'm not entirely surprised, but I still can't believe everything that's happened. Well, only one thing has really happened, but it is just so unbelievable that I still can't believe it. I know this isn't a dream, though. Hermit and I had a loooooong talk about that.

It's my friend Gail. Gail Soong. Gail is… Well, he was my friend from the academy and then things happened on the mountain and the stuff back in Celadon City, but you already know all of that! Gail was my best friend for years. He was funny and still is funny! It is amazing! Just catching up with Gail and talking about our academy days. It just… I can't explain it. It's just so great to have something around who I can talk to and really relate to. There are so many things I couldn't tell Roark but I can tell Gail. He knows my past so there is no need to hide it from him. He even knows my real name… That's a bit scary. There are times when even I had to think for a while to remember it. It's been so long since anybody has called my Lyn. Just… Wow.

I never knew that just talking could be so great. He remembers Professor Zarkov too. He was crazy yet brilliant. Gail told me about how everybody thinks that he is dead because of an awful car accident, but Gail thinks that somebody pulled him from the wreckage. You know, it was actually a bit strange. Just the way he was talking about it was a bit off… Then again it may be that talking about things from back then is as hard for him as it is for me.

Then somehow we started talking about Trophius and how Gail still thinks his can fly. When Gail let it out of its poke ball it just munched on near-by vegetation and stayed firmly planted on the ground, like always. Some things will never change. I'm so happy that Gail is one of them. He hasn't changed it all despite all these years. I wonder how much he thinks I've changed…

But there are still some problems… Hermit says that Gail is hiding something. I know that I've told Hermit not to probe into the minds of others without permission, but he claims that he only does it for the safety of our group. He told me that he couldn't see into Gail's mind but that he got the overall sense that he was hiding something. I can't just ask Gail about any of this. Even I know that I can't waltz up to him and ask him why my Alakazam can't read his mind. Even by my standards that is tacky and totally uncalled for. I'll just have to tread these waters with extreme caution… I trust Hermit but I also trust Gail. He is a good person.

August 19

DD,

Now that we're in the city I have more time to write in you. Right now we're staying with Gail's family in Snowpoint City. They're very nice. His little sister is adorable! Her name is Uriel and she has the cutest smile. She is thinking about going off on her own pokemon journey soon, but she isn't sure which pokemon to take. I told her to follow her heart and find a partner she can trust. I don't think she gets it just yet, but someday I hope she does. It is a good experience for people to have.

So… Well, Gail used to be a member of…the organization…and he said that he had to leave after the incident on the mountain. He just did it in a different way than I did. He faked his death so that they wouldn't go after him. He is so smart… After that he said that he traveled around before coming back to Sinnoh. He spent time training and being with his family since getting back and is even thinking about going around getting gym badges. Hermit still says that there is something fishy about it all. Apparently he can't read the minds of any of his family. I told Hermit that his family may just be on a different wavelength and that he just can't read them. Hermit wasn't convinced that was the problem. He thinks that we should leave. He says that our future is unclear around him. I think that he's just being a drama queen. Gail was probably in the group that was mean to Hermit at the Game Corner, so of course he has an aversion to him and his kin. Abra's and all of their evolutions tend to hold grudges.

Oh! I also went shopping today. They have clothes that are much better for the cool climate. I bought a new dress with leggings that keep me toasty warm. They are pink! It has a weird little poof at the bottom hem line that I think makes me look like Mrs. Clause or an elf, but it's a small price to pay for being warm.

Beyond that… Not much is happening. Oh! Except that Tech evolved. We were hiking on a frozen path just beyond the mountain and Tech got into a fight with a little snover. After the battle it happened! I was so proud of him. He is such a beautiful shade of blue and is having a lot of fun here in the frozen wilderness. Claudene loves it up here too; she really thrives in this climate. Belami isn't much of a fan, but he is starting to get used to it. When he does leave his poke ball he usually hangs around with Leon. Last night I even saw them taking a nap together. It was adorable! I wish I had the skills of an artist. I could draw some truly amazing things if I only had some talent.

August 20

DD,

Well, it has been a fun day. But a weird one… I don't know, it seems like Gail is being too friendly. He always seems interested in me and asking me questions… Then he gave me a gift, a pair of gloves that match my new dress. The color is lovely! I would have picked out the exact same pair if I had seen them, but I find it odd that he would do such a thing. And then he started talking about how my hair looks so nice when I keep it down. I'm not sure that I like this. I… I don't know…

August 20, Later

Dear Diary,

I think that I'm going crazy. Hermit brought up a very valid point when we were out training with Tech and Claudene. He thinks that I'm trying to replace Roark with Gail. At first I didn't know what to think of him saying that, but he might have a valid point. Gail… he isn't Roark. He certainly isn't as muscular as Roark. I mean, he's stronger than me but he just isn't as fit as Roark is. He has muscles but he's also kinda flabby and such… You don't notice it because of the full body snow suit he wears but you can really tell when he's in civies. I always felt so safe and secure when Roark gave me a hug but I don't get that same feeling when Gail hugs me. So many things are different… I don't know. I don't think I appreciated it before, but Gail doesn't have a job like Roark did. A very important job too! He contributed to society. What is Gail doing to contribute? Forget about that, what am I doing? This just doesn't feel right. So why am I staying? That's the real question….

August 21

Dear Diary,

Maybe I should just be more realistic towards Gail. He isn't Roark. He'll never be Roark and if I keep comparing him to Roark then nobody will be happy. At least if I give him a chance as Gail he'll have a fair chance. I keep comparing him to Roark and he'll lose every time… Roark is so perfect. I hope that he can find somebody who makes him happy. I wish that person was me but I think how things happened between us proves otherwise. If only I could go back and do it all over again… I wish all those stories about Celabi were true. I wish there was some pokemon I could catch that would take me back in time…

No, if I were to do that then I would go back further than just what happened between me and Roark. I would have gone back to when I received my last Kanto gym badge. I would have told myself to just walk away… Things would be so different right now if I had just walked away…

August 22

DD,

Okay, I've reached my last straw with Gail and I'm leaving. He tried to make me get rid of my necklace, the one that Roark gave me. I love this necklace and I'm not ready to give it up. It means so much to me, both as jewelry and as something that Roark gave me. He was way out of line! And even if I wanted to get rid of it, I would want to give it back to Roark. It wouldn't be fair of me to just give it away.

I don't know how I feel about Gail, and I don't want to make a mistake with him like I did with Roark. I'm leaving. I just can't stand this place anymore. I'm not sure where I'm going, but it certainly isn't going to be here.

August 25

Dear Diary,

I made it! I managed to make it all the way down the snowy trails and mountain by myself. I flew part of it and walked the rest because Pidgeotto needed to rest. It was invigorating!

Right now I am in Eterna City. It is a quiet place, but I like that about it. It is peaceful and I found the cutest place to stay. It's a bed and breakfast run by a very nice lady. She says that I remind her of her granddaughter. It's nice to be in a place that feels like home.

I was talking to Hermit earlier and he thinks that I should just lay low at the house until things settle down. He thinks that I make decisions for all the wrong reasons and should give myself more time to make the decision about what to do next with my life. I know that he has a point, but in all fairness I've rarely had a chance to relax. Usually these decisions are spurred by an agent finding me and me having to get the frag out of dodge before anything happened to me or my pokemon. This time… This time I guess I do have time to play with. Besides, I can't just leave Iggy at the mansion. I'll stay here in Sinnoh until I get him back, and then we can go somewhere new.

August 26

Dear Diary,

I have had an awesome day! I was checking out Eterna City and found an Herb Shop! The herbalist is a very nice lady and we spent hours talking. Ever since I lost my bag, I also lost most of the herbs and berries that I've collected to heal my pokemon, but I was able to get an entirely new set of supplies from her shop. I even had Hermit and Belami teleport back to the house with some plants so that we can start growing our own berries. Hopefully they'll be back soon…

Oh! I also spent some think thinking about what I want to do next. There are two main options that I'm considering right now. The first is that I go to the Orange Islands. It's so warm and lovely down there. There are plenty of islands that they wouldn't be able to find me. Some of them can only be reached by private boat, so I'm sure it would be safe. The other is a place called Unova. It's supposed to be a strange place filled with strange Pokemon. I think that would be interesting to go somewhere completely new. On one hand, leaving the familiar is scary. On the other hand, it would probably be safest. Then again, I don't want to stick out and I inevitably would if I went somewhere so different. But it would be good to learn new things and meet new people. I'm unsure either way and Hermit hasn't been any help in making this decision. He can be… fickle when it comes to this type of thing. The others don't have much of an opinion either way. They just care about the team being together. Hmm….. So many things to think about. I think that I'll ponder it later and just enjoy Eterna City right now.

August 27

DD,

I have so much planned today. I'm going berry hunting with my new friend Jasmine. Belami is going to tag along too! He is so excited he can barely stand still. We're supposed to go to a park and then into the woods just outside of town. It will be quite the adventure!

After that I plan on doing some training with Belami. We'll see what he can do now that he's evolved into a Roselia.

August 27, Later

Dear Diary,

Wow! What a day. It was even more awesome than I expected. Jasmine and I ran into Gardenia when we were in the park. She is the gym leader in this town and specializes in grass type pokemon. She is so knowledgeable! I couldn't believe how nice she was either. She just loved Belami and Torterra! We compared notes about grass-type pokemon! She is so knowledgeable. I love grass-types but until I came to Sinnoh I never had the chance to train any, so having somebody to give me pointers is wonderful. I told her about the group of bulbasaur I have at my farm and even offered to give her one. She was super-excited and said that she loves the little bulbs on their back. I'm going to teleport there with Hermit tomorrow to pick one out.

Oh! We went to the gym too. It is almost as lovely as Erika's gym in Celadon City, but the people seem less concerned with tradition and more concerned with their pokemon. The gym assistants are nice, too. They were doting over Belami the entire time we were there. Oh, and I met Lindsay. She recognized me as Roark's girlfriend… She thought that I was in town with him visiting his grandfather. I had no idea that Roark's grandfather lived here, and telling her that we weren't together anymore hurt. She was nice, though. We talked about guys and how fickle they can be. Her boyfriend is a miner in Oreburgh City, so I've probably met him at one time or another at the Oreburgh Gym.

Although I know she meant well, it brought some feelings to the surface that I thought I had already gotten over. Part of me misses being Roark's girlfriend. Things in Oreburgh City were… nice. They were stable. I felt like I was part of a community for the first time in years. It makes breaking up with him harder because it isn't just about Roark. It's about all of the little things that came along with being his girlfriend. I don't think I appreciated those things before. In fact, I think they may have scared me at first. It was different, but in a good way. Hermit thinks that I would feel the same way if I stayed at the farm for a few weeks. He thinks that the stability of being at home will make me feel better. I'm not so sure about that, but it is worth a try. I want to stay here for the time being. I'm stopping by the farm tomorrow, but I don't think I want to stay there too long. It just doesn't feel like _my_ home.

August 28

Dear Diary,

I'm back at the farm! Things here are actually very nice. Everybody is doing well, and some wild pokemon have even started to hang out with them. It's nice to see that they can take care of themselves when I'm not around. I always do my best to train them to be self sufficient. I think that's the best way to raise powerful pokemon. Something that needs constant supervision in order to survive won't fare well on its own. Now, I do know that guidance makes all the difference during battles, but I don't see why you have to take that approach to training and living. You never gain mutual respect that way.

Oh dear… Well, being back here I noticed that more of the eggs I found at the mansion have hatched. Most are more Bulbasaur, but there are a few new types. I believe that one is called a Larvitar. It is an ugly little thing, but very lively. He likes rooting around in the Sitrus Berry plants that are scattered around the yard. It's actually quite cute. He also likes to chase around the Budew that try to hang out around them during the day. He pulls them up by their leafy vines and tries to pin them down. A struggle usually ensues, and the little flowers run away. They're very lucky that they can run faster than the little guy! Although… One of them fought back and the little Larvitar was worse for wear. It used stun spore on him before scurrying into the woods. Luckily I had a Cheri Berry on hand to cure him. I haven't thought of a name for the little Larvitar, but I'm sure I will before too long. Hermit suggested calling him Reptar, but I think that name is much bigger than the pokemon he wants to give it to.

Another interesting hatchling is an adorable little Nincada. Nincada is a bug and ground type pokemon. It was very lucky that I was in the room tending eggs when it hatched because the first thing it tried to do was get outside to dig into the ground. I practically had to jump out of the window to stop him! I managed to comfort it while and Hermit told me that the light upset him. We went into the basement and he calmed down and we had a chance to bond. I put him in charge of keeping the Diglett away from the house. The last thing we need is another collapse… I have no doubt that he'll do a wonderful job.

The cutest of the new hatchlings is a little Rats that I call Porter. She is positively adorable! She likes to prance around and play with the other pokemon. She also helped me tend the eggs that haven't hatched yet. But the most adorable thing she does is teleport to Hermit. Hermit and I will be talking and then she just appears out of nowhere. I find it very charming, but Hermit doesn't know what to do about his admirer. At first he tried to teacher he to teleport somewhere else, but it never quite stuck. Right now I think they're in a teleportation fight of some sort. Hermit teleports somewhere on the farm, Porter follows, and Hermit teleports somewhere else. I think it's so sweet and funny how the two of them interact. I'm also grateful that Hermit is so mindful of her feelings. He could easily be mean to make her stop, but he chooses a more novel approach.

I really like Porter and think that she is a lovely pokemon, but she reminds me of Roark. I think it's her helmet… Given, her helmet is blue and Roark's helmet is red, but they are similar enough to make me sad. Roark almost always wore his helmet. It didn't matter if he was at work or not. I admired his dedication, even if I thought it was very strange at first. I suppose we all have our little quirks…

August 29

Dear Diary,

I'm on my way back to Eterna City! I decided to take the scenic route by riding on Torterra's back. It's slow going, but that gives me time to write in you!

I chose a lovely Bulbasaur for Gardenia. It's a male who likes to fight. I think that he will do well with a gym leader with that characteristic. He also gets along great with the other pokemon. I haven't seen a single Budew use a spore attack on him. I hope that Gardenia likes him. I put a lot of thought into which Bulbasaur to give her. It was between this guy and the only female Bulbasaur at the farm. I chose him over the little lady because the female Bulbasaur didn't seem interested in other grass-type pokemon. She liked playing with the other Bulbasaur, but she had a tendency to run away from stray Budew and Cherubi that she came across. I don't think she'd thrive well outside of the pack, but this little guy is very excited about the trade. Hermit assured me that he likes the idea of a new adventure.

So… Beyond the Bulbasaur decision, I spent last night thinking about what I'm going to do next. I'm very torn at the moment. Part of me wants to stay at the farm and turn it into 'my home'. Another part of me really likes Eterna City and all of the friends I've made there. For the moment I think that I'll stay in Eterna City. The farm doesn't _need_ me. It is doing very well on its own. Besides, I can ask my friends at the gym to help me design my garden. So far I've planted some berries, but I'm not sure about the overall 'flow' of the design. I think that the various aroma ladies and grass-type specialists will be able to give me valuable tips on how to do it the right way.

Beyond that… I don't know. I have a lot of mixed feelings about everything. Hermit has convinced me not to do anything rash, so I will try to take his advice. I'm just so confused and frazzled about everything that's happened. In the last few months I've gotten a boyfriend, met Wes, lost a boyfriend, met Gail, and almost died at least twice. Looking back on things, any single one of those happenings would have caused me to leave the region if they had happened a few years ago. First there was what happened on Mt. Moon and the entire ordeal that caused me to strike out on my own. Then there were the goons I encountered in Canalave City… My life would have been so much easier if I had found a way into that pokemon center… There was also the incident in Johto where I saw Wes… Wait a minute, didn't I see Gail there too? But that doesn't make sense… Gail told me that he left Team Rocket shortly after I did, but that time in Johto was at least a year after I made it out of Celadon City. I need to check with Hermit; this is really troubling me…

August 20, Later

DD,

First off, Hermit isn't sure whether or not I saw Gail. He was sick at the time with a virus… It makes me uneasy to think that I may have seen him then and that he may be tracking me now. But that wouldn't make sense… If he wanted to abduct me or do harm to my pokemon or myself then he had plenty of opportunities to do that when we were hiking in the mountains or staying in Snowpoint City. I find it hard to believe that he would pass up such a good opportunity if he is still one of them…

Well, with that ominous news aside, I am happy to report that Gardenia loves her new Bulbasaur! She says that he is perfect and will fit in just fine. He really seems to like her Jumpluff! I'm very happy that he is fitting in with his new home. She also gave me a Shiny Stone as a thank-you gift. She said that it can be used to evolve Belami into a Roserade. I can't think of a more useful gift! Belami isn't ready for evolution right now, but it is nice to know that we have the option in the future.

Overall, I'd say it was a pretty good day. With the exception of the Gail thing, it was a fabulous day! I spent time at the gym with other people who love grass-type pokemon. Lindsay even gave me a new perfume that she created with the help of her pokemon. It has a very fruity scent without being too overwhelmingly floral. I like it! Belami loves it too; he insisted that I spray some on his leaves. It was one of the cutest moments we've had since he evolved!

Well, I think that I will end the day on that lovely note. I hope I have many more moments like that tomorrow.

August 30

Dear Diary,

The girls and I had makeovers today! There is a little spa in town and we all went there for some TLC. It was heavenly! I got a massage, a manicure, a pedicure, and a mud facial treatment. I have never felt more relaxed and the old lady at the spa insists that my pores have never looked smaller. I never really noticed such things before, but she seemed very pleased with herself afterwards.

After the spa we went to the salon next door. I only wanted to get a slight trim, but they talked me into something a bit more drastic. They did an entire treatment, dye, and cut. I don't believe that the stuff on my head is _my_ hair. It just looks so different! It isn't frizzy, it has highlights, and it just flows around my face in the nicest way. Belami didn't recognize me after he saw my new 'do!

The last part of our adventure was a shopping trip. The selection wasn't as gigantic as the department store, but I found the cutest dress. It is a lovely blue color that I never would have tried on, but Gardenia and Lindsay both insisted that I give it a try. It has a halter top with a wide, shimmery silver belt covering my midriff before it slightly flares out into a skirt. The skirt's hem hits me just below the knee, so it doesn't make me look like a hoochie-mamma. I don't normally wear things that don't have some type of sleeve or back, but everybody thought the dress looked killer on me! I am so excited to try something new. I feel like an entirely new person right now. It's wonderful!

August 31

Dear Diary,

I almost feel silly looking in the mirror right now. I love the look, but I just don't see how it will work with my responsibilities on the farm. It works out great here because I don't have to battle or dig in the dirt, but at home I don't think I can keep this up. But… Well, it is kinda nice to try something different for a change. At the very least I have something nice to wear while I stay here. At the very least I'm going to try to keep my hair looking this good. I think that anything is an improvement over the tangled mess I had before.

I think that I'll get ready and have some tea with Hermit. I think that it's time that we catch up on a few things, like the Iggy situation and the Wes/Gail problem…

August 31, Later

DD,

I am beyond angry right now! I can't believe that he would do that! Now Hermit and I are in trouble because he is a hot-head who attacked ME! I am so livid I can barely write. You know what, this isn't helping. I need to go blow off some steam!


	7. September

September 1

DD,

I am still livid about yesterday, but at least I feel like I sit still without exploding. That is a significant improvement over yesterday. That man is the most horrible human being on Earth, and that is including Giovanni! At least with him you always knew what to expect. With that jerk you never really know because he is such a loose cannon. I don't care if he apologized through another person or 'takes responsibility', whatever that's supposed to mean. He… He is so infuriating! I didn't do anything to deserve what he put me through! Or what he's still putting me through. I just… I just want to put him in his place sometimes. Like that would ever happen…

Okay, so what happened was that I was walking with Hermit. Well, Hermit was hovering next to me, but I was walking down the street, minding my own business. Then I bumped into somebody because I wasn't paying attention. It happens ALL THE TIME! My bad, I mumbled an apology like always, but before I even knew what happened he was on the ground two meters away and Hermit was standing in front of me. I didn't know why he did it, but I know he wouldn't do it for nothing. Hermit isn't that type of pokemon! He does things for a reason, and he told me that he got some very bad vibes from that jerk. Think homicidal rage-type vibes. He was just protecting me from the lunatic. Hermit took evasive action; he put distance between us and the enemy and assumed a defensive stance. Completely understandable! But I can see how that would upset anybody. I'm sure that I would be upset in such a situation, but I am also smart enough to walk away. He wasn't. He decided that the best thing to do was to swagger closer to us, so Hermit took a more aggressive stance with his twisted spoons and told him to leave me alone. Right about then was the moment that I realized who it was. I thought it was just another townie, but of course I couldn't get that lucky. It had to be Byron, Roark's father. That hot-head never liked me and this incident only gave him another reason to hate my guts.

Just writing this makes my blood boil. Nobody gets under my skin quite like he does, and I have spent a lot of time with a lot of irritating people! I need to take a break. This is just too much for me right now.

September 1, Later

Okay, so I'm going to try to do this again. So… I think I was at the part where Hermit went into battle mode. Before I had a chance to say anything to either Hermit or Byron, Byron brought out his Skarmory. The Skarmory immediately charged Hermit. The only thing I could think of saying was for Hermit to use his defensive skills. The last thing I wanted to do was to make things worse by getting into a random street fight with Byron. By that time a rather large crowd had formed around us, and I was so fearful that one of them would get hurt. Skarmory are… Well, they are dangerous. Their feathers are practically swords, so even a well-meaning brush with one can cause you to lose a limb. In fact, one bystander was almost tackled by it. The bird charged towards Hermit, Hermit teleported, and the bird couldn't stop. Luckily Hermit noticed and teleported away from the crowd with the bird. He got some bad cuts from that move, but at least it prevented an innocent bystander from getting hurt.

After that Gardenia showed up and broke up the fight. We both put our pokemon in their poke balls. Gardenia gave me the 'disappointed' look. I know that look all too well… Then she told me to go back to the gym and that she would talk to me later. Then she ran over to Byron and I left. I was so embarrassed and humiliated. I was really happy here and now when people see me walking down the street they start to whisper. Hermit won't tell me what they're saying; he says that it isn't important. But it still hurts me. It's like being stabbed by their eyes every time I'm out in public. It is the worst feeling in the world…

I'm not in trouble for it. When Gardenia came back to the gym she said that she had talked to Byron and he took responsibility for it. She said that he said that he escalated a situation that would normally be harmless. Still… People in town don't see it that way. I get a negative vibe from them. Even most of the trainers at the gym seem to act differently towards me. I guess this is just another place where I'm not welcome anymore…

On top of that, I can't stop thinking about Roark. It's like all of the emotions are back with a vengeance… Just when I think that I'm getting over him something happens to make me feel like it ended yesterday. I'm just beating myself up over it, too. I should have just uprooted the moment I found out his grandfather lives here. I should have known that somehow, someway, something would happen. I feel like I can't trust my own judgment right now.

September 2

Dear Diary,

I'm at my farm today. I was sad to leave Eterna City, but it was for the best. I might come back there once things calm down, but being back here is the best thing for me right now.

I spent the morning tending eggs. Nothing new has hatched, but I'm pretty sure that a few eggs are getting close to hatching. They kinda wiggled when I rotated them, and that is a very good sign. Hopefully I will have a few more hatchlings over the next few days. Eggs tend to hatch in batches, and the last batch was much smaller than the first batch of Bulbasaur.

I love this place in many ways. I am still trying to get settled into the house. In many ways it seems very empty. I'm trying to think of all the things I need to buy in order to make this house into my home, but I'm hesitant to do that. Roark built this house. In many ways it feels like _his_ house and not _my_ house. I don't want to think about him constantly, and I've found myself doing just that since I've come to this place. I can't stop thinking about all of the time and effort he put into doing this for me. I keep thinking about the last time I saw him and the fight that we had the day before at the mansion… I never knew that somebody would be able to hurt me as much as he did. I just can't seem to get away from him. Even when I thought I found a new place where I fit in, his family managed to bring me back down to Earth.

I'm trying my very hardest to just push that out of my mind, but that is much easier said than done. It almost scares me how much things that are tangentially related to Roark have this effect on my psyche. Hermit has his opinion about it; he thinks that I will get over him eventually. He says that everybody goes through these things. I suppose it's harder on me because he is the first real boyfriend I've ever really had. I never let anybody get that close to me, and now that he's gone he ripped just as much away from me.

On top of that, Iggy is gone. He always knew how to make me smile. Belami and the others try, but it just isn't the same. I love them, I really do, but Iggy was my first pokemon. He's been my friend and companion since I began my journey and these weeks without him have been the very worst in my life. Hermit checks in with Shuppet at lease once per day to see how Iggy is doing, but who knows if he will ever come back.

September 2, Later

DD,

I'm not feeling well today. I just feel like I have all of this emotional baggage weighing me down. I don't even know where most of it came from. I should have known better! I work best when I don't let myself get attached to other people. They always seem to let me down… The only things in my life that haven't let me down are my pokemon. They've always come through for me, even if I've dropped the ball a few times.

I can't help but think about when I left Vermillion City with Iggy. It was scary at first, but it all worked out in the end. It was exciting and new… Maybe I should strike out again with nothing. The farm can run itself. I have pokemon in place who take care of each other. They almost seem to work better without me… At least it feels that way…

Hermit says that life isn't easy. I don't want an easy life, but I do want a happy one. I'm just now happy in Sinnoh and I don't know if that is ever going to change.

September 3

Dear Diary,

I was watching TV with Sinatra when they had a commercial for Pokemon Big Brother. I was fine at first, but when they zoomed in on Iggy all puffed up and angry, I couldn't help but feel responsible. I can't watch that show. It wouldn't be so bad if he seemed happy, but there always seems to be some sort of drama going on. I wish he had left with me…

You know, I wonder if it was a sign. The commercial happened during a TV show about faraway places. They were profiling a place called Unova. Maybe… Just maybe I should go there. I might have to talk to Hermit about this and see what he thinks. He's never short on opinions.

September 4

Dear Diary,

Last night was stressful, but we came to a decision. We're going to Unova. I am currently talking to my pokemon and seeing which want to travel and which ones want to stay at the farm. So far most of them want to stay, but I have a few willing recruits. Hermit didn't even hesitate when I asked him (although he did bring up many valid points about why I shouldn't go). Claudene is excited about leaving for somewhere new. She has a wild steak that is perfect for adventure. Belami is the same way; he is giddy with excitement about the prospect of going to Unova.

Most of the others want to stay. Leon surprised me when he said he didn't want to leave. He is taking egg-tending very seriously and doesn't want to leave until all of the eggs have hatched. Tech, Sinatra, and Sea all refused to leave Sinnoh without Ned. They know that Ned is in Oreburgh City with Roark… I think it's honorable of them to stick together in that way. I said that they could go visit Ned if they promised to be nice to Roark and anybody else they encounter. I said the same thing to the others that are staying at the farm. I have no doubt that things will run smoothly while I'm gone.

Some are on the fence about it. Torterra isn't sure about leaving Sinnoh. He's never left the region and isn't sure if he wants to go there. I can certainly understand. Unova is supposed to be much less rural than Sinnoh, so he may have a hard time there. Strength likes the farm because she can spend all day lazing in the sun. She isn't sure if she wants to go through the stress of an adventure in a new land. I can understand that, so I told her that I understand her decision either way. Pidgeotto feel the same way. On one hand, she enjoys this type of adventure. On the other hand, she enjoys the freedom that comes with living on the farm. I hope that she chooses to come with us, but I know that we'll find a way to thrive without her.

I have put a lot of thought into this and I don't plan on being in Unova forever. I just think that it would be best for me to get away from here for now. I will come back; as soon as Iggy is away from that crazy TV show I will come back to see him. Who knows, maybe he'll join the team and we can travel through Unova together…

September 5

Dear Diary,

I checked around and found out that to get to Unova from Sinnoh, I have to go through the port at Canalave City. That is the very last place that I want to go… But it is a means to an end. I'm leaving for the city tomorrow morning. With good time, I should be there by the end of the day. Then I can finalize my travel plans and we'll be on our way to an entirely new adventure. Now I just have to decide what to pack… Since I don't have my special bag, weight and quantity are both an issue. That means that I have some hard decisions to make.

September 6

DD,

We're on our way! Four pokemon decided to take the plunge with me. Hermit, Belami, Claudene, and a little bulbasaur I like to call Florien. He hatched late last night and hasn't left my side since his big eyes met mine. He has a lot of moxie, and it fits well with the team.

I'd love to write more, but we have to keep up a good pace if we want to get there in time for our boat. We'll catch up once we're in the city!

September 6, Later

Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we made it to Canalave City with a combination of teleportation and sore feet. The bad news is that the boat without us. It left early! Or maybe I arrived late. Either way, it is not a good situation. I was told that I had until the 7th to get here in order to make that boat, but it is long gone. I am not happy, but I suppose that I've been through worse.

I'm just going to lay low here at the hotel until the next boat for Unova. This one won't be direct, but at least it will get us going in the right direction. I don't think I would mind, except that I know that this is where Byron lives. The last thing I want is to run into that blowhard again. But I can't change the situation and I want to be near the port just in case. I just have to remember that everything happens for a reason.

So… Yeah. New tickets are booked and I have two days to burn before the next boat gets here and another day before it departs. I am excited and nervous at the same time. It will be so… different than anything I've done before. I don't even know what to think half the time, but I am sure that this is the right thing for me. This is the happiest that I've been in weeks, perhaps even months. I am so excited about this new adventure that I can't sleep!

Florien can't sleep either. He is hanging out with me at the piers. You know, the piers remind me of home. I love to see the waves and the ships coming in and out. It's very… soothing to me. It's hard to explain why. I suppose it's just one of those things. Florien seems to like them too. He has such a lovely personality. He is feisty and doesn't like being in his poke ball. I don't think that will be a problem right now, but when he grows up it might not be so easy. Yes, believe it or not my adorable little bulbasaur will one day be a venusaur. I don't know if a venusaur would be bigger than a torterra, but I'm sure that it is close. The venusaur I saw in the woods was even bigger than my torterra. Yikes!

I never thought I'd have such super-sized pokemon. Then again, much of my life has been a big surprise. Most of my family thought I would grow up to be a nurse just like the vast majority of my kin. I… I don't know what I saw for my future. I know that I didn't see myself in a Pokemon Center, but I know that I never thought I would travel the world. This really has been quite the adventure.

I know that this might sound strange, but I think I'll swing by the pokemon center tomorrow. I don't have Iggy with me, so I won't have to worry about that type of drama. Who knows, maybe I'll even see Aunt Sally…

September 7

Dear Diary,

I'm having fun today. There is a really cool library on the north side of town, so I decided to check it out. It is actually has some really interesting books. I'm currently reading one about lake monsters. It is very interesting. It talks about documented phenomenon, like red gyarados, and legends, like the lake guardians. They are called Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf. They remind me of the legendary birds back in Kanto. It was pretty neat!

I also found the best place to eat in town. It's simply called The Lax. Now, one might expect a place like that to be a dive, but it was a wonderful experience. They had comfort food that reminded me of things my grandmother used to make. Their waffles were to die for! I will make it a habit to come here if I ever come back to Sinnoh.

Not much happened beyond that! I'm just excited about leaving for somewhere new in a few days. Hopefully Unova will be as interesting as I hope it is.

September 8

DD,

I don't even know what to say. I was having a hard enough day before they ruined it… Okay, so I went to the Pokemon Center and it looked exactly like it did when I was a kid. I mean, nothing had really changed. Well, there was one big difference. On the wall and on the front door they had one of those fliers… The 'Missing Child' fliers that were everywhere when I was traveling around Kanto. Now, I know for a fact that my mom's Center took those down years ago. But she never did… She never gave up hope for me. She still believes in me… I thought that nobody cared about that little girl. I always thought that it was just a show, but maybe she really does care about me. Seeing those fliers made me want to just go into the Pokemon Center and tell her everything that had happened. I even had my hand on the door when it happened. It was Gail. I didn't know it was him at first and I have no idea what he was doing in Canalave City. He just ran up to me, grabbed me, and kissed me! I didn't even know it was him until he ran away! But before he left, he put a Poke Ball into my hand. If he wanted to give me something I can think of a million better ways to get it done. But no, he had to do it that way. And he had to do it in front of Byron. I was confused and standing there and then my mind was all like 'That was Gail?' and then I saw Byron glaring daggers at me like I had planned the entire thing! It isn't my fault that Gail is some type of creepy stalker who randomly kisses girls. As if the moment wasn't emotionally charged enough… Why do all of these things have to come together?

I wish I had done something different with my life. I hate myself so much right now… I wish that I wasn't so stupid! Why did I run away? Or better yet, why didn't I just run away to live with Aunt Sally? It was a stupid move to make. And getting into that fight with Roark was even more stupid. I finally had something normal in my life and then I chose to ruin it. Who does that? Who lets themselves sabotage their own life so badly? And now, even if I wanted to see Roark again I can't because Byron has probably already told him that he saw me making out with some random guy in the street! I didn't want to, it just happened! Why would Roark want me back, anyways? What do I have? A few well-trained pokemon and more issues than most magazines? In what world is that enough for Roark? He deserves better than me. That's the one thing that Byron always knew. And you know what? He was 100% right. I'm completely worthless and should never have gotten the time of day with somebody as great at Roark. I don't even know what I was thinking.

Then there is Gail. I don't know what is up with him. Hermit doesn't get it either and he thinks that there is something really weird about it all. He's on high alert because of it. Then again, he can be paranoid. In a good way, of course. Well, is there a good type of paranoid? I'm sure that if there was, Hermit would be it. Hermit is just that type, ya know? He says that I just need to get it out of my mind and I need to focus on tomorrow. Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow we're going on a boat ride across the ocean. Tomorrow a new chapter begins. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow!

The one and only good thing is that I will be gone from this dreadful place tomorrow. I'm going to Unova and I am never coming back. Not for Roark, not even for Iggy. I am gone forever.

20 September

Dear LC,

When you wake up you will have many things to be angry about. First is that I read your diary. Second is that I started writing in it. In my defense, it did not seem right to leave it empty. These last few days have been very draining on all of us, and I think that you deserve to know what happened. I do not think you will talk to me or even listen to me when you wake up, but I do think you will read this. That is why I am writing this for you, LC. There are some things you deserve to know.

First things first: I am sorry. I am so sorry that I caused all of this. I am sorry that you got hurt, and I am sorry that I cannot make everything better. What I can tell you is that I am doing everything I can to keep your secrets. I made sure that Jenny did not see your diary and that Hermit understood what he could and could not tell her. I am also doing my best to take care of your Pokemon. As of this morning, every one of them is healthy except for that little Bulbasaur. He is still at the Pokemon Center in Canalave City. He was badly poisoned by something. The nurse has no idea how he became so ill because Bulbasaur is a poison type Pokemon. Usually poison types are immune to poisoning, so she is having a hard time treating him. We all hope that he will pull through. We wish the same for you, LC. We just want you back. I just want you back.

This is what we have been able to piece together thus far. You were in Canalave City because you wanted to leave Sinnoh. Jenny said that you had tickets for Unova and were set to leave on the 9th of September. I am not sure if I am happy or sad that you did not make your boat. I am happy that you are still here, but I wish it could have been under different circumstances. You see, the night before you were going to leave something happened. Something very, very bad happened to you. According to Hermit, you were very upset over something that happened earlier in the day. He said that you cried yourself to sleep over it. He said a few other things, but they do not seem to matter. Early in the morning is when it happened. First, Hermit got into a fight with a Gengar and was knocked out. While he was fighting the ghost, a man came into your room and injected you with a tranquilizer. This next part is only speculation. Nobody can know for sure, but Jenny believes that the man had to battle several of your other Pokemon and at some point your Bulbasaur was poisoned. Then he took you, your bag, and most of your Pokemon to Mt. Coronet. The little Bulbasaur was left in the room and nearly died, but people heard the commotion and called the police. Officer Jenny found the room in disarray. The room was destroyed, there was blood on the ground, and you were missing.

I found out the next morning. I got a call from my father about what had happened at your hotel room. I spoke to Jenny a few hours later, and I had nothing much to add. She asked me if you had any enemies. She wanted to know if I knew of anybody who would want to hurt you. I had nothing. I had no idea about the things you had been through. The sad thing is that I am sure this diary only scratches the surface. It almost scares me to think of the things you have no written about.

That evening I got another call from Officer Jenny. She said that she had reason to believe that they were taking you to Mt. Coronet. She asked me to arrange a search party to leave from Oreburgh City. I managed to gather up enough people for two search parties that were set to leave in the morning. That night my father and a group from the Canalave Gym arrived in Oreburgh City. Jenny from Canalave City was coordinating the search effort. She gave each of our teams an area to cover. I led one, my father led one, and the Jenny from Oreburgh City led the third. They also had teams leaving from Eterna City and a few other towns near the mountain. Everybody left the morning of the 10th to find you.

It took us four days, four long days, to find you. On day one, I set out with the group from the Oreburgh Gym and the group from Canalave City. On day two, we split up at a mountain pass so that we could cover more ground. On day three, my team found the trail. Although I know the mountains well, it was Grant that took the lead. He is the best tracker I know and I have no doubt that he gave us an edge in finding you. It broke my heart to see your blood on the path we were following, but we knew that we were getting closer. We

On the fourth day, my team met up with the team from Canalave City. The other teams were closing in on the area, too. We knew we were very close because the tracks were very fresh. I only wish we had known how close. If we had, then this may not have happened to you. LC, we set up our camp for the night in a cave just after sunset. It turns out that your captors had stopped for the night less than two kilometers away. Out of everything, that is what I feel worst about. I should have known; I should have pressed on and saved you from what happened next.

I cannot say for sure what happened to you at their camp. I can only tell you what happened to me and what we guess happened after the fact. I was sitting outside, looking at the mountain pass below. My father walked out and we started talking about this situation. Then we heard a loud noise. It was not a natural noise, like rocks falling down a cliff. It was the very distinct noise of a gun being fired. We looked at each other, then in the direction of the noise, and then we ran in that direction. Looking back, it was a very reckless thing to do. If you have taught me one thing, it is that you need to be careful on Mt. Coronet.

What happened next is the worst moment of my life. Nothing else comes close; it shook me to my very core. We had just rounded a corner and could see where they had made camp. I nearly slipped when I made the turn, but my father managed to grab me before I lost my balance. Then we heard the most blood-curdling scream. It came from you; you were tumbling down the mountain. The only thing worse than hearing you scream as you fell was the utter silence that came after you hit the rocks in the canyon below. I thought you were dead. It made no sense to me. You deserved better than that. After reading your diary, I have to say that you did not deserve so many of the things that have happened to you.

After a moment we regained our resolve. Dad and I quickly made our way to the clearing ahead. It seemed to happen in slow-motion. I stopped at the place where you fell down the mountain, and dad went forward to the clearing where they had made camp. He did not get a good look at the trainer, but he did see him fly away on a Fearow just as he arrived. Even though I should have focused on catching that wretch, I just wanted to find you. It was not easy getting down to you, but I had my Probopass with me. I held onto him and he used the magnetic field of the mountain to get down to the level where your body lay still on the rocks. I was terrified because I did not know what I would find, but when I saw your breathing I knew there was hope.

With the help of Probopass and his mini-noses, I managed to get you back to where our search party was camping. We did our best to tend your wounds, but we were not sure if you would be able to make it down the mountain alive. You were bleeding through your bandages and your breathing was very shallow. I did not sleep at all that entire night; I wanted to be there for you.

Dad did not come back to the camp until the dawn. He had spent the night at the clearing just in case the man came back. Luckily, he brought your bag when did return to our camp. That is what saved you; if Dad had not brought that bag then you would have died in that cave.

When I first looked through your bag, I noticed that the Poke Balls had this strange netting over them. I removed the netting from one of them, and Hermit immediately came out. He looked horrible; he was barely able to stand up. He spoke to me inside of my mind. It was a very strange feeling; he had never done that with me before. He walked me through where to find medicine in your bag. I managed to heal Hermit enough to teleport you back home to Oreburgh City. It was a risky move, but the doctor says that it saved your life.

That is everything, more or less. After the teleportation, Hermit collapsed and had to spend three days at the Pokemon Center. He has not left your side since Nurse Joy released him to me. Your other Pokemon were fine, if not upset over your condition. I try to bring one with me every day when I visit. It helps keep their spirits up. I try to visit twice every day. I feel better when I know how you are doing.

I will not lie; this last week has been scary. At first the doctor did not think you would pull through. He was very concerned about a number of things, but you have managed to beat the odds so far. I only hope that you keep it up.

I am so sorry that I was not there to protect you. If I had not started that fight, then you never would have been forced into this situation. I feel responsible for everything. I promise that I will not let this happen to you again. If you let me back into your life then I pledge that to you. I will be your protector. I will be Roark, your rock.

22 September

Dear LC,

You are doing better today. The doctor seems to think that you will more likely live than die. That is a big improvement for my mind. For these last few agonizing days he said that it was touch and go. It was scary to think that the odds were against you. I hope that things continue to improve. Nothing would make me happier than being able to see you awake. I know that you might never want to see me again after you wake up, but I need to know that you are alright. I will not forgive myself if you do not make it through this.

You might want to know what injuries you have. I will be honest: I do not know all of them. It pains me to hear the doctor talk about them because each seems worse than the last. These are the ones that we did talk about:

3 broken fingers

6 dislocated joints

4 broken ribs

1 collapsed lung

Cerebral edema

Add to that more scratches, scrapes, and bruises than I can count. Sometimes I pretend that you look worse than you really are, but it is hard to believe it when you cannot wake up. The doctor says that is mainly caused by the cerebral edema. Basically, your brain is swollen. They put you on medicine to help stop the swelling, but it may have happened too late. There is so much uncertainty about it. You could walk out of this without any long-lasting problems. You could die. Any degree between the two could happen. It scares me, to be honest.

The doctor says that you were very lucky. If one of the ribs had punctured a lung then you would not have survived long enough to get to the hospital. Add the head injury to that and I cannot help but think you have a guardian angel. I know that this seems like a lot, but I know that you can get through this. We will do everything we can to support you as you become well again.

25 September

Dear LC,

This is not as easy as you make it seem. I cannot believe how many pages you have filled over the last few months. I have a hard time finding the right words. I never have been good at knowing what to say (at least when you are involved). I always become tongue-tied. There is something about you that does that to me. It is what I love about you. When we first met, you took my breath away. Part of it was the surprise. A beautiful woman fell from the sky. That type of thing is not supposed to happen to guys like me. Yet it did. Then you left Oreburgh City and I thought you would never come back. Then I saw you again, we started writing to each other, and I fell in love with you. The one thing I am unsure of is how we went from there to here. Oh well, life can be cruel at times. Even though this situation is less than ideal, at least I have a second chance. If you give me that chance then I promise not to let you down again.


	8. October

2 October

Dear LC,

Today was not a good day. I am not just saying that because of the problems at the mine, either. It is because you have not had any improvement over these last few days. The doctors say that we have to prepare for the very real possibility that you will not wake up.

Let me back up. I had a day off from work and I came to visit you along with Ned. It was like any other day, except the doctor said that he wanted to talk to me. I said yes, of course, and he started giving all of these statistics and said that the odds will not get any better as we go forward. He asked me if you ever told me what your wishes were; if you wanted to be kept alive on machines or if you wanted to drift away. We never had that type of conversation. You never even wrote about it in your diary… I do not think that people our age really think about that until life confronts us with a situation like this.

I told him that I did not know and that if it came down to it, Hermit would be the one to decide. I think that he knew you best out of all of us and he would know when it was time to let go. You always kept such faith in your pokemon. I trust them too...

5 October

Dear LC,

Finally! Some good news! Hermit says that he felt you today. I do not entirely understand how psychic pokemon work, but he says that he felt you. I assume it has something to do with your mind because that is how he seems to talk to me. I just know what he says; it is just in my head. Not in a bad way, mind you. It just is what it is. I suppose that you have to know a psychic pokemon to understand. I have no doubt that you get it because Hermit has been with you for years. I doubt that he just started talking to me for the fun of it.

Strangely enough, Hermit said that you do not dream like normal people. He says that most people dream in a way that he can 'dive in' and communicate with them, but Hermit told me that he has never been able to do that with you. I assume that by 'dive in' he means that he can be in the dream and interact with the person when they are asleep. In any case, we cannot know for sure if you are okay mentally, but this is very encouraging. You could wake up any day now! I do not think I can express how happy that day will be. Even thinking about it brings a smile to my face.

8 October

Dear LC,

It's a great day. I swear that you smiled at me when I came to visit. It was nice to see that part of you shine through. It is never easy to see you in this state, but every day you look a little bit better.

10 October

Dear LC,

You made me the happiest man in Sinnoh today. Seeing you awake and talking to Hermit made me feel something beyond happiness. It was a feeling I can only describe as a mixture of joy, relief, and hope. You are back and I never want you to be taken from me again.

Tomorrow I think I will have the guts to talk to you. Then I can give you back your diary and hopefully you will understand. I love you LC. I do not know if you love me, but never forget that I love YOU.

October 18

Dear Diary,

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I so have many mixed emotions right now. I suppose the overwhelming one is pain. I hurt every time that I move. When think I about moving, I can feel the aches wave through body. It even pains to me breathe half the time. The doctor has given me medicine help, but I just phase out and can't really do anything or talk to anybody when I'm on that medicine. So they make me choose between being in pain and being present or being comfortable yet absent. I'm slowly making the towards transition the former option. I want know to what is going on around me. I need more awareness than had I on that night…

I don't remember what happened the at hotel and my memory is spotty about what happened the mountain on. I remember that my head pounding was… No, is part of even it? I don't know even anymore. I try not think to of it; it makes my hurt head try to think anything of.

Of course, a people have few visited me and told what me happened. I was kidnapped and then had I a tumble down the mountain, which is how I got most of my injuries. I got lucky, though, and suppose I that's the story my of life.

Well, wrote more I than I thought could I. I try will write to more tomorrow…

October 20

Dear Diary,

It's scary here. I know that I have Hermit with me, but I don't like at it the hospital. I don't like the sounds, I don't like the smell, and I don't like being dependent on others. This place is just… It is worse than prison. Prison you can escape from, but I'm stuck here. For the time being, at least…

It doesn't hurt as much it as used to. The first few days it really hurt to breathe and when I tried to move. Now I feel better somewhat. My fingers are doing better and at least I can take off the brace to write. I still have to wear a thing a lot of the time, but it isn't so bad. It still hurts when I move around, but they said that my ribs are doing better. They said it can take up to 8 or 9 weeks for them to fully heal, and it's been month. I can't believe what happened one month ago. I still don't understand what happened.

Oh, and I got up and walked today. My legs didn't really support me well, and my arms weren't much help either. Luckily Hermit was there to prevent me from falling to the ground. Then, between him and the help of a walker, I took some steps. I guess being in the bed for so long has really affected my body. But I am determined to get better and for things to get back to normal. I have no doubt that I will improve one way or another. They said that physical therapy will help that. I hope it won't be too hard…

October 21

Dear Diary,

Today has been a good pretty day. I got to see Florien today. Roark had his father bring Florien from City Canalave to here. The little guy is a real trooper. Roark explained how Florien was badly poisoned during the scuffle when I was abducted. Don't ask us how; I always thought that it was impossible for poison-types to become poisoned themselves. The poisoning has left Florien an oddly-green color. Most bulbasaur are an adorable blue color with a green bulb, but he is green all over. I feel bad that he had to go through that. He definitely didn't deserve it for happened to him. Roark has been taking care of him. He is still weak and needs the one-on-one attention.

I think that's the pink elephant in the room. Roark, I mean. So… Where do I begin? He saved my life on the mountain. If he wasn't there then I would be 6 feet under by now. Beyond that, he kept my secrets. He didn't give you to Officer Jenny and he helped steer her away from questions like "Why LC?" He even visits me every day… And he's taken care of my pokemon and has been so nice to me… And yet I still don't know how I feel about him. He really hurt me and doing all of these things is really nice, but I don't know if I want him to be part of my life. He's a good person, but I just don't know if we're good together. Hermit says that I shouldn't worry about it right now, so I try not to. He tells me to focus on more important things like getting well again. It's hard to focus on that because there is nothing to do! The hospital is BORING! There is nothing to do here. I just have to sit in bed all day, so my activities consist of watching TV, listening to music, and writing in you. There isn't much else, except for when somebody visits me or a nurse has to do something. It's maddening. I just want to get up and walk away from this place sometimes. If I was physically able to, I think I'd be gone. Unfortunately, that isn't on the table. And when I can leave, I can't go too far away. There isn't a proper hospital in Floaroma Town and even if there were, my farm is too far away from town for me to be able to go back there. Roark said that I can stay with him until I can go back home, but I don't know if that's such a good idea. I already feel like such a burden, I don't want to make it even worse…

October 23

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was not fun at all. They kept wheeling me around to do different tests. I didn't even know what was happening half the time. It was confusing and painful and the worst part is that I will probably have more days like that. It is so frustrating to know that this is what my life is about. Today wasn't much better. Officer Jenny came back to interview. Apparently this wasn't the first time she's tried to talk to me. Jenny claims that I wasn't lucid during the first one, so she wanted to try again now that I've improved. I don't even remember the first interview, to be honest. That's probably a good thing, because today's talk wasn't pleasant.

The interview was stressful. She had so many questions… I just couldn't keep up with it all. Luckily, Hermit helped feed me things to say to her. I'm lucky to have him watching my back. He kept things together even when I was flustered. He didn't make himself visible, but he knows how to talk to me in my mind. It's hard to explain… It's like hearing voices, but not in a crazy way. More like a psychic way? He is a psychic pokemon and he has such cool powers. I don't know how I ever got along without him.

Oh, and Roark was there, too… Mainly for 'moral support', but we also talked afterwards. He knew that some of what I said was a lie. I think that most of it came from what he read in you… After Jenny left, we talked for a little while. Roark said that he understands why I need to lie but that he doesn't want me to lie to him. He said that I don't need to hide, but I don't think he understands. The more he knows, the more he is at risk. At one point, Hermit got upset at what Roark said and teleported him away. I don't remember exactly what he said… He still hasn't come back, so hopefully he is okay… Perhaps I should talk to Hermit about it…

October 25

Dear Diary,

I feel pretty bad today. I think it's from stress… Roark came back yesterday. He apologized about how things got heated, but he insisted that we talk about my past. He said that he understood my feelings about my past but that he needs some questions answered… Mainly, he wanted to know about my time with Team Rocket. I… I talked to Hermit about it. I really like Roark and I think that he's doing the best he can given our situation. Hermit doesn't think it's a good idea, but part of me has wanted to tell somebody for so long. I'm taking a chance with it, but I decided that Roark is the one.

I'm not defending what I did. Now that I know the truth about TR I feel sick about the fact that I used to be associated with them. I told Roark how they recruited me. How I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself. How I was tired of being alone and cold… How I wanted to be accepted, and they did accept me. I thought that they were just an average crime syndicate who focused on loan and gambling rings. I had no idea about the thefts, the crazed scientists, or the murder. The moment I found out the truth, I was gone. It wasn't easy, but I cut ties with them. Of course, you can't just leave TR. TR leaves you… That's why I've been running for the better part of the last decade. I want stability. I want to be normal. I just… I just don't have that option anymore. I made a very bad mistake when I was just a kid and I've been paying for that mistake every day since.

Honestly, I've thought about rejoining them more than once. It would certainly be the easier option. I'm sure that I'd be good at it; I'm much smarter than most of their thugs. I just don't know if I'd be able to live with myself or with that life. On one hand, I would be free. On the other hand, I would be ridden with guilt. I don't know… I don't want my pokemon to have to live that life. I've never made them do questionable things. I think I could live with myself, but it wouldn't be fair to them to have to do the same. I think that's why I chose this life.

I don't know if Roark can ever really understand what I went through. I know that he knows that I was honest about my time with TR. I also don't think he understands how dangerous it is for me to stay in Oreburgh City. They know that I'm here. It's only a matter of time before they strike again… And who knows what will happen? Who knows why they took me to the mountain? Wouldn't it have made more sense to sneak me out of the city on a boat? Who knows what crazed logic is behind their plans…

October 26

Dear Diary,

The doctor spoke to me today. We talked about the rehabilitation plan and how they preliminary results of my tests look pretty good. He says that if the last few tests come back without any abnormalities that I can leave the hospital. I'm pretty happy about it! It will be nice to get out of this place. I like the doctors and nurses who have been helping me, but I'm ready to be independent again. This is the first time that I've really needed other people since I was a child. It has been a strange ride, but I'm ready for things to get back to normal. I just want to get back to my ranch so that I can just take it easy and heal. I don't think that's asking too much, is it?

I'm starting to feel more normal. I've even been reading some books because I stay up for more than a few hours at a time. Also, it isn't hurting as much when I move, and I can even wear normal clothes sometimes. I've been making some pretty good progress when it comes to walking. At first it seemed impossible, but I feel stronger every day. I feel like things are starting to fall into place. I'm lucky that I have so many people supporting me in the meantime. Roark is nice and brings things that I ask for. He really is trying… I just don't know what to think of it. He hurt me so badly… Then again, maybe I just hurt myself…

October 28

DD,

I had a visitor today! It was one of the children that I gave a bulbasaur to. He was adorable and his little bulbasaur has already evolved into a venusaur. He was beaming because he had just earned a badge from Roark. He cheered me up immensely. He reminds me of everything that is good in the world.

I'm also making progress. I'm up and walking around. They're a bit worried about bone density and muscle tone, but I think that things will be okay. I don't need to use a walker anymore, and I think that is great progress. At first my legs felt like pudding and my entire body hurt too much to even try. Now I can power through it all and I make it work.

Roark brought Florien to visit today. He's looking even better than the last time I saw him. He still looks green, but he was much more rambunctious. He is acting the way that you'd expect a bulbasaur to act. I couldn't be happier. Roark said that the Nurse Joy here in Oreburgh was taking care of him, but now he's doing well enough that he can come home. Then Roark asked when I was coming home. Roark… He made it clear that he wanted me to come home with him. He said that the doctors said that I'd be released sooner rather than later, and that we needed to plan for what I was going to do. Well, I want to just go back to my ranch. Except… Well, it isn't exactly near a hospital. I isn't particularly close to anything, actually. I wouldn't be able to keep up with my care… So… I don't know, I guess I need to see if I have any other options. Maybe I can find an inn or rent something… I'm sure that somewhere in this city there is something that would work… I know that Roark is just thinking pragmatically, but I feel sad. Leaving here probably isn't going to go the way that I want it to.

October 29

Dear Diary,

Well, I've made it through another boring day. I don't want to say boring; it probably isn't fair to me. I had physical therapy, the vampires took my blood, and I even went for a walk outside with Hermit. The weather was surprisingly nice for October. It was just this side of chilly, which is the perfect temperature for me. The leaves are falling off the trees and everything seems to be drenched in fall colors. Even the mountain in the distance seems have changed. It is a lovely time of year.

A few people stopped to chat with me. Nothing too bad; mostly it was people who knew Roark. I think that it's awkward because they don't know where Roark and I stand so they aren't quite sure how to act around me. It's okay, I can understand. This city is pretty big, but it feels so small. It seems like everybody knows everybody else. Oh, and everybody knows what you are doing and wants to know why you are doing it. It makes me feel like I'm part of something… I don't know if I like it or not, but it certainly is amusing.

October 31

Dear Diary,

Well, the test results are in! I am officially healthy enough to survive in the outside world.

Roark is pushing for me to come home with him. I feel… I feel like I owe it to him to at least stay for a little while. I know that it sounds strange, but I get this feeling about Roark. It's a feeling… A feeling of indebtedness? Roark knows a very big secret of mine, and I don't want to give him any reason to tell other people. He seems so nice, but I get this feeling… I get this feeling that if Roark doesn't get his way, I will have to answer to a lot of things that happened back in Kanto. Does that make sense at all? I don't want to say that he is holding it over me, but there is just this weird vibe… I don't want things to get complicated, so it looks like I'm stuck in Oreburgh with Roark. He's making arrangements for things now. I'm not sure exactly when I'm leaving, but it will be soon.

I did talk to Hermit about it, and Hermit said that if I think Roark is intimidating me that he can intimidate Roark. I don't want it to go to that, though. This is my problem and I can't just have Hermit fix it. Hermit has already done enough. He deserves a break and, realistically, if I don't go home with Roark then a lot of my care will fall on him. He is such a loyal and hardworking pokmeon… His welfare didn't even cross his mind, but it is something that I need to remember. Although the situation isn't perfect, I think that staying with Roark is the best thing for everybody.

I leave the hospital tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm stepping into, and I'm scared. Not Halloween scared, but real scared. I'm more scared about this than.. Well, than most things I've had to go through in my life.


End file.
